Episode 8 transcript: Why you should do more of the things that make you feel alive with Gabe Beaver

 Episode 8: Why you should do more of the things that make you feel alive with Gabe Beaver

Podcast Introduction

We often hear people wishing us a long, happy, and healthy life. But what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breath, depth, and purpose of each day that matters most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian kuzma. Join me weekly as I interview guests who make changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention, gratitude, and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.

00:02.12

Guest Bio

Today's guest on the podcast is Gabe Beaver. Gabe is a 20-year-old searching for truth through people's Journeys and stories. He's passionate about empowering young people to pursue their dreams and Redefine Success since creating the bridge podcast when he was seventeen years old. He's connected with some of the world's most interesting and successful people. He's found that there is no universal truth or definition of success. Every person has a unique perspective. His mission in life is to provide a platform for those unique stories to be heard and propel listeners to redefine success in their own lives. He recently spoke at TED about redefining success and falling in love with the process. The motto that he lives by is “ To do the opposite whether that be completing crazy workouts jumping in a freezing cold lake or interviewing the most successful entrepreneurs”. Welcome, Gabe.

[00:00:00]

Aneta: Hi, Gabe. I'm so excited to have you here with me today. How are you doing?

Gabe: I'm doing well. I'm super grateful to be here today and I'm excited. For this journey that you're, you're on with the podcast.

Aneta: Well, I'm super excited to have you here because you are a veteran podcaster with your brother Sam. So, I have a lot to learn from you and I thought it would be important to share, at least with the audience, that you are one of my godsons and so excited to have you here because you are doing so many amazing things in your life at such a young age. And I learned from you, you're very. For your age. So, I know that we're going to get a lot of really interesting things during today's conversation.

Gabe: Thank you.

Aneta: You're welcome. So, tell us a little bit about you, Like tell us a little bit about your background, and what are some of the things that you like to share with people about yourself?

Gabe: Yeah, so what I like to say is a 20-year-old searching for truth, through people's journeys and stories. My mission is to empower young people to pursue what they're passionate about and also redefine success. I'm a current college student, studying communications and leadership, and I enjoyed doing hard things. That's something that I like to put out there. I really, I'm attracted to people who do the opposite in whatever field they're doing. And usually, that comes through the podcast that I host called The Bridge, which we've been doing for almost three years now. So yeah, that's who I am.

[00:02:00]

Aneta: I love that! You can articulate who you are, so concisely and so precisely. So let's go back a little bit and let's start talking about your journey. So, can we go to the first session that we had when you were in high school? So you reached out to me and you wanted to spend some time just talking through maybe college and what you were going to study and some of the other things that were on your heart and your mind that day. So, do you want to share a little bit about that session? Who you were? How were you different then than you are today?

Gabe: Yeah. So, I reached out to Nasha, my godmother. I had seen that her life had shifted a lot. Now, she was in meditation, and life coaching, and I was curious about why she did the things that she did.

[00:03:00]

Gabe: And so when the opportunity came where I could go see her, I wanted to hear her thoughts about, what not what I should do? But just like to talk, and bounce ideas off of you for where to go to school and stuff. The sessions quickly turned into what I wanted from life. My goals, my dreams, and also overcoming a lot of fear. I remember doing a lot of fear exercises with you. The coaching and those meetings turned into something I probably never would've expected. I know, looking back on it. If I knew three years ago, the things that I'd accomplish and do at that moment, I'd been like No way! Like, you're lying. No way! And so that's exactly what happened.

Aneta: I remember that first session because I'm really optimistic. So, I always tell people you can do anything they want to do. I remember where you wanted, where you were then. And some of the things you initially wanted to do is you wanted to share inspirational quotes or videos or things that you had read because you're a big reader on social media.

[00:04:00]

Aneta: We did a fear exercise because I saw that what was keeping you stuck in your mindset around what others, how others would perceive you doing that. So, can you walk us through maybe some of the mindsets that you were in at the time? You were able to overcome some of that?

