[00:00:00] Victoria: Almost everybody else will say, I believe in a higher power. I believe in God. But what separates the flock is who actually obeys him and who actually follows him. Who trusts that how he designed you is truly better than what you could even think of for yourself.
[00:00:17] Aneta: We often hear people wishing us a long, happy and healthy life, but what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breath depth and purpose of each day that matters most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian Kuzma and join me weekly as I interview guests who made changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention, gratitude, and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.
[00:00:52]
[00:00:52] Aneta: Welcome back to Live the Width of Your Life Podcast. My guest this week is Victoria Washington and she's an entrepreneur and author, a speaker who is leading women to walk boldly in their Holy Yes to life in Christ. She's the founder of the Holy Yes Ministry, the Speak Academy and Victoria's work is rooted in her own testimony of surrender and redemption.
[00:01:15] Proving what's possible when we stop running from God's voice and build a life fully yielded to his promise. And whether you're new in your relationship with Christ or you're standing on the edge of surrender, her message pioneers a bridge between faith and finance, calling women out of fear and into the fullness of God's assignment on their lives.
[00:01:35] Wow. This conversation was so amazing. I found Victoria a really important time in my life over a year ago and had an opportunity to meet with her in person and then brought her onto this podcast. We talked about her book, Holy Yes. Which is so beautiful and so important, and it's just one of those books that is one that I'll come back to over and over again.
[00:01:58] We talked a lot about her faith journey and how she really, leverage her newfound faith in Jesus to help her elevate from where she was in her life to where she is today, and how she's been able to witness now to others and really build businesses and lives that are anchored in strong faith and financial abundance.
[00:02:21] I loved our conversation so much. We went so many different directions, and I think you will as well take a listen.
[00:02:27] Victoria, thank you so much for joining me today. I'm so excited that you're here.
[00:02:33] Victoria: Couldn't be more happy. I am blessed to be here. Thank you for having me.
[00:02:37] Aneta: It is so amazing to me to look back on my life and to see little seeds that were planted and you just never know what's going to come from them. And I remember, I don't know if you know this, the first time I ever heard of you or heard your voice, I think was on the Sam Skelly podcast and you were talking about God. You said, God, and you said it unwavering. You didn't say the universe, you didn't say all these other things. You said, God. And I thought, who is this woman that is so boldly talking about her faith in a way that sounds so real and so purposeful and intentional. And I followed you immediately and then found my way into many of your programs because I couldn't get enough of you and what you were sharing.
[00:03:35] And of course we know that's the Holy Spirit moving through you and a year ago today. I found myself in London with you and Krista Williams at one of your programs, and it was absolutely life changing, so thank you.
[00:03:52] Victoria: Thank you, Aneta. I didn't know that was the first time, so that's amazing to hear. You just never know what someone's going topick up on, when they're going topick up on it. And it feels like I've known you for so much longer, but I had no idea that was the first place that you heard of you was on Sam Skelly's podcast.
[00:04:07] So that just makes me so happy because you never know when God is going toput you in the room with somebody, how he's going toconnect all the pieces. It feels like I've known you so much longer, but that's how time works with him.
[00:04:19] Aneta: It is amazing.
[00:04:20] Victoria: Everything happens at once.
[00:04:21] Aneta: It's so amazing. I want to talk about this book here, Holy Yes.
[00:04:27] Victoria: Let's do it.
[00:04:30] Aneta: So I got the book immediately, did the pre-order, waited for it, read it like in one sitting. I think. I was on the weekend and I was like, I'm just going tosit and read it, like all of it. And then I've gone through it. Those that are watching on YouTube, I've gone through and earmarked and I've highlighted and just gone through it slowly.
[00:04:50] And really just took the time to digest the book and there are so many nuggets of wisdom where I could feel that God was moving through you, Victoria, when you wrote this book. So for those that don't know, maybe you can talk about how this book came to be in the first place. Because I think you mentioned you were writing another book initially instead.
[00:05:16] Victoria: Yeah. A few years ago I was in the midst of writing a money book all about what God taught me about money, and it was based off of methodology that I taught inside my membership, The House Of We at the time, and I decided to travel to British Columbia because I just wanted to get a cabin in the woods and like every writer. Go be a writer in the woods and do my thing. And so I was like, I'm going tofinish this book in two weeks in the woods.
[00:05:43] Mind you, I had 12 pages written, so I was like, I've heard of those authors who just like, write everything in one sitting. And I think I'm going todo that with this book. So I had this whole grand plan. I rent a Jeep, I'm driving, I get the Jeep on the ferry, which I didn't even know you could do. I didn't even know you needed to take a ferry to British Columbia. This is how much I was just doing my thing. And so I get to Vancouver, they're like, yeah, you need a ferry ticket. And I go, oh, I know how I thought I was going toget there, but I didn't realize that.
