[00:00:00] Teresa: I would love to say that there is a magic hack, or a trick, or a tip that I can tell you that is going to make you a millionaire tomorrow.
But it's not it takes work and I am there to hold their hand every step of the way, but they have got to do the work. So I think anybody thinking this is the next secret weapon, we need to rethink that because there isn't one. I wish there was. And believe me, I've done all the courses.
[00:00:22] Aneta: We often hear people wishing us a long, happy, and healthy life, but what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breadth depth, and purpose of each day that matters most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian Kuzma and join me weekly as I interview guests who made changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention. Gratitude and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.
Are you ready to make 2024 the best year ever? If you want 2024 to be the year that you live fully, boldly, and more passionately, then I'd love for you to be part of my 12-week group coaching program called Live The With. I have taken the best benefits from my one-on-one coaching programs and added them to a group program.
It is going to be a 12-week program in which we have daily meditation, and weekly breath work, and twice a month we are going to have very specific content in a group coaching format. If you are ready to finally manifest the life of your dreams, to become a magnet for the blessings that you are seeking to reduce stress and burnout and create optimal health, to learn to stop listening to the limiting beliefs doubts, and fears that are holding you back and finally create The habits and routines that allow you to take daily aligned, inspired action towards the life of your dreams.
Then I'd love for you to apply for this program. You can get all the details at anetakuzma.Com backslash live the with. There is an opportunity for you to apply to be a part of the program. We'll schedule a quick call with me. And if this sounds like you are an energetic match, I'd love for you to be a part of this program.
If you have any questions, feel free to reach out and I look forward to hearing from you.
Welcome back to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My guest this week is Teresa Heath Wareing and she's an online business marketing and mindset strategic coach who works with business owners from across the world helping them to build a business and life that they love. She has an online membership, which is called the Dream Business Growth Path, which enables overwhelmed business owners to balance their lives while building a business that they love.
She also has a podcast. She is an award-winning speaker. TEDx speaker has interviewed so many amazing people, and she's often recognized alongside some of the world's digital marketing thought leaders and wildly regarded as one of the UK's leading marketing influencers. We had such an amazing time talking about how she started her business, why she chose to leave her corporate job, start her business, the bumps in the road along the way, what it was like to start a business as a single mom going through a divorce and
She shifted her business to one that allows her to feel great about serving, which is so important to her, and helping others grow their businesses, but also does it in a way that doesn't lead to overwhelming and burnout. I enjoyed our conversation. She is so delightful and I think you're going to enjoy it too. Take a listen.
[00:03:40] Aneta: Teresa, thank you so much for joining me today. I'm so excited to have you with me.
[00:03:46] Teresa: My pleasure. I am very much looking forward to our conversation.
[00:03:50] Aneta: Tell everyone where you are calling in from because you are not here in Cleveland, Ohio with me.
[00:03:56] Teresa: No, definitely not. So I am in Shropshire, which is kind of in the middle of England.
So as we're recording this, you just showed me that you have lots of beautiful snow. And it's very wet, which is very unsurprising for the UK.
[00:04:12] Aneta: Yes, it's our first big snowfall today would if my kids were young, they'd be having a snow day, but it is kind of beautiful on the inside to look out.
And so for those that aren't as familiar with you, I would love for you to talk a little bit about your journey and talk about some of the things that you're working on.
[00:04:33] Teresa: So, My journey, I joke, was not necessarily the one that I thought I was going to take or end up in the place I was going to end up.
I have worked in marketing for, well, before starting my own business for 10 years. I've got a degree in it, I loved it, and I was a great employee. I used to joke that I like being patted on the head and told, you've done a good job. So, I never thought about having my own business ever. I'm not one of those people that, how some people were children and they like to set up a stall to sell things.
No, not me. It wasn't me. And I joke a bit, but basically, I had what I can only describe as an early midlife crisis. And I decided after my ex-husband and I had separated, I was a single parent to a four-year-old girl. And I thought to myself, although I love my job, it wasn't necessarily the happiest place for me.
And I thought I think it's time for a change. So I decided to have my notice in and give them eight weeks’ notice where I could find another job. I was very good at what I did. Like I said, I've done marketing for years, and got a degree in it, forgetting that I was in the middle of Shropshire in England, which is fairly rural and there aren't massive businesses.
So I ended up about three or four weeks into my notice, nothing happening, no job coming for. I was on quite good money. So no one could match it. And I had this thought in my head what if I could do this for myself? I just bought in this marketing agency, like a hundred grand in the year. What if I could bring in that money for me?
So it was like the thought entered my head and then my boss kind of telepathically found out and immediately told me to leave. So I had one month's notice of salary, no more money after that one month's salary, no savings, no partner, no rich parents had parents who weren't rich. So no other money coming in.
