[00:00:00] Shannon: We don't need to know all of the, how it's going to happen or all of the steps or anything, but it starts with a vision and it starts with believing in either it or yourself or finding someone to believe in you. And that's all it takes to get going on that journey.
[00:00:16] Aneta: We often hear people wishing us a long, happy, and healthy life, but what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breadth depth, and purpose of each day that matter most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian Kuzma and join me weekly as I interview guests who made changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention gratitude and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.
Welcome back to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. Thank you so much for listening in. I appreciate you being here this week. My guest is Shannon Talbot. After working as a leader in the corporate world in both the financial services and advertising industries and experiencing burnout from not prioritizing her well-being or knowing how to manage her stress and anxiety, Shannon started a practice to help working professionals maximize their well-being and performance and have more energy and joy across the world.
Across every area of life, use transformational coaching techniques. She's coached hundreds of people who are driven yet stuck, and she helped them boost their confidence, energy, and joy so they can maximize their success and well-being. She wrote a book called Breaking Free, which I enjoyed.
She takes readers on her journey, including her struggles with rejection, loss, anxiety, and stress, and how she balances motherhood with ambition. She also shares inspiring stories of everyday women who triumphed over life's hurdles to achieve greater fulfillment. I loved our conversation. It was interesting because she and I have very similar backgrounds, both spent time in banking in the corporate world.
And I loved talking about it. The different elements of a book because they're both practical and inspirational. So diving into the central theme of breaking free, how vision plus action drives manifestation for things that you can call BS on. And also the three-piece perfectionism, people pleasing, and perception, which keeps many of us stuck.
We just really had a great time going through each of these things and talking about how you, wherever you are, Can start to take action and build the life that you want right now. We had a great conversation and I think you'll enjoy it as well. Take a listen.
Welcome, Shannon. I'm so excited to have you on the show. And thank you for joining me today.
[00:02:50] Shannon: Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.
[00:02:53] Aneta: I am so excited. And I finished reading your book Breaking Free last night. I read every single book where authors come on the show because I know what it's like to write a book. It is a labor of love. I loved reading so much of it and I can't wait to dive into the book because I think it resonated so much with me and I think it's going to resonate with so many other people who already have.
But for those that maybe aren't as familiar with you, I just shared a lot about you in the intro but tell me a little bit about how you found your way from corporate. From the world. The life that you were living into the one that you're living today, sounds like you're living your best life.
[00:03:36] Shannon: Yeah. So I like to start with this story because this impacted me and my career and where I am today. And it's a shortened version of the story included in the book, but basically, it all ties back to 2008. So 2008 was a really big year for me. It was the year I got married, married to my husband for 15 or so years. I should know that. And it was also the year that I took a leave of absence from my banking job. I'd had an amazing few years in banking. I was one of the few Spanish speakers. I got to do awesome, exciting things for the team and fly all over Latin America and everything.
But I wanted to go back and do my MBA. Because I wanted to switch industries. And so in 2008 I got married, and I took a leave of absence to do my MBA, but also a lot of things started happening because that was the first year I started getting new titles. I was no longer just Shannon. I was now a wife.
And it was also, I started relying on my husband's income that year because I went back to school and that felt weird to me. It was like I reverted to a 1950s housewife and I thought, Shannon, you're a wife now. You have to act a certain way. You need to cook more because I don't like cooking and you need to do this.
And I didn't know how to sew and all of these things. I put all this pressure on myself and expectations of how I should be. And then shortly after that, I became a people manager in the corporate world for the first time. And I said you're a people manager. You have to act this way. And then a few years later I became a mom and it was like, now you're a mom. You have to act this way.
And all of this pressure built and expectations I put on myself. No one else was putting them on me, built and built. And then, fast forward to a few years ago, I was still in banking. I never switched out of it as was my goal back in 2008. And I was pushing my youngest on the swing.
He was five at the time. And he said, Mommy, can I give you a goal for this year? And I got excited. I was doing my coaching certifications at the time on the side. And I said, yeah, bud, give me a goal. And he said, Mommy, can you be less angry this year? Because you are angry all the time.
[00:06:01] Aneta: Did that kill you that moment?