[00:06:10] So I put the Jeep on the ferry. I get into British Columbia at the time there's fires on the island, and the road to get to my Airbnb is closed, so you have to take these crazy back roads with no service. I stop at the park ranger and he gives me the map and I was like, why are you giving this map? He was like, because there's no service where you're going. And I was like, what? So I'm using this map, I have no service for like almost two hours on these back roads and I'm like okay, this is how this whole trip is going to start out. So I finally get to the island. It's the most beautiful if you've ever been in BC It's just absolutely stunning. And I was like, I'm going towrite my book here.
[00:06:49] So I got to the cabin, got everything set up and nothing was coming. Everything, all the ideas stopped. Nothing was coming. And I'm sitting at this cafe because I'm thinking maybe if I change my environment a little bit, nothing's coming. And I remember this moment distinctly, I'm looking out at the lake and I hear God say, you're not writing this book.
[00:07:11] You're going to write a devotional for me about your relationship with me and about your testimony. And first thought I had is like many of the people that God calls even in the Bible was, who am I? I don't know how to write about you. Like I love you and I'm in relationship with you, but I don't know how to tell other people about you.
[00:07:32] I don't know to write a devotional. People use that to be close to you. This feels completely out of my league. And that's exactly why he wanted me to write it, because it would require complete and absolute dependence on him. And come to find out, because it then took me two additional years to finish the devotional. Writing a book requires dependency on God and it requires you to unknow everything you think you know and in writing. Holy Yes, he was actually creating more intimacy between me and him. Through that dependency and through me pursuing him every single day, he used that book to disciple me. So everything in that book is what I wish I had at the beginning of my walk with Jesus. I was so terrified of saying his name, so terrified of talking about my faith. All of a sudden, my life overnight has shifted because when the love of Jesus hits your heart, everything's different.
[00:08:35] And I wish that I had a book that just was a bridge between old life and this new life. So my prayer as I was writing, Holy Yes is, I hope that lukewarm believers who are in their faith, but want deeper and yearn for a deeper connection with God. Pick up this book and feel inspired to read his word, the Bible and go draw closer to him. And I also wanted the book to be for new believers who looked at the Bible and they were like, I don't know what this means, but I know I love Jesus.
[00:09:05] I wanted this book to be a bridge for them to walk in deeper alignment with God's will of their life and to also have more context for the Bible so that when they did pick it up they felt like they could truly understand God's word, and the testimonies that have come it's all him. I can't even put it into words what he's done.
[00:09:29] Aneta: Yes to all that. And isn't it interesting that when God asks us to do something, it's usually when we're not ready. Like we don't feel we're ready. And it is because as you said, we can go back to Moses, we can go back to Jonah, we can go back to so many folks in the Bible and just say, because he wants us to depend on him.
[00:09:51] It's not about our will. It's about his strength in our own weakness. Do you remember when he asked you to do this? Do you remember the month or the year? Like when did you get your ask?
[00:10:03] Victoria: It was the summer, because I went to BC in June, 2023. Yeah. It must have been June, 2023. Yeah.
[00:10:11] Aneta: Okay. So my conversation with God was in November of 2023 when he told me that it was time to write my second book. And it also is a book about my relationship with God. So it's interesting and that one's going to come out later this year. But it's interesting. I had the exact same reaction as you, Victoria. I was like, wait, what? I said, no, I don't think so. I don't think this is for me. I think there's someone better.
[00:10:36] Victoria: There's certainly someone more qualified. I don't know.
[00:10:39] Aneta: Yeah, and you actually talk about this, you talk about you talk about committing before we're ready in here, and I love how you talked about that. Can you just expand a little bit, maybe not even just with this book, but what you've realized in other areas of your life, like when you are chosen to do something and you make that commitment even before you're ready. Like what happens in those moments?
[00:11:03] Victoria: I started to feel that the word ready was just so empty and driven from an ungodly ambition. What am I actually getting ready for and how could I ever be ready to receive the goodness that God has for me? That means that there's something, I have to get ready, means that there's something that I will do that will shift what he will do for me. And God is not a transactional God like that. So he's not saying. You're in timeout over here until you do this thing, then you're going toget over here.
[00:11:38] He's a loving father. He's a loving God. He's a loving creator. And I heard God say very specifically, I do not need you ready, Victoria, but I do need you committed.
[00:11:50] And committed, brought through a completely different heart posture. Ready, had me striving in the world to try to be something that maybe God never even called me to be. A lot of people are getting ready to be something that God never called them to be. And when he said, I need you committed, that immediately had me fall to his feet immediately had me look to him and say, I'm committed to you.
[00:12:13] So you tell me. When I'm ready, you tell me what ready looks like. You make me into the woman that can walk as a daughter of God, turn me into a woman who can stewarded this mission. And it just completely shifted how I walked, how I talked, and the heart posture that I held as I did those things. So I just don't believe in getting ready.