And I had to pay for the mortgage, the car, and the childcare, I had to bring in 1500 pounds a month before we at. And I had to do that from day one. And I decided that I would start my business as a consultant and then we moved to a done for you, as in, we would do social media for you, I'd write your emails, we would do your emails, I might do edits on a website, basically anything marketing, and I worked my backside off and I hustled.
Somehow managed to make it work and still keep the roof over my daughter's head. And I got about a year and a half, two years in, and realized I created something I hated. I'd created this business where. I had just got one boss. I've got like 15 of them and as soon as I said, I'm starting my own business, well, everybody thought I was mad, quite honestly, and immediately, because I didn't know any business owners.
I knew people who were employed. And then when I did find business owners, they kind of gave me this impression that when you have your own business and especially as a single parent, well, it's fine. I can do the school run. I can manage my own time. I can take the holidays off. That just wasn't the case at all.
I'd got all these clients wanting me and expecting me to be there when they phoned me at 7 PM on a Friday as I was trying to put my daughter to bed and I just thought. I like doing the stuff, but I just don't want all these clients. And I started to find the online world, this magical world where you can earn money while you sleep and work from the beach anytime you'll be a millionaire.
And I thought I wanted some of that. I'd like a bit of this online world. And I started to create an online business. I started to get picked up for speaking. I started a podcast. I did all the things. And about another year later, I fired my clients and I went full-time in the online business. And I was going to say, never looked back in one way.
No, I haven't. In another way, sometimes that money that came in from all those clients was welcomed. It's not been easy, but I love my online business.
[00:08:40] Aneta: Well, first of all, you said so much there that I want to just take a moment to recognize because I can't even imagine what it was like when you had the thought. So the thought came from somewhere, a download, maybe I could do this, but it's very different than to have to do it immediately and figure it all out. And as you said, you had a daughter, you weren't doing this just for yourself. You had all of these extra pressures. So what did that do to your nervous system? First of all, and then how long did it take for you to go, okay, let's get over this, and let's just start taking some action. And as you said, working your backside off to get the clients.
[00:09:20] Teresa: So do you know what I think for me, if I hadn't been put in that position, I'd have never done it, ever. And like I said, at that point, she started to get just the slight inkling that I might start my own business. She said, leave.
And then I had no choice. So then it was like, okay, you were looking over the edge, debating whether you wanted to jump. And she just went over you go. Because I had no choice at that point. The money was going to stop coming in. And what's interesting when I think of those early days, I can't remember them very well.
And I think I was on such an adrenaline drive like I was head down, I need to earn money, just get money through the door. So when people go, well, how did you make it? How were you successful? Because we hit six figures relatively quickly, but I don't remember because I was just in it doing It.
And I do remember thinking this is the hardest thing and what the hell was I thinking? But I think that took, I think probably it's like the year and a half kicked in. That's almost at the point where I started to slow and then I think that's what made me go, actually, do I like this?
Or is this working for me? Because I wasn't being able to do the school run. I was the parent who would run in the morning, throw her through the door, and then barge past all the other parents because I had somewhere to be and I had to do stuff. Like I was the last one picking her up.
It was exhausting. I was exhausted all the time and when I was with her, I felt like I was terrible at the business. When I was with the business. I felt like I was terrible with her. And I just think it was probably almost a good job. I didn't stop and think about it.
And I just have to get on with it. Because I think having to stop and face that, I'd have been like, this is the most miserable thing I've ever done. It would have been so hard, but thank goodness. As I started to slow down, I started to see that there were other opportunities and other places where I could go and do things.
[00:11:17] Aneta: Yeah. Also, do you feel like you had to go through what you did in starting your own business first before being able to move into the online space? Like was that the bridge that you sort of had to cross?
[00:11:30] Teresa: Yes. I feel that I'd already worked with a ton of different businesses, like the stuff I'd marketed it's just ridiculous. From telescopic slides to process chicken, to beauty products, I've done it all. And I think the credibility of AI could manage my own business. I don't think I'd have trusted myself to make the online business work if I hadn't already done a business.
Also, the speed at which I could make money through clients was way faster than I've ever made money through online business. Because the online business relies on you having an audience. And that's what I was doing. And I think to jump straight into that, I don't think it's not that it's not possible. Yeah, absolutely. Someone could start a business tomorrow and be in the online world.
You've just got to be crazy realistic about how much you are going to be able to achieve and how much income you're going to be able to bring in. I wish I had a me when I started. I wish that like someone, I never sat down and thought, what are my goals for this business? Or what do I dream of? Or doing any of the mindset stuff I now do.
But that's what's so lovely about when I work with people and one of the first questions I ask them, especially if they're coming to me early in their business is, do you need to pay the mortgage? Or do you have some breathing space? Because those two things give me very different answers for them.
Like, if they just need to make money, then we need to make money. And we might have to pause on that thing while we make money over here. But if they don't, then great, let's spend time building up your audience, doing all the good things, and getting you to there. So I feel like I don't think I'd have even got here if I hadn't done what I did first.
