Episode 7 transcript: How to learn to love yourself and feel amazing in your skin with Sam Bilby

 Episode 7: How to learn to love yourself and feel amazing in your skin with Sam Bilby

Podcast Introduction

We often hear people wishing us a long, happy, and healthy life. But what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breath, depth, and purpose of each day that matters most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian kuzma. Join me weekly as I interview guests who make changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention, gratitude, and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.

Guest Bio

Today's guest is Samantha Bilby. Sam is a body-positive personal trainer who helps women feel their best without dieting. She is the owner of Bloom Flourish Fitness where she provides 15-minute home workouts for busy women. She is a self-proclaimed Disney addict and has recently moved from New Jersey to Florida with her husband and two cats to be closer to Mickey Mouse. Her ultimate goal is to help women feel amazing in their skin and have the confidence to live a life wilder than their wildest dreams. Welcome, Sam.

Aneta: Hi! Sam thank you so much for joining us today. It's so nice to have you on the show.

Samantha: Hi, Thank you for having me.

00:10.93

Aneta: I feel like I see you more often just being part of your Bff community. It's so nice to be able to have you on the podcast as well.

Samantha: Yes, it's the same here, and I feel like I hear you all the time with the meditations I do each morning. So, it's the same here.

00:24.43

Aneta: Awesome! Well, I am grateful to have you here because I admire your story so much. There are a couple of big things that you did recently, First, you moved to Florida with your husband and then also the starting of your business. I would love for you to just give everyone a little bit of background about you. What you're willing to share today with people that may not know you.

Samantha: All right! So, I'll try to keep it short and simple. But as we know our lives are not short and simple. I recently, about a year and a half ago moved to Florida from New Jersey with my husband and our 2 cats. It's something that we've been wanting to do for so long.

01:05.93

Samantha: We finally just made it happen. I am a body-positive personal trainer. So, I am the owner of Bloom Flourish Fitness. It's an online fitness community where we do 15-minute at-home workouts. Though, it was a long journey to get to where I am now. I have been in the fitness world for like 10 years. I loved lifting weights and it made me feel so strong. But like most of us. When you go to the gym. You start having body goals you could start to get into. These are negative. habits like chronic yo-yo dieting deprivation and binge restriction. I kind of fell out of love with the gym at a certain point in my life and I was like well, I'm just done. I'm not dieting anymore. This isn't healthy for me. But then, I also lost my love for fitness and working out.

Samantha: One of the biggest things about working out is it's way more than just calories burned or muscles gained. It's good for your mental health. It's self-care. I wanted to get back into finding love for working out. But in a way that was a little bit more healthy for my mind. So, I started to work out for all the other reasons that I like to work out, not just a number on the scale, and then eventually I was like I want to help other women do the same thing. So, I got my certification for personal training and I decided to join BFF or Bloom Flourish Fitness for busy women. Those who want to get their workout in but their whole life isn't longer surrounded by being in the gym for 2 hours and meal planning for 2 hours a day like people who are living life and who want to love their body healthy rather than hate their body skinny.

02:46.40

Aneta: I Love that so much! So, tell me what’s your definition of body Positivity? When you say that, that's a strong mission and focus for you. How do you define that?

Samantha: So, there are so many different ways to describe it. The body-positive movement is pretty big and body positivity for me means loving our body and saying things to our body and about our body in the same way that we would to someone we love.

Samantha: Picturing a child, if a child was to come to you and say, I hate my body. You would be heartbroken if you were because they're not seeing what you're seeing. The same goes for us. We have to treat our bodies in a loving way. Now, that doesn't mean I am self-proclaimed. Anti-d (diet) but that doesn't mean that I'm anti-health. We have to take care of our one and only body that takes us through this life but restrictive and yo-yo dieting isn't the healthy way to do that.

03:44.13

Aneta: Yeah, so tell me the difference between focusing on dieting and then focusing on something. A term I hear often is called “intuitive eating “ or maybe just focusing on Health like you said, what do you think the biggest differences are?

Samantha: So, a diet it's kind of hard because the word diet really just means the foods that we eat on a regular basis. So, whether you're eating donuts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner or kale for breakfast lunch, and dinner. Both of them are a diet of some sort. But the diets that one thing is a lot of people who are providing diets for other people aren't even qualified to do so and it's like giving a restriction a prescription without being a doctor and these diets are other people telling us how to eat? a lot of the time, It's restrictive and a lot of the time, It's it just goes against. Well, all the time it goes against everything like taking out a whole certain food group. Even if you don't have intolerances to it and have such restrictions that your body starts to slow your metabolism slows. It's just so out of whack and so intuitive eating. There is a book called “Intuitive Eating” that I've read many years ago and it's an actual formula. Well, not really a formula but there are steps to it. It's like getting rid of the guilt and gentle nutrition. So, that's one way of eating but really I believe that eating before diets were even a thing was just called eating. We just ate.