[00:12:37] There's not one person when I studied the Bible, not one person that God called, was ready and he never asked, are you ready? He said, follow me. He said, pack your bag. He said, leave your family. He said, walk over here. He said, go this way. He never said, are you ready? Because we're not smart enough to know if we're ready or not.
[00:12:58] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:12:58] Victoria: We didn't create ourselves, he created us. So I leave the readiness up to God and all I have to worry about is am I committed to the most high? Am I committed to walking in his will? Am I committed to his ways? Am I committed to being more Christ-like? And in that commitment I will become exactly who God designed me to be.
[00:13:21] Aneta: It is actually the act of surrendering to trusting in God's will. When we do that, when we just make the commitment and we allow God to do the rest, it's actually less work than I think what we try to do on our own. It's so hard to try to spend time doing all these things and making it happen on our own, and it's not about that.
[00:13:42] It actually is relying on God, to help do what he wants through us and being okay with whatever that is. Not necessarily saying, oh, but I want to do this.
[00:13:54] Victoria: Yeah. And I read a quote recently, I forget exactly who it was by, maybe it was from Tozer, and it said, or no, CS Lewis. He said, we're not bargaining with God around what's good or bad, but we're bargaining with how good can be.
[00:14:11] So when we follow God God it's almost like we're, it's okay, I'll commit to you, I'm going tosurrender to you. But then we're like how bad is the good going to hurt? If I follow God, it's definitely going to come with hurt. But if I do it my way, it's not, it's such a deception. And I think about a marriage. Are we ever really ready to marry somebody and spend the rest of our lives with them?
[00:14:34] How are you going to know? How do you know? But if you're committed. Then that prepares you to have the heart that's willing to walk by faith, not by sight, because you don't know what your going to be like in 10 years. You don't know what's going to happen. But if you're committed to this person, it's whatever happens, I'm here.
[00:14:57] And that's how our covenant is much like a marriage with our creator is I'm committed to you. I don't know what the next five years is going to look like. I could never even predict it. You see all things. I don't, but I'm committed to you and I love it. You said regardless of what the path is, I trust above my way.
[00:15:18] Aneta: Yeah, absolutely. And you shared your story in the book, which I really appreciated.
[00:15:24] And you talked about how it began, you had seeds earlier, but I love when you started talking about the 40 day fast that you did, and you committed to not drinking alcohol during that time.
[00:15:40] Can you just walk us through what the fast was and maybe all the emotions that you went through?
[00:15:47] From the beginning to the end because depending on what you're doing, 40 days can go really fast. But when you are fasting and you are abstaining or refraining from things that are a part of your life, that could feel like a really long time.
[00:16:01] Victoria: So I opened up the book with that part of my testimony because it was one something that not a lot of people knew about. And a lot of people see me, rebuking new age, exposing new age deception and trying to wake people up to the truth.
[00:16:18] But my testimony did not start with being delivered from New Age.
[00:16:21] That actually came a lot later in my walk with Jesus. The first seed that was ever planted was when I filed bankruptcy, and after that I recognize the lie is I can create my own reality. Well that doesn't really work when you're going to third world countries and when you're going through something like bankruptcy, I could not comprehend like how that applies.
[00:16:47] And I was using all these different modalities only to end up emptiness. And it was then that I became desperate enough to actually acknowledge God for after years of never being able to say his name. So I did this post where I shared, I'm not going toreplace the word universe or God with universe anymore. At the time that was crazy. Like people came for me. People were like, what? At that point, I had not had a full encounter with Jesus, but I was now believing in God, which many people start with as like this God creator. And as this is unfolding, I'm exploring a relationship with God, but still very much so in the world.
[00:17:28] So I have my relationship with God, but then I'm still have false gods. I'm worshiping through yoga, or I still have crystals that I'm worshiping. So I'm living a very double-minded life, and in the midst of all of this, I also am hiding a codependent addiction to alcohol. not somebody that's like getting drunk and getting lost on the street every night or, I don't even drink liquor, but I had a glass of wine every single night. I had to have wine every single night. It was an addiction. It was a dependency that I was in denial about because the coaching industry, makes it luxury where you can get vu. I was buying high end wine and you know that you're about to let go of a sin when you start to bargain with it.
[00:18:13] So I went from like cheap $6 wine to now. I'm making a lot of money. I'm getting organic hangover free wine shipped from Italy. Literally I would get boxes of wine shipped and I'm like, I don't have a problem. I'm getting boxes shipped from Italy. Now alcoholics don't do that. They do, and then I get boxes of vo, like high-end, $80 bottles of champagne. And every night I'd pour them. And then it started to be one glass and it's two, then it's three. And I'm realizing that I'm using this as a clutch and it's keeping me in bondage. So as all that was coming to focus for me start somewhere in this is where God had to do it. I started listening to worship music praying for the first time ever.