[00:06:05] Shannon: It was, I was in shock because this is my son. He's the competitive, like athletic one, who I just expected his goal was going to be, Mom, I want you to start doing 15 pushups a day. I didn't expect that to be the goal. I expected that from my older son, but not from him, but it was what I needed to hear.
And that was the moment when I said, enough is enough. I've been living this life, a great life. My life was wonderful. Everything was going well, but something was missing.
[00:06:38] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:06:39] Shannon: And so it was the time that I said, okay, Shannon, enough is enough. It is time to chase your dreams. It is time to, as I call chase my happiness.
And, I decided that was it. I was going to, in a few months, give notice. I was going to quit the corporate world. I was going to start my own company where I could help other professionals live happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. And really what I also had to start doing was changing my definition of success from title and salary, which is what I did for so many years to passion and purpose.
And I did all of that over time and a few false starts of course. And now, I've had this company for three years where I'm a speaker. I go into different organizations and talk to them about living happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives. I coach individuals and small groups to help them, break free, and chase their happiness.
And then as well, I wrote this book Breaking Free to help reach an even broader audience and inspire individuals to go after what would make them feel more fulfilled in their lives.
[00:07:47] Aneta: You and I just had very similar paths, which is so funny because I was in banking for 22 years. And really, I want to go back to what you said before about just taking on these identities, new titles, new roles, whatever we call them, but their identities. We suddenly are not just Shannon or Aneta.
You become, as you said, a wife. And what does that look like? And where do we look for what that definition is externally? What does that mean? What does it mean to suddenly be a mom to be a student again, or to be reliant on someone else financially? Lose a little piece of that independence and I hear this over and over again.
And I remember what that felt like. It's like you start to get lost when you start taking on all these other identities. And I always picture it as being these heavy layers of clothing that we just put on. And suddenly, you feel like you're suffocating and you don't remember that you can take them off.
Like, it's just the strangest thing. I love that you had that aha, sounds like your aha was your son saying, hey, your five-year-old in a moment when you're pushing him on the swing. And I don't know if you were actually in that moment or were you peaceful. Like was he from a place of peace going, wow, I like this and I hope mom has more of this this year?
Do you remember?
[00:09:05] Shannon: I'm guessing it was probably because I was in a place of peace
[00:09:08] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:09:09] Shannon: And you're right. And it was, so it was during COVID. I'm in Canada. So the second time where they had to stay home. It was after the Christmas break and I started blocking out time in my calendar to take them outside at lunch to get them their recess because they are very highly energetic boys five and seven.
And so I made sure that everyone in my team knew from 12 to 12:30, I had them outside. So I was finally setting those boundaries that I wasn't always good at setting, even if it was only for 30 minutes.
So I was, you're right. I never really thought about it, but I probably was in a state of peace. Whereas the rest of the time I was probably anxiously on my phone checking and responding and not being present.
[00:09:51] Aneta: Yeah. And it's beautiful, as a five-year-old, so innocent, who's like, wow, look, this is great. I like this. Let me just offer this up to Mom as a goal, which is just so sweet and so cute. And I want to then talk about this book because you connect the dots so well weaving in your own story, but I think that so many people who maybe feel the way you and I felt when we, I'm going to use the word stuck. I use that word a lot like, your self-fulfilled sort of prison or remaining in a place that maybe doesn't feel aligned or anymore.
It's hard for people to visualize how you go from what is so familiar to where you are. The title, the salary, and the things that we were taught are the things we should be seeking.
And how do you do what you said, which is redefine success, create a vision, and dream big dreams? Get over the fears. And I'm kind of going through the book as I remember it, releasing the three P's, which were Perfectionism and People pleasing and, you know, Perception. So I love that you. Start to inspirationally, but also practically talk about exercises that people can do to get from where they are to where they want to be.
So if you don't mind, let's talk about it for you, I know you went on a retreat with a coach, and that was sort of your aha moment where you suddenly were able to create the vision. So tell me about what that was like going on your tree. Because I know that was a pivotal moment for you in your story and how you left differently from the retreat than when you went in.
