Lessons from my experience with COVID-19

Lessons from my experience with COVID-19

Surrendering everyday, being patient, and embracing uncertainty are life-long lessons that never get any easier.

I’ve been MIA for a few weeks and today is the first day in weeks that I am starting to feel more like myself.  Since the end of December, COVID has spread throughout my family. We were all careful, but we caught it like millions of others all over the globe.

When I first started to feel unwell, I was convinced it was a sinus infection.  I actually tested negative for the virus initially and was sent home with medicine for a sinus infection. Then, for 11 days afterwards, I had an ongoing fever that wouldn’t go away.  The fever brought chills, body aches, a debilitating headache, nausea, exhaustion, foggy brain, and finally loss of taste and smell.  

I rested, continued taking my daily supplements, drank water, ate plant-based foods - I did everything I knew to stay healthy, and to try to recover faster.  I tried to keep working, until I couldn’t do that without making myself sicker.  I practiced affirmations.  I reached the point where I was physically exhausted, but also emotionally drained and frustrated. 

Those who know me know that I am a very active person who tries to squeeze as much out of everyday as I can, I have a zest for life, and a strong love of learning.  I love to teach, coach, write, learn, connect with others, and slowly I couldn’t do these things anymore.  I love to practice yoga, go for daily walks, socialize with friends, eat great food, drink good wine, and enjoy dark chocolate.  I couldn’t enjoy these things either.  I realized that for me, not doing the things that bring me joy was contributing to my lack of energy and melancholy.  

Day 11 I finally went to the ER to get checked out and was given a cocktail of medicines that almost overnight made me feel considerably better.  I decided that I wanted to share the lessons I learned in case it can help:

• COVID-19 is no joke. It does not discriminate, it affects everybody differently, it is sneaky and tricky, and there is no certainty for how and when you’ll get better. It is physically and emotionally draining.

• Surrendering everyday, being patient, and embracing uncertainty are life-long lessons that never get any easier.

• Losing your taste and smell is awful. I grew up in an ethic household with a mom who is an amazing cook and baker. My husband is a great cook, and I enjoy sitting down to a good meal. Not being able to enjoy eating is a form of torture that I don’t want to experience again.

• I will never take my able body for granted. Not being able to practice yoga or go for a walk outside was very humbling, and scary. Being able to walk today without getting winded or dizzy was a breakthrough.

• As an avid reader and learner, not being able to hold a thought for long or read for any extended period of time during this illness, was heartbreaking and frustrating.

• Allowing others to care for me was necessary. While I like taking care of others, I had to allow others to check in on me, drop off tea, foods, magazines, and medicine. I am forever grateful for my family, my friends, and my clients who checked in, prayed for me and my family, and shared words of support.

• When you think you’re better, take it slow. I am notorious for trying to jump back in too quickly. The sneakiness of this virus has shown me that it is not a winning strategy.

I am cautiously optimistic that I am turning a corner and will be back to myself soon, however, I am less naive now and know it will all happen in divine timing and not a second sooner.  

I hope to be back sharing regular content and programs.  Thank you for your support, prayers, and well-wishes.  Praying that you and your families stay safe and healthy.  

Love and light,

Aneta

2020's Surprise Blessing

2020’s Surprise Blessing

I will remember 2020 as the year that a group of people came together to meditate every morning, and helped each other to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

I began 2020 excited for the greatest decade ever.  As someone who loves to plan, I set my commitments for 2020 and the next decade.  While they may have played out differently than I’d intended, there were many silver linings, also. 2020 reminded me of what I intellectually know be true - I can’t control all of the circumstances of my life, but I can control my thoughts and my perspective. 

As I reflect on 2020, I will remember many lessons.  I will remember that it was the year that didn’t turn out as I had planned.  I will remember that it was the year that we were put in time out. I will remember the fear, pain, and outrage that we saw repeatedly when we turned on our televisions or refreshed our feed.  I will remember it as the year I spent more time with family, friends, and neighbors. I will remember it as a year of deep reflection and introspection.

And, I will remember 2020 as the year that a group of people, many strangers to one another, came together to meditate every morning, and helped each other to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

2020 pushed me out of my comfort zone and accelerated growth in ways that I didn’t think I was ready for. Five days into lockdown, I recognized that 2020 was not going to be the year I had planned for, and I knew that I needed to focus on serving others. What started as a way for me to serve, to give back, to do SOMETHING - turned into one of the greatest blessings.  