Samantha: We ate what was around. We ate what was in the season. We ate what was but we could afford and like kids they eat when they're hungry. They stop when they're full. Maybe they go a little bit overboard but they choose what they like to eat. I see them all the time with my niece. She will give her the option of having ice cream or strawberries. Someday, she'll choose ice cream, other days she'll choose strawberries because she doesn't know the difference between one quote-unquote good and the other bad. So eating Intuitively is just getting back to an eating period.

05:43.52

Aneta: Yes, That's a great explanation, and for those that maybe aren't familiar with BFF, can you share with us what the community looks like? What are the different components of being part of the Bff community?

Samantha: So, the BFF community is our foundation for 15 workouts. We have a private Facebook community where we get to connect, support each other, cheer each other, and share our hard times because really, it's mostly about the community. Every day, I post a 15-minute workout brand new. We work different muscle groups: shoulders, back, biceps, and chest triceps. We like to do a little glute workout every week and we also do some fun workouts every Friday. We do a flashback Friday which is to some really fun music and we get to just be a little silly.

Samantha: Move your body in a different and fun way because the best workout is the one that you enjoy. So, if you're not having fun. If you're getting tired of it. If it's the same thing day in and day out. You're less likely to stay consistent and consistency is the key which is why we do 15-minute workouts. It's easy to get in a 15-minute workout rather than having to go to the gym for an hour workout.

06:52.60

Aneta: So, I am part of your community. I appreciate the workouts. What I love is that every day you're doing something a little bit different. What to expect? We know Wednesdays are hump days. So, it's going to be my little booty and my thighs and all that which is wonderful!

Samantha: Get daycare for the kids, pack your bag, and sit in traffic.

07:12.38

Aneta: But, a lot of times, The music is different and the exercises are different or maybe you're putting them together so it never feels like it's monotonous. I have the expectation of what to expect that day in terms of maybe my body parts but also the workout is going to be different. But, I love that you have this repository. If I really am feeling shoulders or want to do something else. I know where I can go and access it and I love that even though I get up at four-thirty in the morning. The workouts there because you already recorded it the day before. So, thank you for putting in all of that time and effort and being so thoughtful with the workouts.

Samantha: Thank you so much! Yeah, I really wanted to make sure that it was available for the early risers because honestly, many of the women who do the workouts are getting them done before I even wake up in the morning. So, I definitely have to make sure they are posted. For the people who want to wake up at 2 am for some reason and get their workout in.

08:10.13

Aneta: Yeah, no, it's fantastic! So, let's talk a little bit about the other thing that you did. You originally lived, I think, you last lived in New Jersey before you moved to Florida. Tell us about the story of how you and your husband decided that you were going to move down to Florida.

Samantha: So, my family and I are Disney addicts so we have been going to Disney since I can remember. Multiple times a year, and we were living in New York. I was born in New York so we would drive down from New York and go to Florida and go to Disney.

Samantha: I have a lot of siblings. So, a lot of the time, we didn't stay on the property. We stayed outside of the property. Crammed like 6 of us into a four-person room, and packed lunches but we always made it a habit to go to Disney.

09:07.74

Samantha: It was just where I always felt so alive and really so growing up. I always wanted to live as close to Disney as possible but I really was like oh! is that even possible? Do people really move to be close to a theme park? But also, it's sunny. There are palm trees like it's just a whole different vibe. When I started dating my husband fourteen years ago. He had never been on vacation. So about three months into our dating. My mom invited him to go to Disney with us and I was like, oh my goodness! so he came to Disney and took his first-ever vacation with us. Fell in love with it. For years, we talked about moving here but it just wasn't practical. Our families were in Jersey at that time. I had moved to Jersey which is where I met him and our families were there and it's everything that we knew.

Samantha: A year and a half ago, we had a lot of shutdowns. It was cold and it was winter and we were just like, oh! Do we want to live in winter? Is this really what we want to do? So, we decided to just go for it and we did. We originally had the plan to move in May but It was winter and we said we were moving in March because we can't stand another two months here because in Jersey it doesn't get warm until June.

10:17.15

Aneta: I know Cleveland's the same way. I admire your ability to just at a young age say what isn't working. We're going to move because you said you are close to your family. How did the family take the news that you guys were planning to move?

Samantha: So, we told my whole family and my dad had always said that he wanted to be a snowbird. He wanted to come down here for this winter and go back north for this winter and summer. So, he was like you know what? this is the perfect opportunity for me to try that because you guys will be down there so he ended up moving first actually for seasonal then once his lease came up. He was like Nope! I'm doing this full time then my sister moved down then my other sister moved down.