[00:13:15] Aneta: And so tell me how you have this moment where you pause and sometimes I think we were so tired and we finally move from that fight or flight or freeze into a moment of clarity where you're like, well, wait a second. What am I doing? Do I like this? Why am I doing this?
We started asking this question. So when you decide, okay, I'm going to make a shift because I want this like beautiful online business vision and image that we all love working from the beach. So how did you decide that you were going to build this business differently?
[00:13:44] Teresa: Yes, I think this was the point where I discovered coaches and working with people and working on myself. So I joke and it actually, it's on my coaching page. When you look at my coaching page, it says, I thought coaches were full of, that's what it says, because I did, because when I started my business and before, when I was employed, the only coaches that I knew were middle-aged men in suits who could not relate to me.
They couldn't even understand my business structure, let alone me as a person, as a parent, as a woman, as any of those things. So I had been very much like, no, don't get it. Don't understand why you'd have a coach. Don't know what a coach is. Early on, as soon as I started my business, I started to learn about social media, which is kind of laughable given that I was a marketer and I knew social media.
But I was so concerned that I needed to be the best I could be. So that's how I discovered the online world. I was doing webinars in Mari Smith, literally nine years ago, and learning that way. And then through that world started to find these people who inspired me and I aspire to be like, and also find coaches and things.
So I think at that point, the shift, it was almost like it all kind of lined up. It was like the point in which I was ready to slow down and think was the point in which I'd discovered the online world, which is the point in which I discovered what working for a coach could do or what coaches looked like in my world.
So all of this kind of happened. I guess simultaneously, and it was working with a coach that allowed me to slow down and be like, no, this is not okay. And just because I've been given an opportunity does not mean that that's the right opportunity for me. I remember working with her and I had been asked to speak on behalf of Google at the European Union.
[00:15:48] Aneta: How did you get that? How did that happen?
[00:15:52] Teresa: Madness found by someone, by somewhere, but I turned it down. You would think I was crazy. This company worked on behalf of Google and it was their job to bring in speakers. So I had gone in and had a conversation and told them, this is what I speak on.
This is my zoner genius. They had then gone, yeah, but we want you to talk on this. So they changed my talk to a subject matter area that I was not an expert in. Then things like they were booking my travel and I was going obviously to Brussels to the European Parliament and whatever there and they booked me an awful journey that was going to take me like 20 something hours, which I totally shouldn't.
And then they put me into an Airbnb and I was like a woman on my own. And I did feel a bit like, I think I'd rather be in a hotel and there were just all these wrong things, and I got on this on my coaching call with my coach and she was like, why did you say yes? And I was like, well, because it's this it's because like, how amazing is this?
And this is where we start to work on me as a person and the feeling in my gut and what my body was telling me. And I started to listen and I was like, I do not want to do this. And she then gave me the courage to put together an email to say, thank you, but I'm afraid I can't do this.
And the relief that set in. And I think suddenly I started to realize this is my choice. I get to decide this is my business. And actually, I don't have to create a business I don't like. I can work with people I want to work with. I can do those things. I've got to have some level of expectations. Like, unfortunately, I'm still not working from the beach and money does not rain in as I sleep.
Occasionally an odd sale will come in while I'm sleeping, but not very often. But I still created something I love and I never wake up thinking I don't want to do this. And I adore every minute of it, but I think if I hadn't gone through that if I hadn't found, and I think even finding the type of coach I worked with, that it wasn't a strategic business coach.
It was very much an embodiment, empowerment, alignment coach who made me look inside me and go, yeah, now I need to change that.
[00:18:01] Aneta: I wish I'd learned that. When I was younger and the thing is, we all have that intuition if we listen which we often sometimes don't because the thinking mind tries to convince us, will see you and I mean, and they're flying me out and I get to stay wherever, but if you listen, you just go. Wait, this doesn't feel right. This doesn't feel right at all. How amazing that you felt the relief right away. Like you had the validation.
So as you were working with your coach, you started your own business and I want to talk about all the things that you're doing, but you have an online group called the Dream Business Growth Plan. Is that correct? Your community tells us a little bit more about that.
[00:18:40] Teresa: Yeah. So we call it the club for sure. It's easier. So I have a membership, but it has two levels in it. So I wanted to create somewhere where my memberships are kind of to a penny. Okay. There are lots of memberships and I wanted to create something a little bit different.
So obviously I come from a strategic marketing background and I've now had my business for almost 10 years. So I have done a lot of stuff within my own business. I created a membership first off to do that so that they could come in and I could teach them how to create a brilliant sales page. I could talk about how to do a webinar.
I could tell them how to build their email list what emails they should send and how to do social media. All of that good stuff. And then as time, I've had my membership now for four years and as time ticked on, I started adding more of the business stuff. And then last year I did a coaching qualification because I realized that so much of what I was doing was tipping into coaching as well as strategic stuff because it's all well and good me telling you the best systems, tools, approach, strategy to use.