Gabe: Yeah, sure, and I know what people thought of me a lot, and I think that stemmed from when I was a child going through school and stuff. I knew that if people pleased everyone and made everyone happy that I would receive praise. That's something that I continued to do as I was older. But what I started realizing was I got so caught up in what others thought about me that I didn't know who I was myself. And so during high school when I stopped playing sports, I think I had taken a good look in the mirror and asked myself like, Who am I? And once I started asking these questions, that's when I really figured out who I am. What do I stand for? What does living a life of meaning and purpose look like for me?

[00:05:00]

Gabe: I think that's how my mindset shifted and then rather looking. What if everything goes wrong? Taking the perspective of what if everything goes right? And that's exactly what happened. And I found my voice and I found strength and vulnerability and sharing my own story and so that's exactly what I do on my social media through the podcast and through everyone I connect with. I show up as my authentic self. That's where I'm at.

Aneta: I know that in high school, one of the challenges that happened, as you just alluded to, is that you stopped playing sports because you had an injury. How did that injury and something that seemed devastating to you at the time, if I remember, how did act as a catalyst for you to do some of this other work?

[00:06:00]

Gabe: Well, I played football and basketball my whole life, and then I had concussions, stopped playing football, and then I injured my low back and stopped playing basketball. What I realized is that there was never a time in my life when I had time to do things. It was always rushing to practice, like three to five practice, five to seven practice and I never had time to sit with myself, sit with my thoughts, and ask questions. What do I like to do? What are some of my hobbies outside of sports? And so, when I first got injured. It was devastating and I remember I spent nights crying. I remember memories like times of me and my dad's basement just on my knees, like asking God, like, why? Why did this have to happen to me? Why did I get sports taken away? What I realized was that the direction of my life shifted. So, I started diving into more reading, listening to podcasts, and listening to unique stories and that's where my journey began transforming me into someone different.

[00:07:00]

Aneta: Do you think that If you continued to play sports. If you didn't have to stop. Do you think that you would still be on the same journey, or would it just have been delayed?

Gabe: I think whatever happens is the right thing that happens. So, Yes and no. Yeah, I think that I would be doing the same things, but it might have taken me longer to realize. Probably would've had a lot more concussions too, so maybe I would've been too. Okay.

Aneta: So, you started posting, and do you remember the very first post or video that you put out there?

[00:08:00]

Gabe: Yeah, it was a video of me and Sam after we had worked out and we finished working out like an hour before, and we were in some backroom at the local Y M C A . I recorded a video upside down on accident and we're talking about positivity and spreading messages of that because social media is such a negative place where people portray like all these different things and we wanted to portray something that and like the truth. That was one of the posts I made.

Aneta: Were you nervous before, before you put it out there?

Gabe: Yeah, we had technical issues, so it was like I had a lot of excuses to not do it. Once I put it out there, I was like, All right, you know, like this is meaningful stuff. I can't really go wrong with posting meaningful stuff. Now, I'm at the point where it's like, I post every single day and I know I'm posting good stuff and not stopping.

[00:09:00]

Aneta: You absolutely are posting good stuff. What was the feedback? So you had in your mind, you were worried about what people would think. You delayed doing it. So what was the response when you first posted something?

Gabe: Yeah, so I got a lot from people whom I knew well, and people whom I didn't know that well, but I took the criticism. I'd say, I magnified the criticism more than looked at the good feedback, and I remember being with my friends one day, like we're at the soccer field, playing soccer after a game. It was me hanging out with a different group of friends and I told my buddy, I was like, Yeah. It was so cool that we hung out, like with that group, they were so nice. He goes, Yeah, like they thought you were going to be some preacher dude because of the stuff you post on your Instagram and I told them. You're not like that in person and so, I like magnified situations like that and I would overthink it and stuff. But, what I realized is that I didn't want to be like everyone else. I knew that I was different. I had a responsibility to embrace my uniqueness and share my story.

[00:10:00]

Aneta: Tell me what prompted you to start a podcast? How old were you when you and Sam started your podcast? The Bridge?