Samantha: My biggest concern was my grandparents because they had moved from New York to New Jersey to be closer to us. They used to always say, I'll never move to Florida. '' My grandpa used to always say, well, it's going to be underwater someday and I was like “okay”. We grew up on long island. I was like you could say the same thing for long island.

11:34.22

Samantha: But then, we told them even though we were so afraid we hit it from them even when we already had the apartment and we told them and they moved down so quickly after we moved down because they were like we don't like winter either. Let's go and now, my whole family is down here.

11:53.23

Aneta: That's fantastic! So, how soon after you and your husband moved? Did the rest of the family move down?

Samantha: I think seven months. Everyone was down here.

Aneta: Well, that was a catalyst for change, and when some people, Sometimes, we think that making a move like that seems really hard. So, were there things that you thought would be roadblocks or things you were worried about doing? And then, how did you overcome them?

Samantha: So, really the hardest part for me was thinking about leaving the family and telling Sean's family is still up north but other than that it's just those little hassles like changing your address and changing over the electric but I've moved so many times growing up.

Samantha: Like the states where I grew up. I was like this is no different than everything else. So just a little logistics.

12:43.54

Aneta: Yeah, that's good! So, once you decide to do it. You kind of figure the rest out. Yeah, so when did you start your BFF, or did you start that business? And was that something you were doing full time or did you do something else at the same time?

Samantha: So, I started BFF three years ago this month and at the time I was working with my dad, I went to school for Math. I went to college for Math. I have a Math Degree and during that time is when I found my love for fitness.

Samantha: But also during that time because my schedule was all over the map. I started working for my dad because it was something that I was able to do for my computer. He has his own business in Real Estate tax servicing. So, I started working from my laptop to just make a couple of dollars while I was on campus, and then I realized I kind of liked this idea of working from my laptop.

Samantha: So, I graduated college and automatically just went full-time working with him and became part owner. So, for about 10 years, I was his partner and we worked alongside each other. A couple of months ago, just about six months ago or so is when I finally put in the notice of my resignation. Basically, it was so hard. But I knew I wanted to do fitness full time. It wasn't my passion. It was just convenient and I liked working with my dad but I was ready to make it and my dad's relationship was like more family and less business.

14:17.55

Aneta: Yeah, how did he take it? Was he surprised?

Samantha: He wasn't surprised at all. He just thought he had a little bit more time but he took it way better than I thought I had. I was for years. I would think about it and just feel so sad like I can't possibly do that to him but it actually came out a really great time in the business. It just was perfect timing as usual.

14:43.20

Aneta: Right, So, Did you have any fears or worries, or how was your mindset about making the leap to go from something that seems very certain to starting going into your business full time? Which could be a little bit more uncertain?

Samantha: Yeah, it really is scary and it's still kind of scary. I'm still in the baby phase. So, I'm working through it but actually, it's so freeing and so fun.

15:12.50

Aneta: Yeah, isn't that amazing? What about it seems so freeing to you or no worries?

Samantha: The fact that I can make my own schedule that I can do what I love and just help so many women. It's so much fun. I'm so sorry my throat is so dry right now.

15:38.26

Aneta: Sam, what I found for myself is that when I finally made the decision to go, all of the things that I worried about weren't really the things that I had to worry about. I had these fears about what-ifs and none of them actually happened. And when I finally was able to create that freedom as you said, the freedom and new opportunities would present themselves. Did you find that since you went all in on BFF? Have you seen your business grow? Have you seen an increase in memberships? Did you suddenly start to see some blessings that you didn't expect to see so quickly?

Samantha: Yeah, that just reminded me of 1 of my favorite quotes. I forget who said it but it's like what if I fall and what if you fly so oftentimes? The what-ifs are like, oh no! we overthink it but I've been able to put so much more into it.

Samantha: My business has much more energy now. I have free time that obviously has grown. I've seen we have grown by about 15 members this year. In the past several months, whereas in the past it would have taken me a whole year.

Samantha: Maybe 2 years to get that many members? We're small. We're a small group. I'm a small business but the growth has definitely been better since I've been able to do it full-time and put all of my energy into it.

17:06.52

Aneta: Congratulations! I know that's fantastic. The other thing that I love is um, you've got such a great presence I follow you on Instagram and I love the way you always share your life. So, are there some personal things that you're doing? What you're doing during the day? And know that you focus on your self-care. Many different things you seem to be enjoying yourself and enjoying the Florida space there with your husband. Is it easy for you to sort of share all of yourself on social media integrated life? Was that something you had to work toward as well?