[00:11:32] Shannon: Sure. So just to take a slight step before that. So I had another big pivotal time in my life. it just wasn't the horrible saying nail in the coffin when my son asked me to be less angry. But the time before that, it's funny when my kids were five, something miraculous happened in a way that impacted me.
But when my oldest was five, he's 10 now. He was hospitalized for 31 days for his appendix. So something silly should have been a simple procedure turned into a bit of a nightmare. And as silly as it sounds, I look back on that time with such fondness because we got some much-needed one-on-one time with each other.
My husband and I took turns staying overnight in the hospital with him for 31 days. It was during that time that I sat back and it was the first time my career kind of took that back burner because it'd always been my career and my kids. Those were always my top priorities.
But for this time, my career took a back burner and I asked myself three questions and I said, am I happy? Am I healthy? Do I feel fulfilled? And my answers were not really, and that was disappointing to me. But then as so often happens, especially with women, my next immediate feeling was guilt and it was, Shannon, you should be grateful for what you have.
You have the house, you have the husband, you have the kids, you have an amazing job. I have everything on paper that I'd ever wanted. But I still wanted more and the guilt came in, but this time for the first time in like probably ever, I was like, bye-bye guilt. No, see you later. It is time. I don't want to feel this hole and it's time to figure out what is missing.
And I kind of joke because I first went with my career, like, okay, how can I make my career better versus if I were to do it again, I would focus on my health. Because I think that once I finally focused on my health, that was an amazing foundation for everything, but I wasn't there yet.
So I focused on my career and it just so happened right after that timeframe, I got a message in my Instagram from my husband's former boss who asked me if I knew anyone who might be looking to figure out what their next chapter was in life. And to go on a retreat on her beautiful horse farm a couple of hours outside of Toronto.
And I was like sign me up. And because it was someone, my husband and I, 're pretty different when it comes to personal and professional development. We're probably on opposite ends of the scale, but he's very supportive. But because it was someone he knew too, he was yeah, that sounds great go for it.
So I went away for three days to this retreat. And at the time I'd also just missed out on a promotion at work that I'd been going for, that I had already been at my previous company, that level. And my confidence was at an all-time low. And I went to this retreat looking back, I don't even think I had any expectations.
I think it was just, I was so lost. I was so stuck and my confidence was shattered which was not normal for me. Normally I'd had pretty good confidence even when I struggled with imposter syndrome. I went and what came out of there was mind-blowing because the one exercise she had us do was go down the journey of our career.
And we had to draw it like a river. And I hate arts and crafts. And I was I don't want to do this. This sounds ridiculous. It was phenomenal. And basically what happened was she had me connect the dots. of when were my highs and my lows, what were those qualities, things like that.
And I left that weekend with one line saying, I am a successful entrepreneur who helps people live happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. I had no idea of the, how, my whole background is business. My undergrad is in business. I have no psychology court, nothing, but I knew what would light me up was having my own business and helping others to feel happier, healthier, and more fulfilled.
And I put it, and then that's kind of what started this whole thing I gave myself 10 years to fulfill it. And that was 2019. And in 2021, I left the corporate world to do it. So for all of you listening, I didn't have the, how on paper it would have looked ridiculous. If I told people it would have sounded silly.
We don't need to know all of, how it's going to happen or all of the steps or anything, but it starts with a vision and it starts with believing in either it or yourself or finding someone to believe in you. And that's all it takes to get going on that journey.
[00:16:21] Aneta: So funny because mine was interesting too, because I heard a coach and I also didn't have the how, and I gave myself three to five years. I said I'm going to figure this out and leave. And I left within two.
[00:16:34] Shannon: Amazing.
[00:16:34] Aneta: But my phrase was, and I did an entire life vision was, I'm a successful entrepreneur who helps a limitless number of people create transformational lives so they can live with more purpose, passion, and peace.
And I have no idea how, I thought about coaching, thought about speaking, taught about writing, just like you, all these kinds of things. But at the time, like you, I'm like, I have an MBA. I've gone to banking school. I've been in banking for 22 years. Wait a second, all these other things I want to do are not even present here, but it does.