Gabe: I was 17. I think, yeah, 17. Sam and I were just having these very impactful conversations and we thought that we knew that each other benefited from them, and we thought, Man, if we could just impact one person's life. How much would it affect someone by just having this platform? What we quickly realized is that we'd impacted each other through it. So, we just continued to post episodes, and talk to each other, and this was at a time too when Covid had hit a bit. So, Sam and I were both reading new things, trying new experiences, and so we both had conversations and we realized that we wanted to incorporate guests and stuff for them to share their story, their truth, and yeah, that's what happened and something that, I mean, my whole life I've loved to, to talk to people, to hear their stories, hear their truth. So, it was kind of a natural next move for me, I'd say.

[00:11:00]

Aneta: Yeah, I can attest to your liking to ask questions and talk as a little kid. I love that! Actually, your podcast was the very first podcast that I ever was a guest on. Full circle, full circle moment here.

Gabe: It was awesome!

Aneta: Yeah. So, tell me how many episodes? How many have you guys done so far?

[00:12:00]

Gabe: So, We're at 127, I think, we've interviewed over 60 people? 60 or 70. Yeah, it's been a wild journey. Sam hasn't interviewed as much as I have because he's building his business and stuff, but I think that we've had the chance to interview some of the most unique people in the world. So, it's been an awesome, an awesome experience.

Aneta: I've been so impressed by the people that you've brought onto your show. How do you find the guests that come onto your show?

[00:13:00]

Gabe: As I mentioned earlier, I'm attracted to people who are doing the opposite and who are doing hard things or not the norm not conforming to society and so I most of it's a cold DM on Instagram. Some of it is friends of friends that say, Hey, you need to hear this guy's story. I recently interviewed my friend Mark who was a friend of someone I went to school with, and he walked across America. So, I got to interview him and so I think definitely, just the cold outreach and it works.

Aneta: And it works? So, what is the response when someone sees a DM and you introduce yourself and say, Hey, want you to come onto my podcast because this was a couple of years ago? You were worried about posting anything and now you're just reaching out to folks on Instagram. So, what has the response been?

[00:14:00]

Gabe: It's been great! Most of the time, if I get a response 99% of the time a yes. I think that transparency is something that matters a lot when you reach out to these people and I also don't send people essays to read because nobody has time to read essays. I'm just very authentic that, hey, I'm a 20-year-old, like searching for truth. I'd love to provide a platform for your story and I'm super curious and interested in how you got to where you are. So that's kind of what I put out there. So, now everybody knows my secret, so they can start your podcast.

Aneta: There you go! So, after interviewing over 60 or 70 people, what are some of the top lessons, things, themes, or lessons that people share over and over again? What do you think you'd want to share with this audience?

Gabe: First, the money doesn't matter. Hmm. What do you mean by that? All the people I've interviewed, I've interviewed millionaires, billionaires, I've interviewed people who are college students. I've interviewed people who are C-suite levels, like professional downhill skateboarders, and makeup artists. They aren't at the forefront of what they do not for the money. They truly love what they do and that's why they can push through the struggle and the suffering and the hard times to get where they need to go and [00:15:00] then another lesson would be that they put the human first in others. Whether that be their workers, their employees, or people they connect with. It's a very pay-it-forward community. They really value the human first and their kind and have those values. Yeah, I think just the idea of being authentic and genuine shows up a ton as well, and just embracing who you are and at the end of the day, like no one really knows the right thing to do. Just you did. So, that's, that's a commonality that comes up.

Aneta: I love it! So, do you still have bad days? Do you have days where you doubt or struggle at all?

Gabe: Absolutely! I have bad days.

[00:16:00]

Aneta: What are some of the things that you do to overcome that? Because I know you've got a lot of routines and you read a lot. So, what are some of the things that you've done that really seem to help?

Gabe: Well, some days I just sit with it. I lay in bed, I did nothing. I slept all day. I watch tv and I listen to my body. I think that's something that over the years, I've grown and matured in that area where I know the days where I can push, and I know other days where it's time to rest and me taking a day to rest. Yeah, I might take two steps backward, but my next five steps forward are going to be a lot more productive. A lot better because I took that day of rest rather than me pushing it. So, I listen to myself. I listen to my body. I listen to my intuition and then other days when I'm not feeling it. I hope in the cold plunge or I do breath work, or I decide that I'm going to run 12 miles when I haven't run in six months. I don't know. But yeah, that's what I do.