Samantha: It's definitely something I've had to work towards because we are told in the business world to really niche down and not confuse the audience but really all of that is part of me, my self-care, Florida, and living with BFF. Yeah, and I like to share it all. So, really when I don't overthink it. It's easy for me to share everything about myself and not feel like you shouldn't be sharing that fit.

18:04.19

Aneta: Yeah, for me, I love it because I feel like I'm there with you. I get to know you a little bit better which is fantastic and in the spirit of the body. Body positivity. It's nice to see you taking care of yourself. Working out and talking about that. But then also sharing the nice meals that you're enjoying that you're really preparing and enjoying or maybe going out and enjoying. It’s a great job.

Samantha: Thank you! Yeah, I'm a foodie. So, I love eating.

18:39.10

Aneta: Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about your self-care because I know that you spend a lot of time in reflection and you're very thoughtful about that. So what does your routine look like?

Samantha: So my routine, I really realized that I am not the best with structures like doing the same thing day in and day out. But what I do love is having a very slow morning with coffee and some meditation. Thanks to you.

Samantha: Journaling, getting a walk, and really having a slow morning. Now, since my schedule is so different. It's just really whatever I feel called to do throughout the day I do it and it's so much fun.

19:18.26

Aneta: Yeah, I also love morning walks. So, can you talk about some of the benefits from a walking perspective but also what it means to you to be able to be outside in the sun and go for a walk?

Samantha: So, the benefits of sunshine and just going out for a walk. I think if someone asked me what the most beneficial workout I can do is? It's definitely a walk and it's even better when it's outside and not just on a treadmill.

Samantha: Because you got that sunshine. You're in nature and there are so many benefits to that. It's great for your mind. It's great for your body. It's great to get vitamin D and it's also a way to be a little bit social and meet your neighbors and all of that is so good for our health. It's one of the Pillars for people who live the longest like the people in the blue zones who live well into their hundreds. They walk. They walk everywhere and it's just it's something that I think we all should be doing more of.

20:22.42

Aneta: Absolutely! I feel the same way and I just noticed such a positive mental health benefit when I walk versus when I don't. I just feel better being outside in the sunshine. You get the benefit because you're in Florida so you get it much more than I do. Definitely! do savor it here. So, tell me what's next for you? What other dreams? Do you have personal business-wise? What do you want to put out there in the universe that you're working on?

Samantha: I'm dabbling. I'm calling it and helping other people live their dream life because of 1 thing that people have been telling me ever since I moved to Florida. They're like, wow! I can't believe you just went for it. I can't believe you're living your dream like people who've known me for a long time.

Samantha: You talked about this for so many years and it's really cool to see that you're doing it. So, I have been loving to use my imagination and my creativity to help other women and other people realize that their dreams are possible and that sometimes all it takes is taking that first step. That's something that I am also doing alongside my fitness coaching.

21:29.65

Aneta: I Love it! You're right, Sometimes, you just take that first step. Even if you don't know the entire staircase like what's waiting to be able to take a couple of steps in front towards your goal is perfect. What would you tell your younger self are there things that you've learned now that you wish that you'd known when you were younger?

Samantha: So, I am fairly young but there's still definitely something that I would tell my younger self without a doubt to not worry so much about what other people are thinking and care more about. I think about myself more than what other people might think of me because half the time they don't. They are thinking the things that we think they're thinking of us.

22:10.10

Aneta: Right! People are so busy worrying about their own stuff. They're rarely thinking about us and maybe the ones that have something to say aren't necessarily the ones that we should be worried about as much too. I found that. I want to thank you for joining me today, I do have a final question. So the title of this podcast is Live the Width of your life and that's from a Diane Akerman quote so what does living the width of your life mean to you?

Samantha: For me, it definitely means actually living. I think a lot of us are alive but we're not living. We're just going through the motions working the nine-to-five. Taking one vacation a year. The point of life is to be alive and to live it so living the width of our life is making those memories and having those experiences. Doing what we love and being lit up and alive and not just existing.

23:11.45

Aneta: I love that! I love that so much and I see that in you Sam. I'm so grateful that you're able to share your story with us and I want you to tell us how we can best support you. If someone wants to join BFF. If they want to follow you. Tell us the best ways that we can support you.

Samantha: So. you can find me, the website is bloomflourishfitness.com that's where you can read about the community and join. I'm also on Instagram @SamanthaBilby for my personal page and @bloomflourishfitness to find all things about BFF.

23:46.60

Aneta: I will be sure to include all of that in the show notes if you're listening or watching this podcast. Please be sure to like it. If it's something you enjoyed, share it with as many friends that you think will find the story inspirational and subscribe. To be notified every time there is a new episode. Thank you Sam so much for joining. I really appreciate it. Sam, have an amazing day.

24:08.59

Samantha: Thank you for having me. It was fun. You too.