I agree with you. It starts with the vision when you have the vision and that's your why. And it's so strong. I want everyone that's listening to hear this, that will propel you forward and it will open the doors. You will be more in tune with synchronicities, to the things that present themselves. And the other thing you talk about, which I love is that it's the vision plus the action.
It's what you do after that. That leads to the manifestation. And manifestation, not in a very woo-woo way, but in a way you take the vision plus you take the action, suddenly you start to see things materialize in this physical world that we're seeing. So what were some of the actions that you took after you left with this really strong purpose, and then you gave yourself 10 years, but it happened in less? So what were some of the things that came after that?
[00:17:56] Shannon: So some of the things that came after, one of the things was writing. So I have always loved writing. It was a hobby for me. And I was like, you know what? I need to bring more joy into my life because my career right now is not giving me all that too much joy.
So for me, I was like, okay, you know what career's over there. I have my 10-year plan. But in the meantime, I want to bring more joy. And I started pitching different outlets to write articles. And I started getting paid for writing. Not much money, but enough that it inspired me to do that. So started writing and doing that.
And then in the meantime too, I said, okay, it's time to switch out of banking for once and for all. I at least need to give another industry a shot. Maybe it is another industry that will light me up. So I started networking with people and I started for the first time being open and vulnerable with people. And saying, you know what? I don't think banking's for me.
And I want to see what else is out there. And when people say, what are you looking for? I was honest and said, I have no idea. I'm just meeting with people to find out because so many people think, and a lot of the women I coach too, it's like, I need to know what that next job is so I can then network with people.
And I'm like, no, you don't. And if anyone's going to make you feel silly for not knowing, then you don't want to be talking to them anyway. And it was amazing. And I think because I just was open and said, I'm not sure, I'm just exploring the amount of connections people connected me to.
I had one of the most senior people at one of the banks I worked at opened the doors with me for so many people. He didn't even know me, but somebody had connected me to him. And he's still like an incredible mentor to me today.
And it was just phenomenal. Everyone I talked to introduced me to more people. And then I eventually moved into advertising. So I worked for an advertising agency for a couple of years, which was fun and creative. But also the hours were horrible. If I'm just being honest, the hours were worse than I could have expected.
So the next piece, the final piece for me, which got me in a great place, and what I've continued today was starting a morning routine. Because again, as I mentioned, I still had never worked on getting healthier. That was one. And for me, I was never great at managing my stress and anxiety. So I started a morning routine where I finally started practicing mindfulness. I started reading more. And I started exercising and that gave me a stronger foundation to have more energy.
And just be able to manage my stress better as more resilient. So then I could be more open to anything else that came at me down the road and have more energy to explore other opportunities and things like that.
[00:20:39] Aneta: Yeah. The routines are so critical and I love that you talk about even shifting it. Sometimes we feel like, okay. I read this in the book. This is what my favorite podcaster is doing. But the routine that is going to work best is the one that you love and the one that you want to do yourself.
And so sometimes you just have to feel into it. And I love that you kind of talked about that in the book. And one of the other things that always trips people up is fear. Sometimes the fear will keep you stuck. And I know that we think of fears. We always think of the worst-case scenarios. We don't necessarily think about, you know, what if the complete opposite is true?
I also love the Tim Ferriss exercise from his Ted talk, which is so brilliant. So talk a little bit about what you did to overcome any of your fears, or even if you're willing to share some of the things that you were worried about before you made the leap to work for yourself.
[00:21:32] Shannon: Definitely. So I did the Tim Ferriss exercise. I still do it. And one of the things I don't think Tim talks about, but I did was I set kind of a bar, like what is the one fear I'm not willing to do? And it's interesting because the stats are, it's funny. I think it's 95 percent of people fear public speaking and I'm like, I love it.
So I'm a weird person in that sense. So I don't have some of the same fears that other people have, but my top fear was dying. So for me, is this going to put me at risk of death? Okay. Maybe I won't do it.
Extreme sports are not for me. But if it wasn't that. Then I was like, okay, what's the next thing that can happen? And for me something I've constantly struggled with, and it's still a struggle as an entrepreneur is perception. And I talk about that in the book and it's how we're perceived.