[00:17:00]

Aneta: I love it! So, tell me a little bit, I see all these people doing their cold plunges and I've tried the cold shower. I've not submerged myself. So tell me how? I've heard it's very addictive. So tell me about why you like to do the cold plunge and some of the mental, physical, and emotional benefits that you've experienced as a result of it.

[00:18:00]

Gabe: Yeah, so, I love plunging and it is very addictive. As you mentioned. I started taking cold showers. I actually dabbled in that area when I was in eighth grade, I think. I saw some basketball trainers said to do things like hot and cold showers. So, I did that a handful of times but I watched right before Covid hit. I saw the Wim Hof documentary and I saw his spirit and this like no fear mentality and I was like, I'm even getting goosebumps. I was like, I want to be like him and I know that he's human and he has the same wiring I do. So, why can't I do that? I started doing the breath work, his breathing, and then I started going into the cold. For me, it kind of simulates practice for life when those external stressors come in. Like the cold is an external stressor and me putting my body in there. My heart rate wants to shoot up. I want to start hyperventilating. But, I learned to control my breath and take deep breaths through it, which controls my heart rate and allows me to go into the cold. What I realized is that when a stressful situation happens outside of life, I just rely back on my breath. Deep inhalations, and exhalations slow my heart rate down. But, there are so many physical benefits like dopamine, epinephrine, and all this stuff. you can find it on the internet. I'm not really, I don't know all of it. It feels good, so I do it.

[00:19:00]

Aneta: That's fantastic! Have you felt that it's actually improved your immune system too? I know that one of the benefits is that it helps your immune system not to get sick as often. Is that something that has happened to your experience?

Gabe: Yeah, I don't get sick. I used to get sick a lot as a child, and when I was younger I had asthma and all these other things, allergies. I get sick maybe once a year and I just sleep all day and all night, and then I'm fine the next day. Definitely! The cold, I can see that the breath work and the cold have helped my immune system.

[00:20:00]

Aneta: I'm going to try it again. Gabe. I might need your encouragement.

Gabe: That was cool! When I was visiting friends in Los Angeles we did breath work together and then we plunged and he has a chest freezer. It's like 37 degrees 36, which is cold. Some people plunge for the first time and it was just an amazing experience to be there and watch it. Watch Mike coach people through and you realize that you can see the mental hump that the people go over and when they get out it's like they realize Yo! I just did this really hard thing. I know I can do this next hard thing. That's, it's an epic thing to watch and to be a part of.

[00:21:00]

Aneta: Speaking of epic things. You did your very first TED Talk this year. So, it was amazing! I'm so happy to have watched your video. I didn't get a chance to be there live. But tell everyone about the experience, how you're able to do this? Just your preparation and then your experience delivering the TED Talk?

[00:22:00]

Gabe: Yeah, so, I was in class and someone mentioned that I'd seen posters of how they were doing a TED event. I knew I loved speaking and I wanted to get into it. So, I thought this would be a great thing to apply for to get into. So, I applied. I initially didn't get in and they emailed me back to see if I wanted to MC. I think it's called the announcer person. I told them no, that I didn't want to do that. I said I told them I don't want to announce people's names. I forget things easily. Like I don't want to do that. They emailed me back. I don't know how far out it is. Saying that like a spot opened up and I was going to be able to speak. So then, it was like I had a million ideas of things I wanted to talk about. Because I'm very passionate about a lot of things. I spent a lot of time in meditation, journaling, and reading some of the prior work that I've done, and I got set on the topic of redefining success, happiness, and living a life of purpose, I think that was what it was and so, the funny story though, the day before Ted, I worked out with Sam, my brother, I hurt, like I re-injured my back again. Not like, and so I couldn't walk the night before. I was like popping Advil. Like I couldn't, I didn't sleep the night before. So. Yeah, I didn't sleep the night before my TED talk and I showed up and I remember being backstage. I went to go, like bend over to like pray and I couldn't bend over to pray. So, I was sitting straight up, with my eyes closed, like saying a prayer, like doing meditation. So, then I just went out there and. Talked about the things I wanted to talk about, redefining success, and falling in love with the process. It was amazing and after it happened. I was like, I want to do this again.