And I know it's going to be effective. If you are not in the right place or the right mindset, you don't have the confidence, you've got limiting beliefs, you've got imposter syndrome, and you are self-sabotaging. For me, they need to come hand in hand. So I need to be able to go, this is what you could do, or what I think will work for you, but I'm saying this based on the knowledge of who you are, how you work.
So for me, the club is a super safe space. Like I joke, but I'm serious. I'd attract the nicest people. And so such a beautiful space where there's no ego. No people are being like, yeah, but I did this launch. Like if someone does something amazing, we cheer and we holler from the rooftops.
But also someone can come in and go. That completely flunked and I'm so sad about it and we can all go. Okay, that's fine. What we're going to do next. So for me, it's almost a version of group coaching, but I know these people well. And then when I need to, all the courses are there, all the strategies.
And then I have another level called the executive club. And that is just for people who want more. So they want them. More accountability, more action-taking, more coaching. And those people, like I could tell you the names of their children. I could tell you all the stuff. And I know from them how they want to work.
So I know when I need to give them a carrot or when I need to give them a stick, I know how to motivate them. So for me, I'd gone into the online space in these big, massive memberships and these massive courses and these things where you are one of a thousand and it took me a while to discover it because I was trying to replicate the same.
I was like, right, I'm going to have a thousand people in it and they're all going to pay 49 and I'm going to be rich. And then I realized. I don't like that. And I don't work that way. And I have a saying that I stole from my coach and she knows it. Which is I see you, I hear you, you matter.
And for me, that is so important. There is so much advice out there in the world. There are so many things that they can do being a business owner. So many ways they can market themselves. So many systems they could use the latest, this, that, and everything else but I want to be that link between here's a good strategy, but actually, this good strategy works for you or you would fit well with this, or your business would fit well, or your clients will fit well with this, rather than just going blanket thing, everybody does this, because that doesn't work.
And I think. My job in the club and the executive club is to empower them to eventually not need me, which makes me sad because I always want them in my world, but I want to empower them to go. I am so confident and sure about what I'm doing because I've understood me and I've understood what I love and I've understood my clients that
I don't have to listen to the noise and there is a lot of noise in the online space if you're not successful. If you haven't done a seven-figure launch, you're not successful. If you're not getting a thousand people a week on your email list, it's just not true. Just not true.
[00:22:53] Aneta: I love so much what you said about that. And I do think that there are going to be more and more people who want to be, in a smaller container and they want to be in live group settings for a bit, there was this push to do these recorded, evergreen programs, and then you're just going to make money while you sleep. And I remember talking to a coach once and I said, but.
I don't like those courses. I don't want to be on my own. It's already lonely enough as it is. Working by yourself. You want to be a part of a community and you want to be able to see the person that you're interacting with energetically. You want the connection. And so I don't know if people are ever going to leave you, Teresa, because I think that over time, the community shifts.
And maybe the needs change, but that sense of community and trust and being able to inspire one another, that's the thing that I think people are seeking right now and it's different than being in a corporate environment where sometimes maybe there's a distrust and you don't know if you can be fully vulnerable.
I'm in a mastermind and it's beautiful because we also are fairly small and it feels so intimate, but it also feels so like trusting. It's such a safe space. So what are some of the things that you've done that you think have helped foster that?
[00:24:11] Teresa: So I think one thing I try and be is very vulnerable and honest myself. Now, my job in both the club and exec club is to lead motivate support, and challenge. However, I think where I can show my vulnerability and the reality of running a business, I do so that they're not alone so that they understand that they can talk about these things. I think one thing that I try and do, and again, I don't know.
I don't have massive numbers and I've now considerably increased the price. It's 220 a month compared to most memberships in the UK, which are about 40 odd dollars. And the reason I've done that is because I don't want those massive numbers. After all, I can't do what I need to do. So for me, it's about getting to know them.
So when someone comes onto a coaching call, when someone first comes into the group, I go and follow them on social media. I go and look at their website. I have a conversation with them and I will make a point of asking them questions. So when they ask, it's never a case of like, I tried doing a Q and a for a while where I was just live and they post questions in there and it just didn't work for me.
Because if you were to say to me, even something as simple as like, should I do reels on Instagram? It's like, but you know what? I need to ask you a load of questions. Like, are you even on social media? Who's your customer? If I don't understand those things, I can't give you the right advice.
And like I said, there is too much sweeping, everyone should do this, or this is the way forward, or this is how successful this is and someone said to me today, the same thing. I've had a full day of calls and in one of the calls I had they were talking about how popular like 9 or 7 products are and how people are doing low-cost things, but getting thousands of people in there and they're like, you should do that.