And I come from a small town or two parents with prominent jobs and people knew our family. And it's like we had to be perceived a certain way kind of thing. And I grew up with that. And that's probably why when I got those new roles and titles, I told myself I had to act a certain way. So perception was always a big one for me and feeling validated externally was also a big one for me.
You can have, I don't know, 10 people compliment you, but if one person says something negative, that is what would stick with me and that is what would weigh me down. And that's the biggest thing I've had to overcome and stop thinking about and stop worrying about and just live the life that I want. It's interesting because I think one fear I had by going out on my own and starting my own business was, that I worried that I was going to then see people climbing the corporate ladder and see their promotion on LinkedIn.
And then I would feel like, they just made it to senior VP. And I didn't do that. Because that's what used to happen to me in the corporate world, I'd see somebody who announced their promotion and I'd immediately be envious or like am I ever going to get there? But I knew my job was right for me when I saw those promotions and I was happy for the person. And I would be like, but that is not the path for me.
[00:23:50] Aneta: Yeah. That's freedom. Isn't that freedom? When you can feel that way? I love that you talked about the three Ps and perception is one of them. Perception, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Which one was the hardest for you to get over?
[00:24:05] Shannon: I think perception. definitely. People pleasing. I was in the corporate world, and I was pretty concerned with people pleasing now. I'm like, nah, I'll work with people I want to work with. So that one was easy to get over. Perfectionism. Oh no, my husband called me a perfectionist yesterday, so I probably still haven't mastered that one. But I think it's the perception is still the hardest one. The hardest to get over and still the one that creeps back in now and then.
[00:24:33] Aneta: Yeah. How did you rewrite what success looks like for you you mentioned looking at external validation and some of the accolades. We get addicted to these things that we've been conditioned to receive and it does feel good.
And I know for the longest time, I felt like I had it. I don't know if you did this to explain, well, former banker, like, I would always say what I did before I became a coach, just like add credibility to the fact that I lived this whole other life, but I don't need to do that anymore. But, interestingly, I did for a while as I was growing into my new identity or returning to it. So how did you rewrite success for you?
[00:25:13] Shannon: So really quick story, and then I'll answer you. So I started my speaking business during COVID. So my first few speaking engagements were virtual. And then when things finally lifted, I had my first in-person speaking engagement and I prepped for it. I was ready for it. I went, I did it. I had a couple of people come up to me.
It was a small group. I had a couple of people come up to me afterward and then I went home and I emailed them a thank you and also said, please let me know of any feedback, positive or constructive, love to hear. I didn't hear anything, and I didn't hear anything, and I didn't hear anything, and I didn't hear anything.
And I immediately went to, they hated it. I wasn't good. Okay, they are not sure what to say to me.
And I told myself all these negative stories. They finally wrote me. I think it was two weeks later. But granted this was a retailer and they were entering their holiday season. It was the busiest time of year for them.
And I'd heard all that, the start of, before I talked, they shared everything that was going on. They wrote me and they said two things like, we're so sorry we've just been busy with the holiday season. And two, we were waiting to collect feedback from the participants like we wanted to be able to give you some feedback. Then they gave me positive feedback.
For two weeks, I had gone into this downward spiral of, they didn't like me, and I maybe I shouldn't be a speaker and all of that. So for me remember to let that stuff go and, usually, people are busy and they're not sitting there thinking about us.
We're thinking about them, but they have so many things going on. So that was one thing learning to let things go and learning just to measure my success by myself rather than, again, that external validation.
I now trust my gut more. How did that go? What could I change a bit better next time, things like that? But for me, the defining success, and I did it wrong. I didn't do it when I first started as an entrepreneur. I continue to define success by money. And when I didn't hit my money milestone in my first six months, because my money milestone was ridiculous, I felt like a bit of a failure.
And then it was that cycle of I guess I got to go back to the corporate world. But then I remembered, okay, why did I leave the corporate world? Okay. It was to walk my kids to and from school, to be a more present mom, to work fewer hours, and to help other people feel more energy and joy in their lives.
To be able to choose my clients. To be less angry, to be more present, all of these things. And that is what I had to do. How I had to redefine success was I had to then look at all of these things and write that definition encompassing everything because it's not just about the money?