I [00:23:00]

Aneta: So, Of course, you do. So, what is your next step there? How do you get onto the TED Talk circuit? First of all, how can you just find one in another city? Or what is the next step to do another one?

Gabe: I'm not completely sure. I know that they'd go to different schools and stuff, and I imagine they'll be back. I don't know how many years they do in between at school. I definitely want to get more info about speaking and stuff, but I'm still working on publishing my book. So my plan is to do the book and then speak about the book.

[00:24:00]

Aneta: I love it! Your marketing plan. So, tell everyone a little bit more about your book. Like how did you? Let's go back because I remember you came. You called me once and you said, Hey, Nasha, which means godmother in Romanian.

[00:25:00]

Aneta: You said, I think I wanted to write a book and I said, Yeah, you absolutely should write a book. You started working on your book. So, tell us a little bit about the book and what it's about.

[00:26:00]

Gabe: Well, I'll say this first. So I was, this was during Covid. I was half joking, half, not joking, I was on a call with Nasha and I was like, Hey, I want to write a book and no hesitation, no like questioning. She just goes, Your book's going to be amazing. Just write a thousand words for 60 days and you'll do it. I sat there and I was like, all right. Like someone put the path down in front of me. Now, I just got to go do it. I started writing and when I didn't have things to write about, I put myself in unique experiences that gave me things to write about, whether that was meditation, breath work, and vulnerable conversations. Even the mundane, instead of picking up my phone when I had three minutes in between classes, I just like, look around, and see what everybody else is doing. Look at the butterflies or something. But a big part of my writing was to unpack my own journey and it made me take a look at my life. It doesn't really matter what everybody else thinks about my book. Just the fact that I went through that journey and unpacked the things I went through as a child, as when I was younger, I made a lot of realizations that I don't think I would've made if I didn't write about them. So, I wrote about that and the book is just kind of like my thoughts, my journals, and my essays as a 19-year-old. What does purpose mean? What is happiness? That’s like going through grief, stress, all these things? I knew that as a 19-year-old, 18, 19-year-old, I didn't experience a lot of things, but I'd also experienced a lot of things, and so I wanted to document that, and so that's what I did. I've had basically a book in my Google Drive finished for the past year. So, I'm going to get that out to the world. I think I just figured out my title too. But I'll tell you when we're not recording.

[00:27:00]

Aneta: Okay, I'm excited. I can't wait to hear it. I'm so glad you brought up the book. I wasn't sure if we were going to go there today. Because, I think your book's amazing, and I think that it's such an interesting story to have someone who's 18, 19, 20 as you're editing it as a young adult, really talking about the things that are important to you. Because I think it, the way if I remember the way it was separated. You talk about your health, your mental state, your spirituality, faith, and all of these things. They're really deep topics and I think that they cover all ages. It's something that everyone can get something out of. So tell us a little bit more about your faith. I know that that's something that is a large part of your life, and how do you see that your faith helps you daily?

[00:28:00]

Gabe: Yes, I think., My faith was really tested when I was in high school. Like when I started questioning, why are these things happening? My faith continues to be tested throughout my life, with things happening. But I think my faith is something that I just lean on. 24 7. I think that I'm confident in my identity as a child of God, and I also think that you know, everybody, a lot of people say like God, like whatever your God is like God, all of the universes, I think it all correlates and I don't like an argument like, this is my God and your god's the wrong God. It's not like that. I mean, we're called to do two things, and that's to love our God and love our neighbor. Pretty simple instructions. That's how I incorporate my faith through daily exercise, but also throughout my life is to love those around me, and I think it's important to chase after big things because that's how you can glorify your God by doing, and having these God-sized dreams.

Aneta: I love that! Thank you. Thanks so much for sharing that, Gabe. So, what's next for you? What are some of the things that I don't know if you have a bucket list or how you keep track of all these hard things that you want to keep doing? Because I see you doing a lot of them. What's next? What are you willing to share?