And I went, no, because I am not cheap. You can't get me for cheap because there's a really good reason. Because I work so hard with the people I work with and I put so much in. I can't do that for that amount of money and I wouldn't want to because the bit that I love, the bit that lights me up is knowing someone and being able to give them advice that is directly tailored to them.
The other thing that we do, I think them seeing other people vulnerable helps me ask vulnerable questions, and I always say to them, if you don't want to answer this question, then you don't answer it. I'm not going to force someone to share something that they don't want to. Also, the fact that we do mindset sessions.
So once a month, I do a session, and it might be about boundaries. It might be about the wheel of life or imposter syndrome, and it's always workshopping and I get them to share with me. And sometimes, like I said, they're sharing personal stuff. I did an in-person event last week and we did vision boards.
But I showed my vision board, which had some very personal stuff on there. So that's one of the things in the executive club because the executive club is more hands-on in terms of I am in a telegram group with them. I see them every other week for a coaching call. And I do know them inside and out.
We don't record those calls. We started off recording them because obviously if you couldn't make the live call, you might want to watch the recording. But then I realized if they're going to be completely vulnerable and open and able to share, which I need them to do if I'm going to help them, then they can't be worrying that six months down the line, someone new might have joined that they would rather not see them getting vulnerable on a coaching call.
And the chances of someone going back and watching them all are very slim, but it was just that kind of extra layer of even though we're online, what is happening in the room is staying in the room. We're not taking it anywhere else.
[00:27:54] Aneta: I love that. How big is your club right now in the different groups?
[00:27:58] Teresa: So in the main club, there's about 40. So I had more than that. And I made a business decision. So I started my club when it was 29 a month. Over four years, it's gone from 29 39 49 to 59 to 97 to 222. And I realized that some of the people who I adored, who came in right at the beginning, this wasn't the right place for them anymore because I had shifted and changed so much, the new people coming in. So I made the decision, which isn't one that's often made for online businesses.
And instead of leaving the grandfather thing, I said, I am cutting off if you pay under X amount, your price is going to go up. And if you don't want it to go up, then unfortunately you're going to have to leave. And I'm devastated. But again, I tried to do that in a very authentic way.
I got a call from them. I had conversations with them. I told them my reasoning behind it. So I halved my membership overnight, which was a scary thing to do, however, It was the right thing to do. So yeah, I've got about 40 odd people in there and then I've got 17 in the executive club and then I also do one-to-one stuff.
[00:29:08] Aneta: Yeah, no, I love that. And you have to take those aligned actions when something shifts and you recognize it and the actions that you take and the price will pull in the right people. And even though it feels so painful sometimes, we love people so much for the greater good of all. it is important to make sure that you've got the right people in that mix.
And so that's fantastic. So tell me do you have an ideal client or a couple of characteristics of some of the people in case someone's listening and they want to self-identify for these groups?
[00:29:38] Teresa: So I tend to work with. And this is them picking themselves. I tend to work with women. I only have one male in the club just because I don't track a lot of males. And I work with people who know they want more, know there is more, but they're not quite sure how to get it. And also start to understand the difference between just blindly following a strategy or buying a course or whatever, and understanding themselves more.
And like I said, it's a vulnerable thing to do. I'm not just saying to someone, come along and I'll teach Facebook ads. I mean, we've got courses on that, but I'm saying, come along and start to learn a bit about yourself. And people who are at that stage to goal set people at that stage to be accountable.
So we do quarterly goal setting in there. So they have to put their goals in and they have to tell me what they're going to do. And I think it's almost that point between. You don't want to pay for a coach and some of the coaches that I've worked with, they are not cheap, they're a big investment and you're not ready to make that huge investment and you like the group thing, but I think in terms of we don't have any particular niche.
I do a lot in the online space because that is my bread and butter and I have a new group program coming out soon-ish when I finalize it all for that. But I have people who have their bricks and mortar shop with fabrics who are coaches, nutritionists, I have people who do social media for people, I have tax tutors, I have copywriters, I have like, everybody and anybody.
I have people who do reiki and some more holistic therapies, and I love that about that. I love the fact that one, my brain has to work super quick to move from one industry to another, which I like, but also what's lovely is that they all buy from each other, which I just think is a byproduct, which I never planned.
But because we've created this really lovely, safe space and supportive and genuine. Like, everybody wants everybody to be good and do well. They like to buy from each other. And they have to want to do the work. I would love to say that there is a magic hack, or a trick, or a tip that I can tell you that is going to make you a millionaire tomorrow.
But it's not it takes work and I am there to hold their hand every step of the way, but they have got to do the work. So I think anybody thinking this is the next secret weapon, we need to rethink that because there isn't one. I wish there was. And believe me, I've done all the courses. That's not one
[00:32:15] Aneta: I'm with you. And I think that it's in our nature sometimes to want a quick fix and to say, okay, I'm going to just do everything you tell me to do, but it doesn't work. That's not the answer necessarily. And you do have to find your community. You have to find the right group.