[00:18:59] And when I heard this worship music I'm hearing. What I now know to be the Holy Spirit. And I was like, what's that? And there was another coach at the time who had just come to Jesus, caitlin passed her neck and she started to post about her relationship with Jesus. And I saw the difference in her eyes and I was like, I want that freedom. And she's talking about God, but she's talking about Jesus. Now, I know Jesus is God, but I still hadn't made that connection yet. And I listen to this worship music I'm in the spirit now and I'm like, wow, this is so different than anything. And a friend of my partners at the time invited us to go to church.
[00:19:38] Now, I haven't stepped foot in a church in years. I don't have a bunch of church trauma, but I had a very lukewarm upbringing when it came to faith where it was like, choose your path. Here's a few options. I chose the world in new age. I didn't even know about church, so I walked into this church and the first song that's playing is one of the songs that I listen to all the time and worship, like. Wait, they play the music here. This is amazing. What, I'm sitting at church, I'm going now every Sunday, and nobody knows this is a secret. I don't talk about it. I'm, but I'm now coming to my faith in a way I've never experienced before. I'm in church like way, make miracle coworker life, just, but no one would ever know.
[00:20:22] And three months into church. I heard my pastor talk about this 40 day fast. I was so removed from Jesus. I didn't even know when Easter was Aneta. Like I didn't know Easter. I completely unsubscribe from anything to do with religion or faith, and I was in my own spiritual portal of deception.
[00:20:44] So you're doing this 40 day fast to lead up to the resurrection. I didn't know what that meant though,
[00:20:51] but I know there's a 40 day fast and I knew that God screamed in my ear, you're going to let go of alcohol or fast from alcohol. And I was like, why?
[00:21:02] What do you mean?
[00:21:05] I get the instructions that I'm going to let go of alcohol and it becomes, now I know conviction. Conviction is not God judging you, but it is him lovingly correcting you, taking you by your shoulders and being like right there, that thing, I want you to get rid of that. And so he started to show me my relationship with alcohol was literally putting me in chains. And that this wasn't just me, that this was on my bloodline.
[00:21:32] That this was something that family members were playing out, that this is a cycle that the devil is using to keep you in bondage. So it's day eight of the fast, and I'm so in my pride that I'm like, I got my French wine already planned at the 40 days, and I'm like, I'll just get it where I no need longer every day. So I'm just going to it have to have wine every day. That would be nice, god. Thank you. Yeah. Good job. I'm going to do that.
[00:21:59] And then it's day eight and I'm so mad, I'm furious, I'm angry. I'm like, what is this? Why am I feeling all these things? And he started to show me how numb I was, how dead I was inside, how spiritually bankrupt I was, how I had been listening to just all this deception. And I prayed a prayer that I'll never forget where I was like, I just want to know the real thing. Show me the real thing. And then as I look back in my journal, my prayers turned from and fighting to praying to Jesus. He showed me Jesus. He's like, if you want to know the real thing, it's Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and I want you to start reading the Bible.
[00:22:45] And I talk about him all throughout the whole book is about him. So halfway through this fast, I'm praying to Jesus. I'm seeing Jesus heals all these people. Everybody loves him. Specifically, I really connected with Mary Magdalene's testimony because
[00:23:03] she possessed by seven demons and he delivered her.
[00:23:05] And people don't want to acknowledge but when you're in bondage. There are demons working through you. There's so many things you open yourself up to that you don't realize. And so I knew I needed real deliverance and I saw that you could get that through Jesus. So by the end of the fast, my heart is softened.
[00:23:23] It's like you get new eyeballs. I'm just like, what? Everything I'm seeing it differently.
[00:23:30] I lost track of the fast because I was so committed and in it that I was like, wow, the 40 days is up. And I looked at myself in the mirror and I could not remember the taste of alcohol. It was like he gave me amnesia. I couldn't remember the taste. When you're addicted to something, you get that little itch. Like I get it still sometimes with sweets where I'm like, I just want to eat a cookie or I just need my dark chocolate after then you get this gnawing. I couldn't find any desire in my body to drink.
[00:24:02] That's when I realized for the first time that Jesus is not this spiritual theory or character, that he's real. And he's alive and he lives and he delivered me from addiction and I have not drank or even thought about that in three years. This is my third year sober anniversary and also giving my life to Christ.
[00:24:26] And that was stage one of what's then been a three year journey, but that fast was the turning point of everything.
[00:24:36] Aneta: Amazing. First of all were you scared when you heard God say you're going todo this fast and you're not going todrink?
[00:24:44] Victoria: I was terrified because I knew that it wasn't just a fast, deep down. I knew was completely about to turn my entire world upside down and my identity was in alcohol. I had such a dependency on it that I didn't realize, and I also had so much shame that I hid. So it was almost like, oh, you can see that? He's yeah, I see everything. Even things you
[00:25:10] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:25:11] Victoria: So terrified because I was like, wow, this is for real. And I don't know who I was without drinking. I didn't know that version of myself.