And I have to, that was a really hard one for me as I had to learn to let go of that, yes, money is a component of it, but it's not the only measure.
[00:28:07] Aneta: Right. It's so good that you said that too. And we do, sometimes we just go back to old behaviors and old patterns because we've been doing it for so long. It starts from the time we're young with school and it just kind of goes right into the work environment and the same way it's all about productivity and achievements and all of that. So who did you write this book for? Who did you write Breaking Free for?
[00:28:30] Shannon: So I know we've used the word a couple of times today, but. I wrote this book for anyone who feels stuck right now. If you feel stuck in your career, if you feel stuck in your life, if perhaps you're holding yourself back, you're putting those expectations, those shoulds on your shoulders of who you should be or how you should act there's benefit for you in this book and anyone just looking to live a more authentic and meaningful life. Whoever that may be, this book will help you. It has inspiring stories of myself and other incredible women in it. And then as well as actual practical step-by-step exercises that you can do to break free.
[00:29:07] Aneta: Absolutely. And so what is the symbolism of the birds?
[00:29:12] Shannon: So when I first started a vision board and everything, there was this picture of this beautiful sunrise and birds flying. And when I started my book process, I had a different title and it was Unleash Your Inner Tiger. Which was interesting, but it also wasn't me. Tigers are not me. I'm bold, but not in an outwardly big way.
But I let somebody else influence me and kind of convinced me of that title and that image. But for me, I just have always loved the sights of birds at times when I feel stuck in my life and I live downtown Toronto. A hawk will all of a sudden appear outside my window or in the town I grew up in. A beautiful owl will be sitting there, a bald eagle.
And I've just always found birds show up in moments where it's kind of like, I needed a little bit of hope or inspiration. And that vision of the birds flying just to me symbolizes breaking free. Don't let anyone hold you back or chain you down. Go be you go do what feels right. And you will feel happier in your life.
And it's also, my first tattoo that I got that yes, the birds flying on my wrist. and I had always told myself I couldn't be in corporate and have a tattoo. And this is my only tattoo Yeah. and got the tattoo of the birds.
[00:30:33] Aneta: Yeah. I love that little rebellion. Shannon, how can people find you if they want to work with you? They want to engage with you. We'll include the links to everything in the show notes, especially the book as well, which I encourage everyone to get this book. Book because there's so much good stuff here.
Breaking free, stop holding back, and start being you, your guide to creating the career and life of your dreams. I did read the entire thing and there are just so many good things that were reminders for me and exercises that I love, but how can we best support you? Where can we find you?
We'll
[00:31:06] Shannon: Sure. you can find me at shannontalbot.com where you can see all my services. I also offer a weekly email newsletter that I send out on Sunday evenings. That's free. You can find me. I do a lot of my posting on LinkedIn. So Shannon Talbot on LinkedIn and Instagram, Shannon Talbot underscores coaching.
[00:31:25] Aneta: Beautiful we will include all of those links. And the final question that I have for you is what does it mean to you to live the width of your life?
[00:31:34] Shannon: It's to really, let yourself dream. What did you dream of as a kid or as you were growing up? What were those dreams you told yourself were too silly or you don't know how they could ever come true? Let yourself go there. That's what I did.
What I'm doing now is what I dreamt of doing in high school I told myself couldn't be a real career. And I'm doing it. So don't wait for retirement. Don't wait for your kids to get older. Just go, take your life by the reins, and go after what you want to live a more meaningful and authentic life.
And don't let anyone tell you it can't be done or that's silly.
[00:32:14] Aneta: Beautiful. Thank you so much, Shannon, for the great work you're doing in the world for this book that you have created. And I enjoyed our time together. Thank you so much.
[00:32:24] Shannon: Thanks so much for having me Aneta it was awesome to be here.
[00:32:27] Aneta: Thank you for listening to today's episode. If today's conversation inspired you to dream again, break out of your comfort zones, or reflect on what it means to you to live more fully, then please follow this podcast because every week you'll hear more stories from people just like you who took imperfect action towards their goals, created more joy and are living the life that they always dreamt of living.