You have to find the right mix that works for you. And I was going to ask you if the women in your group. Started to support one another because that's such a thing that I see in these beautiful containers and communities where people want to support one another. It's such a beautiful glimpse of humanity at its best and which we need.
So I want to talk about your TED talk. Because a lot of people want to do a Ted talk. It's on my list of things to do as well. And so tell me, when did you decide you wanted to do it? Like, was this part of a longer-term plan? And then just how did it come to be?
[00:33:04] Teresa: So this is a funny one. So this was probably before I really, I say like. Since I started my business, I dabbled in things like manifesting and more spiritual side of stuff and what some people might describe as the woo. I had done a vision board, which was the first time I'd ever done a vision board right at the beginning of my business, so like nine, 10 years ago. And on that vision board, I had put places I wanted to speak and I'd put that on the vision board, but I'd given it no thought.
Like not even a second of a thought, but of course, a bit like me today, just above my camera is my vision board. And I was seeing it all the time and I was looking at it and the way it came about is so uncannily awesome. So I was meant to go to a networking thing, a local networking thing. And this was the point where I'd already got my online business.
So I did very little networking locally. I did a lot of stuff in the States and I did a lot online and I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go and sit in a room and watch someone do a talk and network and have coffee with people. But it was my friend who was running it, she'd taken over the group and she was like, could you come along?
But I had my daughter, she was off school. It was like half-term or whatever. So I contacted, and I'm so sorry, I can't, I've got my daughter. So I tried everything I could to get out of this and she's like, bring her with you. And I was like, I don't want to bring her with me. I don't want to go. Anyway, we begrudgingly went along to this networking and I've got my daughter sat next to me and I'm sat in this room and we have to do our 60-second pitch thing.
And as we're going around, there's a woman, on the other side of the room who I know, and I follow on social media cause I did start locally when I started. And she stood up, said something, Ted sat down and I was like, what did she just say? So I saw her in the break and I went, what did you say about that?
Oh yeah, we're putting on a TED event. And I was like, what? And she was like, yeah, did you not see? I've been posting everywhere. And I was like, no. And I said I want to speak. How do I speak? And I just said, make me a speaker, please. Can I be a speaker? And she was like, well, you have to apply.
And I was like, right. And she was in the deadlines tomorrow. And I was like, you are kidding me. So I came home and thought about it, and said to my husband, I want to do this thing. It's tomorrow. Started kind of thinking, because you couldn't just say, I want to apply. You had to do a video. You had to have your talk.
Almost fully flushed out, know what you were going to say, what are their takeaways, what are you going to get from it, like proper doing all the stuff. The video had to be talked about because I hadn't even got an idea of what I was going to do. Also, all of the different TEDs have themes, so their theme was not business as usual, so it had to fit in with the theme.
So I was like, okay, well, that works well, because if it's social media, then no longer the marketing degree that I did is nothing like businesses today. So I thought I'd record it tomorrow. So at the time, I was with my now husband and we went through a very tricky time. If anybody's ever taken on stepchildren and blended a family, they'll know what I'm talking about.
It is not an easy time in your life, and I had a stepdaughter who was like, in her teen, like 17, 18, life was really hard, and I can't remember what happened that day, but I know it ended up in tears. So it's like six o'clock in the evening, the deadline for it is 8 PM and I've spent most of the day crying.
The reality is running a business and dealing with home stuff. And my face is like, not great. And I'm like, I can't do this now. And it's, you'll just have to forget it. And I was talking to my husband and he's like, you know what just try just literally submit a video. If you don't get it, you don't get it like, if you're not even in it.
And I was like, fine. I hit record and did a one-hit. Like this is it. Like I'm not doing another one. I did as normal as I would act as if I was live, did the video, sent it off, and felt like I'd done the worst job in the world. And it was an immediate yes. And I was gobsmacked, like, couldn't believe that I got a yes.
And it was amazing. And I loved it. And it's like, one of the most awesome things I've ever done. And I love the fact that the count of video views still goes up every single week. It's awesome.
[00:37:38] Aneta: What is the title of your
TED Talk?
[00:37:41] Teresa: Now you're asking, I shouldn't have put that in my head! But we'll just Google it, we'll just search for it. Something like, how social media changed the face of marketing. Something like that, if I remember rightly. But yeah, and it was awesome. And the other thing that was so funny, and again, this kind of Becoming so authentic to yourself. So when I'd seen any other Ted talks, like they're very serious, they're very poised, like their energy is very under control.
Well, that's not me. Like I get on stage and I am like, there's the energy and I am animated and I am enthusiastic and I'm passionate. And I tried, we had to have lots of rehearsals, which is. I'd never had a rehearsal for a speaking gig before. I'd done lots of speaking gigs and never had to rehearse.
But we had to go to the venue several times and rehearse doing it. And the first time I went, I tried to do it like I'd seen on the internet. I tried to be a very thought leader and, posed. And do you know what I mean? And it was funny because I was talking to the other speakers.