[00:25:22] Aneta: Yeah, he rebuilt your identity in the 40 days and showed you what alcohol was taking the place of and filled it with something more amazing, which is this relationship with Jesus. So while you were going to church and you said that you were keeping it a secret, you didn't let people know that you were doing this.
[00:25:42] Did people know you were fasting? Did they know that you were giving up alcohol for any reason or was that kind of, did you keep that on the down low too?
[00:25:51] Victoria: I did not tell anyone publicly because that felt very, like there is still so much shame. So if I'm fasting from alcohol, that must mean I need a problem. I have a problem. And I didn't vocalize that to anyone.
[00:26:01] My partner at the time, we had agreed to do the fast together. I think he was fasting from social media.
[00:26:06] And really, I've come to learn that fasting is water or dry fasting. Really what we were doing is consecration, but that's for another conversation. But for any believers who are like, that's not, I was like, I got you. I know.
[00:26:17] But for the sake of this conversation he was letting go of social media. I think he lasted like a week, and then I just kept going with my thing. And I'll be honest, in that partnership, there wasn't a ton of transparency around that. So I was not vocally sharing but I think everybody could see the change. talk to all my good friends from that time, they all say the same thing of, we didn't look at you like you had a problem. Like you made it seem so normal because it is normalized in our culture do this things.
[00:26:48] I said, when you're in the coaching industry, when you're a top coach, every other story is someone pouring champagne, going to a hotel at two, having a drink. So it was just it felt so normal and I hid it so skillfully that no one would know that I was deep down really struggling with this. So I can't say that it was this big public thing, but I would say by the end of the fast, people realized, okay, wow, she's serious. This is changing.
[00:27:15] Aneta: And I can only imagine too after the end of 40 days what happens to, not just what's happening internally, but you probably looked like a different person too, when you start to abstain and then you are replacing it with the Holy Spirit.
[00:27:30] Victoria: Yeah, everything and you know like the way you sound your face and it's really. Jesus. I'm trying not to say it's crazy because it's not crazy. So now that feels normal. because I hear testimonies about this all the time now, but back then, I didn't realize that was even a possibility.
[00:27:52] I thought that I was going to be in that forever. I didn't realize that through submitting to him and laying my life down and really committing that he would take away all of it.
[00:28:05] Aneta: Yeah, and I do want to highlight a couple of things as I was going through it. Again, I love the way you talked about, you would take words and you would say from this to that, and I just wrote a couple words down just because I thought they were so beautiful. You said from adversity into abundance, from abide, it's abiding, not arriving, carried, not chasing success through obedience. Deliverance, surrendering to God's promise.
[00:28:38] So there's just these beautiful sentences and words that you've done that really cause me to pause and to just spend time reflecting on those phrases.
[00:28:49] As you were writing the book, did you feel like you were writing and then you go back and read it?
[00:28:55] And did you recognize that you wrote this or did you just go, wow, God. That was beautiful that you wrote this through me.
[00:29:03] Victoria: A little bit of both because my editor and I wrestled for months, Aneta.
[00:29:07] I could not find my voice in this book. It was so difficult because. I was like, okay, we're doing a devotional now, so let's pull all the main quotes I've ever had, or like teachings I've done because in some of the programs you've even invented in, I've talked about God, I've even shared my relationship with Jesus.
[00:29:23] So I was like, let's pull everything and put it in this doc. And I was trying to write the book through old soil. And he let me do that like, I'm going tolet you just go back and forth as much as you need. And I couldn't find the voice. It just wasn't landing. And my editor was like, Victoria, you're not writing an Instagram caption. You can open the word up, and write it for a whole page and then take them to another part. And something in my imagination bloomed where I was like, this is not rushing to get them to a revelation.
[00:29:55] Like, On Instagram caption you have 2000 characters. I could spend a whole page on what this one word is saying. So soon she that something shifted and in the spirit and I said, God, I'm just going to get rid of this whole outline and let's just, write. And even was writing book in the beginning, I was still afraid to say, Jesus. I was like, I don't want to leave anybody out. I'm afraid of offending this person. What if somebody takes this out of context, he's like, stop. about the truth. And those who have will hear, just write about the truth. And so it was a reckoning of sorts. And then eventually I found my voice. And now when I read that book back, it feels like all him.
[00:30:39] I cannot find. It's unfamiliar. Even. I'll read it and I'm like, wow. I wrote that, like that came out. I was like, oh. So I'll read the book myself and be like, in awe, not at me, but at how he just put all the pieces together.
[00:30:58] Aneta: Yeah, you were the vessel for sure. As I was looking through it, because it's such a beautiful collection of poems, prayers, lessons, so it's very interesting the way you've done it because some pages are. Just a few lines or a quote, and then others are like a chapter, and then the poems are just so beautiful too.