On March 17 I wrote in my journal that I could see that people were anxious, and that maybe I should offer a free meditation class in the mornings.  I wasn’t sure if anyone would join, but I felt compelled to share the offer on social media, with my friends, my coaching clients, and with organizations that I was working with.  On our first day, March 23, 7 people attended.  

Although many of us were initially strangers to one another, we came to rely on each other for support, encouragement, and accountability.  We celebrated birthdays, shared our needs and challenges, and developed genuine care and affection for each other. 

We live in different communities, many of us have never met in person, would never have met otherwise, and yet feel connected.  When someone missed practice, the group would notice. When members became ill or experienced loss, the group was concerned and supportive.  When someone experienced joy, we celebrated with them.    

Eight months later, I am grateful to say that our group has expanded and we still meet daily. This group has been one of the greatest gifts of my life.  A few weeks ago we had our group virtual holiday party.  We had our cameras on, dressed up, had our family members join us, and shared how we each came to join this meditation group.  We made plans for retreats and gatherings when we could safely travel and meet each other in person.  We expressed how this group has helped us to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

When discussing our silver linings and greatest lesson that we’ll take forward in 2021 and beyond, our group chose GRATITUDE.  While the pandemic may have brought us all together, it really was something bigger than that.  And for that, I am forever grateful.  

I reflect back on a journal entry from earlier this year that I wrote to myself: 

“Our life is a series of moments strung together.   Enjoy the moments in between, enjoy the silence, the quiet, the ebbs and flows, the chaos - all of it.  Learn to flow with each wave.  Don’t resist.  Float.  Breathe.  Enjoy the sunshine on your face.  Cuddle up and build a fire when it is dark and cold.  But, don’t ever wish a single moment away. Don’t ever rush from moment to moment.  Be present, be still, be focused, be you.  After all, this is all we have.”

While I miss some things from before, I also treasure things from this period of time.  I had predicted that 2020s would be the best decade ever, and I believe that now more than ever before. I believe that every single one of us has talents, gifts, experiences, thoughts, beliefs that are unique to us that we are meant to share.  What we bring to each other, to our relationships, to our communities, is special.  We have the ability to light up the world.

Yes, you can!

Yes, you can!

When you think we can’t go further, you can.

At the end of September my godson Gabe asked if I would participate in a pushup challenge.  When he asked me to join him and others on this challenge he created, I hesitated. I knew I could do 10 full pushups, maybe even 20, but I hadn’t done more than 50 in one day before. 

The challenge was to add a “0” to the date. October 1 we did 10 pushups, October 2 we doubled it to 20, and so on until the final day the goal was 310 pushups.  I told Gabe I didn’t know if I could do 310. He replied “You don’t need to do 310 today, you only need to do 10 on day 1. Can you do 10?”  I said I could and I reluctantly committed to the challenge.

The first few days were fairly easy. I did all of my pushups in one sitting, or I split them up with short breaks in between each set. After the first few days, the initial soreness went away and I could feel myself getting stronger and becoming more confident. 

As the daily challenge grew larger, I had to strategize. I started to mix up the pushups - wide, narrow, inclined, and modified, also.  I also had to spread them out throughout the day in order to get them all in before my energy was depleted.  

I started to notice that I had more energy in the morning so I would do 50 while I waited for my morning cups of coffee to finish. I promised myself at the beginning that I would not get hurt or to give up. This required me to strategize daily and then execute well.

We had a Facebook group where we recorded our daily challenge, we supported one another and shared how we felt daily. This community helped me to stay accountable, and also allowed me to encourage others when they needed support. 

Yesterday, I finished the pushup challenge having completed 310 pushups on the final day. I didn’t know if I could/would finish physically or mentally. Yet, I did without any injuries.

I realized early on that this challenge was going to be an example of how to tackle any large project, new endeavor, or really anything that scared me.  

Lessons learned:

• Sometimes we stop ourselves from saying “yes” to new challenges because the end goal seems too big, too hard, or too complicated.

• We may say “no” because we aren’t sure how or if we can finish. We allow our fears to convince us to not even try.

• What we worry about may not be the true challenge. I was worried about my strength, my endurance, and the threat of potential injuries before I accepted this challenge. I discovered that the greatest challenge was strategizing daily and then executing to the plan.

• When we think we can’t go further, we can. A strong mindset is critical.

• Completing something you didn’t think you could do is the fuel to propel you forward to greater heights.

I have said “no” to things in my life because I allowed fear to hold me back. However, this challenge reminded me that all goals begin with one step and one action in the right direction.   If you have put a goal off because you don’t know if and how you’ll accomplish it, I hope that my experience encourages you to say “yes”.