And I didn't know the other speakers and they were getting to know each other and we were like, obviously feeling at who we were and whatever. And then I got up to do my rehearsal and I sat back down and they were like, how do you think that went? And I said, awful. And they said that's not you.
You've got such a personality and I just didn't see it. And they said, what would you normally do? And I said, quite honestly, I wing it a lot of the time, or what I do, because can't learn things verbatim because if I was to go wrong, I mess up my entire talk. I would just have a slide and I still do it to this day where I roughly know what I'm talking about.
And then the next slide leads me to my next point and the next point. And they're like, why aren't you doing it like that? And it was funny, the organizers very much didn't move. Keep your hands still. You're talking too fast. You're doing this. You do. And I just thought, but it won't be real like that's not me.
So I just did it, how I did it. And it was funny the photographer who was there on the day, she had come to the rehearsals and she was like after I have spoken, I was the second to last. So I was there and it's a whole day thing. I think there were like 16 speakers and I was the second to last speaker.
And she was like, I saw you rehearse and I've seen you speak for, and I know you have all the energy to give. She goes, but I swear to goodness, you lifted the roof, like physically the energy. But do you know what? It took me three days to come down three days. My energy to get like, well, it hit the deck. So it took me three days, to hit the deck. I was exhausted and then gave me a day or two. And then I evened out because my adrenaline must've been crazy.
[00:40:22] Aneta: Yeah. Well, you were so embodied. It's almost like you're in a different space when you're able to do that. And you had so much energy. I remember watching yours. And so I can't remember, did you start your hook with a question or with a story? Usually, people pick one of the two.
[00:40:38] Teresa: Yeah, so I started, so again, when they were like, I was trying to start in a very like meaningful way and I was thinking what normally I'd just say hi, like I would just go into thanks so much having me and whatever. And I thought, but I can't do that.
And then when I was looking, Mel Robbins started her Ted with Hello Ted, San Francisco, whatever she said. I thought, well, if she could do it, I can do it. So that's how I started. I was like, hello, TEDx. I'm so excited to be here. And then I talked about, well, one, it was done at the university I had attended, so that was awesome.
And two, it was on my vision board. So I started by saying this was on my vision board since I had one. And I'm so excited to be here. And then I got into the talk. So I did it as authentically as I would do any other talk that I've done.
[00:41:30] Aneta: And it's so funny because having watched that before you and I met and we're talking today, you are that person, but your energy was so through the roof because it's condensed, you have to hold everyone's attention.
You have to kind of keep them engaged. And there's like a whole Ted formula to it for anyone who wants to look into it. And I remembered, and I was going to ask you, I wrote a note about asking about the vision board because I too, my vision board is right in front of me. I have like a little credenza there and I do a new one each year and doing a TED talk is online as well.
And so it's just one of those things that people say, it's time seems so woo. And I always say. A vision board is you being able to identify what your vision is for your life, choosing images or words that reinforce that and hold that vision for you every single day when you look at it. And then of course you start taking aligned action towards that.
And so it does not woo, it's actually, pretty much like how we do life and make sure that it's pretty intentional. It's like having an intentionality in your life. And I love this merriment that you're doing with your business, being able to bring that into people, creating businesses that they love.
And I know one of your missions was creating this sense of balance. And so can you talk a little bit about your intention for what you hope for all of your clients with your programs?
[00:42:54] Teresa: So one of the things I talk about is their season of life. And I think one of the problems that historically very male-led experts and leaders have not focused on it is people's seasons of life. So for instance, the book like Miracle Morning or the 5 a.m. club, that's awesome. I'm guessing they don't have young children who keep them up at night or I'm guessing that whatever this life situation they didn't have.
And I think for me, it's giving my members the understanding and the permission to live fully in the moment they are in. So I have members who have young children and do effectively what would be classed as part-time hours, but effectively what would have been a full-time wage. And that is perfect for them right now.
And by all means, when their children are growing up when they're no longer doing the school run, when things change, they will change their business to meet their needs. Also in things like I had one member whose husband was close to retiring, and although she loved her business and wanted to continue the format that she designed no longer fit with the fact that she and her husband wanted to just be able to get off and go whenever they wanted.
So we redesigned how that looked. So for me, it's about putting you at the center of everything and understanding what's important to you. So you could create. And I created a business that didn't fit with me in my season of life. I was a single parent to a four-year-old. She was little, like that was hard, so hard.
And I didn't have any sympathy or empathy for the fact that I was having to do that while running a business and then when I went into my online business again, I looked at everyone else going, well, I must be doing this. And if I'm not doing this, I'm not successful. Well, those people that I was looking at, they weren't looking after what should have been six by then, a six-year-old. They weren't starting a new relationship with a new partner and moving in and blending families.