[00:31:18] So did you start off with an intention when you started rewriting it in terms of oh, maybe there'll be some poems, maybe there'll be some quotes that I highlight? Or did that happen organically?
[00:31:30] Victoria: No. I'm so glad you asked that because that was a deliberate choice where, and I'm sure you can relate to this too, I was trying to write the book, like I'd seen every other author write a book, but the truth is I'm a poet at heart, and so God was like, you can just throw out all every other format fill it with poems, fill it with quotes, like it doesn't have to be the structured thing.
[00:31:53] So I wanted to break the rules of, there needs to be chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, and I just wanted this book to be, any woman can open up a page drop in. Then feel inspired to seek him. That's all I wanted. So he actually gave me instructions to include poems, more poems than the essays and the lessons, because the poems, each of those poems are from a different part in my walk.
[00:32:17] There's a poem on celibacy in there, when I was really struggling with lust and I was choosing celibacy. That's a really personal moment. There's poems of letting go of men that I knew were not from God, but in my walk I was confused. And every believer has these moments in their walk, but nobody talks about them openly.
[00:32:35] It's not like I found Jesus and then I'm this perfect, holy person. I still struggled with lust. I still struggled with saying goodbye before I was ready, waiting for saving myself from my husband. That could be a whole book in itself. So he gave me specific instructions to include the poems because it adds a humanizing texture to a topic that is so layered, and it really gives the reader insight on all the different chapters of your walk in faith. And I love how the poems show you that it's not perfect that it is, it's wrestling sometimes.
[00:33:09] It's surrendering sometimes, and so I wanted to break the rules that you had to have the book structured in a certain way and just do my own thing. That's why it's not as structured as somebody would think, but I feel it still tells a story. We start off really deep in the gospels and then get into a little bit of lightness in the middle, and then it takes us back into the depth at the end.
[00:33:31] Aneta: I really enjoyed the poems and I enjoyed because we get to see that just because you make a commitment to God and you have this relationship with Jesus does not mean that there will not be challenges. And it does not mean that there won't be things that we have to release in order to go deeper. And especially I think in that poem on celibacy, you said something to the effect of you will always something about being chosen versus
[00:34:03] Victoria: Chase day.
[00:34:05] Aneta: Yeah. Chasing. And I was like, that was really beautiful and I can't imagine, I'm sure it was very difficult to let go of relationships, like you said before, you're ready to say goodbye.
[00:34:18] So what has that been like in terms of God pruning you and as you continue to grow deeper in your faith?
[00:34:27] Victoria: It's interesting because I thought that alcohol was like the big shebang that I was going totake so much effort in my whole life to let go of. Turns out, it's been the easiest. So we have these, surface level sins, I'll call them, like drinking, getting drunk. That was my bigger thing that I thought I was wrestling with. But once he removed that and my eyes were open, I saw all these other areas that were actually bigger, like pride, lust, codependency. And in the new age they package spirituality up as self-empowerment. They package witchcraft up, as self-empowerment and there's this false liberation narrative that the more sexual you are, the more open you are.
[00:35:11] The more XY, Z you are, the more free you are. I've discovered it's the opposite. It's the more in bondage that you are. I've never felt more free and more clear than I do today because I'm not soul tying with a bunch of different things and placing myself in situations that are requiring me to bond with something that is not equally yoked with who God made me to be. Just for the sake of not being lonely, just for the sake of not sleeping alone or just for the sake of feeling validated.
[00:35:43] So when I was about a year into my walk. Celibacy was something he immediately called me into after the ending of my long-term relationship. I just had this feeling of that's the last time I'm having sex until I get married. And that thought in itself was one. I never thought that I would ever even, have go through my mind because again, I grew up in a household where it was like, try it on before you do the thing. That's just how I was raised. So even culturally, that's what the world says to do. But I felt very clearly the Lord was like, you belong to me.
[00:36:17] And he started to show me that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. That this is his house. It's not just flesh and bone, that it is his house. And every time you are having intimacy with somebody, you're tying to them. And so imagine doing that 10 times before you get married. Imagine tying with somebody who also has their own trauma, who has their own demons, who has their own unclean spirits that are working through them. And when I looked at why I was doing that, it was for power control and to feed an appetite that was not of God. And. That realization opened me up to a path of truly looking at God and not just saying, I believe in you, but looking at him and saying, I follow you. Like I don't just believe in you.
[00:37:12] Because there's almost everybody else will say, I believe in a higher power. I believe in God. But what separates the flock is who actually obeys him and who actually follows him. Who trusts that how he designed you is truly better than what you could even think of for yourself.
[00:37:30] He started to show me that I was his idea, sex was his idea, marriage was his idea.