[00:29:00]

Gabe: It's a great question. I think. A lot of listening to my inner child is next. I've been doing a lot of breathwork and meditation and listening to the things that I wanted to do as a child. I'm just going to continue to follow that intuition and that gut feeling. I know, I was on a podcast yesterday, which was funny, and Travis asked me the same thing. He's like, What's next? So yeah, I think I'm going to continue to do the opposite and when everybody goes left, go right. Maybe do some. Long-distance endurance stuff speaking. I definitely want to get into facilitating breath work as well. That's something that's been on my heart these past few months. I want to get into that and continue on this healing journey I'm on and share it. Document everything and just see where it takes me because I know it's going to take me to exciting and fun places. I have no doubt.

[00:30:00]

Aneta: So, as you think back, you've been on this journey for a few years now and you've done so much in like over the last three years, you're 20. Just want to remind everyone. So, as you think about it, what advice would you give to your younger self? Is there anything that you wish you would know back then that you know now?

[00:31:00]

Gabe: I think, I just say to trust yourself in the decisions that you make. I think in high school when I was younger. I was very curious, but I didn't share my thoughts a lot because I thought that I was thinking the wrong way or whatever. I'd say, continue to be curious about whatever may be in your life. That the one saying, "this too shall pass" is something I'd tell my younger self. It's like, this too shall pass.

Aneta: I love it! I love it! So, I'm going to ask you a question. You know, the title of the podcast is Live the Width of Your Life, it's based on a quote that says, I don't want to live my entire life and realize I just lived the length of it, but also that I live the width of it. What does it mean to you to live the width of your life? And how do you do that?

Gabe: It means to do more of the things that make you feel alive.

[00:32:00]

Gabe: That's something that's been on my heart for a while now is doing things that make you feel alive? Ask yourself that. Sit with it. What I realized is that when I'm having these types of conversations, when I'm with my friends, when we're talking about deep stuff, when we're talking about things like our traumas or what we've gone through. Those are the types of conversations and spaces where I feel like I'm truly alive and so living a life of like is diving deep into myself to also share that experience with others. Yeah, and I think that going inward is something that not a lot of people talk about, but I think that when you go inward, you'll find everything that you need. So, I think that's living a life of width, and then also my mind is like ideas everywhere but definitely like doing service with others. That makes me come alive. I realized that two weekends ago. I went to a conference all alone in Los Angeles. I met some lifelong friends and one of our activities was doing service. I got to know people so well and it's like we bonded over giving back to the community and I was like, what better way to meet somebody and get to know them? In a shared experience doing service for others. So, definitely service as well.

[00:33:00]

Aneta: I love it! Doing more of the things to make you come alive, going within, and then giving back and being of service. I think that's a beautiful definition. Gabe, tell us how we can support you.? How can we find your podcast? How can people follow you on your channels? And is there anything else that we can do to support you in your endeavors?

[00:34:00]

Gabe: You can support me by going after your dreams. Yeah, and then tell me about it. I love hearing people's stories. And also, yeah, like reach out to me. I always reply to everyone. Yeah, on socials, it's just Gabe. Beaver, Gabe Beaver. I'm on TikTok, LinkedIn, and all that good stuff. I think you can support me best by chasing after your own dreams.

Aneta: Well, we will definitely include all of your links in the show notes. I want to thank you for coming on today. I always learn so much. I am so grateful to be your godmother. I just relish all of our time together and I'm so proud of you. I just am amazed at all of the things that you have done and you've learned at such a young age, and I know the best is to come onward and upwards. Thank you so much, Gabe. Have the most amazing day.

Gabe: Thank you! I really appreciate it and I'm super grateful to be here. Can I say one last thing before we end the recording?

Aneta: Of course!

[00:35:00]

Gabe: Okay, I don't know where you are, where you're listening from what you're doing, but you're worthy, you're loved, and you're enough. That's in my heart to share. I just want to echo that message. I don't know who you are, or where you are. Maybe I do know who you are, but you're worthy, you're loved, and you're enough.

Aneta: Beautiful! Those messages always find the people who need to hear them. And all of us need to hear that. That's something for all I receive. Gabe, I receive it from you to me as well. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. We'll have you on soon to learn more about other things that you're. Thanks so much.