So I think for me, it's having that empathy and that understanding that one, you have a season of life and you might be in one today that you are not in three weeks or three months or three years, knowing that shifts and changes all the time. Even one interesting thing is my daughter's now 14 which is terrifying.
But she's 14. She lives predominantly now with her dad because of where she goes to school. So I only ever see her every other weekend, which is a whole nother challenge in itself, but there we go. And therefore my season of life, when it comes to my daughter, my stepson's 20 odd, he deals with himself.
So I don't have young children now to worry about, but I've been doing a ton of work this year on me. And because I've had to do some pretty huge things. Around me and my health. I've not had the busiest or best year that I've ever had, but that's fine because I needed to spend that time doing that.
So I'm not annoyed or frustrated or angry at myself. I have a great understanding now as to why it was the way it was, and that's the way it needed to be, and I think people think it's about this, work-life balance thing that is never going to be like either a 50-50 or a 20 80 that is going to change over the time and you just kind of have to be flexible and move with that.
And like I said, have huge empathy and understanding for yourself that one, if your life looks a certain way now, it doesn't mean it's always going to look that way. If your business has to do something to fit in around it. Then that's fine. That might change. And when it does, then you can review it again.
And also when people are like, you should put your prices up or you should do this. No, you don't have to. You get to decide. It's your business. I can help you and advise you based on what you want, but ultimately you make the decision and you're the one who's got to do it.
You're the one who doesn't do the school run. You're the one who doesn't put your kids to bed if you're sitting working late. And you're the only one who can decide about that. So I think that's where, for me, it's one of the most important things that I do.
[00:46:57] Aneta: I love that so much. I love this idea of permitting others to redefine what success means to them, what a successful integrated balanced life, whatever the words are, but doing it for ourselves too.
And saying, I chose to do this today with intention, and that in and of itself is a success, And it's not always just the same societal measuring stick that we had grown accustomed to using. So a couple of fun questions for you. Is there a closed door as you look back on your business or your life that you now recognize was like the biggest blessing instead, because sometimes we say, we failed, or maybe, I wish that we try to force or resist when something doesn't want to necessarily open for us. I don't know if there's one that comes to mind.
[00:47:47] Teresa: So when I first started, one of the things that I started focusing on was because we did social media for people in the agency when I had the agency and I started going down that route and content creation and helping people with that side.
And that wasn't me and it never quite took off and it never quite happened. And I remember thinking at the time I was so frustrated like it was this really good course about how to do content creation for your business and that I think was a blessing because then I started to look at other things and go this isn't sitting right.
This isn't aligning right. And again, the changes I've made in the club, the cost that it is, the numbers that I have, there would have been a few years ago where I've been embarrassed to say I've got 40 people in there, but I'm not because I know that's the kind of service I want to give. And that's why they pay the money they're paying.
And therefore that's the right thing and trying to do it the way other people did just didn't work for me. So yeah, there's always a good reason, isn't there?
[00:48:44] Aneta: There sure is. So for those who would love to work with you, tell us the best way to find you where people can learn more about you and also your services.
[00:48:54] Teresa: So you can go and check out Teresa Heath Wearing dot com. Everything is there. Luckily the name I have means you can Google me and you find me with ease. Come and find me on Instagram, drop me a DM, and start a conversation. I would love to chat with you.
[00:49:08] Aneta: Sounds so good. And the final question I ask all my guests, Teresa, is what does it mean for you to live the width of your life?
[00:49:16] Teresa: I have spent a long time through various ways, numbing my life, numbing the bad along with the good, because you can't choose which parts you numb when you just numb them. And this year I have worked very hard on learning how to run numb and not go to some of those default strategies that were very destructive but very helpful because they helped me numb away.
And I am starting to feel after working on this for almost an entire year the blessing of being fully present all the time. And experiencing all of it, whether it's good, bad, ugly, amazing, wonderful, whatever it is. For me, it's just experiencing it. It's just not trying to shy away from it, not trying to hide.
And Almost not caring. I care deeply about lots of things, but not being concerned with other people who may not support me agree with me, or be in my world. So, yeah, I feel like it's funny, you should ask this question at this point because I feel like this year has been an incredibly huge turning point for me.
Where I feel fully alive and awake in my life and business and every day and I don't disappear out of it. Sometimes I'd still like to, but I don't. And it feels like I'm in it. I'm doing it all.
[00:50:47] Aneta: Thank you for joining me today and thanks for sharing so generously of all of the ways that you've built the business that you love, this life that you love for serving so many. I'll include all of the details in the show notes and look forward to continued conversations with you in the future.
[00:51:02] Teresa: Thank you so much for having me.
[00:51:04] Aneta: Thank you for listening to today's episode. If today's conversation inspired you to dream again, break out of your comfort zones, or reflect on what it means to you to live more fully, then please follow this podcast because every week you'll hear more stories from people just like you who took imperfect action towards their goals, created more joy and are living the life that they always dreamt of living.