[00:37:36] Business was God's idea. I started to see all these things and I was like, wow, I am so self-righteous like I did. Sex was God's idea. he is like, so why don't you check in with me and I'll tell you how to enjoy it in the best way. Business was his idea. He talks about business in Proverbs and Kings all throughout the Bible.
[00:37:55] He's like, so why don't you check in with me and I'll tell you how to have a kingdom inheritance that gets passed down to your children's children. He writes about money. He tells us how to do all of it. The Bible is a manual for life, I discovered. And I was here cherry picking and being like, okay, you can save me from my own demise, but I don't want you to leave me. I want to still go after that I still want to go after that thing. That's not you. I still want to engage in this sin.
[00:38:23] And so my, the second phase, and you'll see this throughout holy guess, is okay now that we're not arguing if God is real. Now that we all agree that he's real and we believe in him, now let's look at what it's like to follow him and actually be obedient to what promises he has over our life. then your faith, as that brings forth a whole different conversation. So that's how I wanted to write about those moments in life, because there were so many times where I would, let's say, connect with a man and I'm like, okay, this is good, but it's not godly. Like this would actually compromise my faith. This would have me do something outside of God's will. And old me would be like, but I like him. But want it. But there's chemistry. We have this amazing connection, and then God was like, is the chemistry more than the connection with me? Because everytime you're with him you draw further away from me.
[00:39:26] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:39:27] Victoria: Equally yoked means you're both chasing the same thing at the same time. And so if I'm chasing Jesus and he's chasing the world at some point, the yolks going to break. So his like you can either let this go now or you can see it through, and I'll love you anyways. And I will love you and I'm never going to leave you. But you might leave me. So you tell me if that's a risk you want to take. And that was when I started to realize, wow, faith is opening doors, walking through them, believing who God says you are obedience is closing doors, closing them before you want to closing them, before your flesh is ready. Trusting that he has something better for you and he has something that's going to be more fruitful for you in the long run.
[00:40:20] Aneta: And you talk about patience as being one of those things that sometimes we struggle with. We pray and we beg, and sometimes we want it on our timeline and we know what happens when we take it into our own hands. The story of Abraham and instead of waiting, and yet I love where you talked about sometimes God is not just going to open a door, but he's building you a new house. So you don't know, we think like why is this taking so long? And you said God isn't opening a new door because he's building a whole new house. I'd love that. Yeah.
[00:40:58] Victoria: Writing that, I'm just having a memory flashback.
[00:41:02] Aneta: Yeah. And it was just so impactful. And I'm like, yeah, you think you're waiting for something that in your mind is what your goal is or whatever it is that you think is the dream. And meanwhile God's saying just wait.
[00:41:15] Another thing that really convicted me when reading, I wrote this down, is that you talked about how God said, wait 119 times right in the entire Bible
[00:41:24] because I keep hearing that right now. Just finish the book. Wait, be patient, just wait. And it actually was really helpful to hear that and I was like, okay, I'm not the only one that is impatient waiting. So how has that changed in you? Have you been, are you more patient, are you, or just still impatient, but understanding that there's something better on the other end.
[00:41:51] Victoria: This has been a recent revelation because I would say, even when I was writing the book, I can't say, I was like, I'm not a patient person by nature.
[00:41:58] Like I want everything yesterday. You've coached with me too. I can come out hot. I'm like, let's roll. So I won't say, I'm not going topretend that I'm just like patient, graceful.
[00:42:09] Everything's going to just come in a great time. That's not my nature. But I have Christ now lives in me, and his peace lives in me. And what the Lord has really shown me is that I don't have to want for anything in Psalm 23:1 It says, the Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing. it says in Ecclesiastics, there is a time for everything and God's timing is perfect.
[00:42:39] In James, I believe, or John or no, which one is it, no, Peter. It says that we don't view time the same way that the Lord looks at time. That what we think of as a thousand years could be a second for the Lord. So this is the beautiful part of walking with God is recognizing that you are a child. You don't know everything and he doesn't expect you to know everything.
[00:43:04] So I started to study and really be in what is God's promise over my life? Because if his promise is to prosper me, then what am I rushing for?
[00:43:15] The God who created the entire universe, the king of this entire universe chose me and made me. So what am I rushing for? And it says in Proverbs that rushing actually leads to you hurting yourself more. So patience has not necessarily been easy for me, but it has become easier the more that I trust and know his promise over my life. And when I stopped trying to wrestle with, I spent so many years before I was saved wrestling if God was good or bad. So then I just decided I'll be God. And that's exhausting.
[00:43:49] It's an exhausting cycle. When I hear people say, I told God this and I told God that I just smile. because I'm like, you're telling the God of the universe what to do. That's very interesting.
[00:44:01] Interesting position to take. You cannot impress God. He created everything. He created you. So patience to me is more laying down your goals and your ambition and picking up his promise and his plan, and then in that your assignment reveals itself. So I don't have anything to rush toward. He's going to reveal what I need in every moment that is meant to be revealed. He's going to expand me exactly what I'm going tobe expanded. '
[00:44:30] I always feel when I really look at what God has done in my life. Just my testimony. My sister has a testimony as well. Ours have crossed paths and I'm like, God, if you just did that, I am okay. Like this is all extra. When I say he saved my life, I don't say that a fake, like he saved my life.
[00:44:53] He saved my sister's life. He saved our family.
[00:44:58] My sister and me are now best friends. She works in my company. She now has Malachi. Everything else is extra. I lack nothing. And that's been recent, like truly sitting in that recently, and I know how patient God has been with me. I will be faithfully patient as well, because patience is part of his promise.
[00:45:22] I know how patient he was while I was doing all these different things and avoiding him and not listening. And so if he wants me to wait, I'll wait. 'cause I'm waiting with the king, so it's all good. I'm like, I'll wait with you you'll just tell me when the time is. And because he sees everything, I'd rather listen to his time than my time. And I can feel it in my stomach now. It's just such a relief,
[00:45:48] Aneta: And there's so much preparation in the waiting. I think that's the other part is there's sometimes just a little bit more work, to be done so that we can hold everything that God has in store for us. And it is exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever think or imagine.
[00:46:06] If we remember that, then yeah, what's a little waiting right?
[00:46:10] Victoria: It's so true. I love that you just brought that up because it's, it reminds me of when we all have those moments that God delivered when we didn't even know to ask for that.
[00:46:24] And if we just remember those moments and this is for anybody listening, has there ever been a moment where God delivered and it was different than how you ask and you were so grateful that he did it that way and not your way.
[00:46:37] And if we can in the moments of feeling like the temptation to rush or wondering, am I getting left behind? Why she get to get the mic? She got the podcast? What am I... member what he's already done. Because that's what the devil wants to do. He wants to blind you to what God has already done so that in the waiting you get confused for being left behind.
[00:46:59] He wants you to feel like you're being left behind. That's a lie from the devil. So in the waiting, you're so right. There's a preparation of, you can wait for God's promise, then you also become the person that can fulfill his plan.
[00:47:14] If you can't wait, then you can't fully be developed into who you need to be.
[00:47:18] So yeah, I just have so many testimonies of waiting and how much I was so glad that I did that versus rushed forward. So I'm really happy you brought up preparation, because that's what we get to focus on when we're in those season.
[00:47:31] Aneta: Victoria this book, I am sure you have so many testimonies from people who have read it and talk about how it's changed them. I love God. I love Jesus, and just reading this book just made my heart full. I cried like I laughed. I was celebrating with you.
[00:47:48] Just the beauty of it. It's just so powerful and it's something that is here to last forever. Think about that. God worked through you to leave something behind for someone else to read and to find so that he could soften their heart and invite them back to him. It's a gift and it's a blessing.
[00:48:05] And I'm just so grateful for you. And so for those that are interested in the book and also in how they can work with you, what is the best way that they can find you?
[00:48:16] Victoria: On Instagram, the good old gram, you can just look up. I am Victoria Washington, and then everything else is also on my website at iamvictoriawashington.com. So let me know if you've listened to this. I love to hear testimonies. You can just DM me and there's tons of information on my page on how to work with me and continue being in my world.
[00:48:36] Aneta: And I'm so grateful for all the programs I signed up with you. Every, you just over deliver and add so much value in everything you do. So if you've not worked with Victoria, I just highly recommend it.
[00:48:47] And the final question I ask all my guests is tied to the title of the podcast. What does it mean to you to live the width of your life?
[00:48:56] Victoria: I've been thinking about this question Aneta, and I love that quote. That's so amazing.
[00:49:03] I think the narrow way is obviously what we talk about in Christ. He says few will take the narrow path, and what I've discovered is when we take the narrow path, we're going through a more narrow opening, so there's more obedience, there's more discipline, there's more dependency on God that's required.
[00:49:27] And I used to think that meant my life's going tobe so boring, it's I'm just going tobe talking about God not having sex, not talking to nobody, not having any friends. Like it's just, that's what the devil wanted me to think. You're just going tohave this boring, lame life. You're going tolay everything down.
[00:49:42] Everybody's think you're a weird church girl, and some people probably do, but that's okay. What I've discovered, and I'm sure you can relate, is that narrow path has been the most adventurous, wild, abundant, colorful, fun, like excruciatingly joyful. So joyful. It hurts sometimes because I can't even put into words what's happening,
[00:50:06] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:50:07] Victoria: That it's widened my perception of what is possible, is available here. So to me, to live the width of my life is to live as close to God and to walk that narrow path and my imagination explodes there. And he is greatest gift. And the life that you live when you're under his authority is not one that's just protected, but it's the most adventurous relationship you will ever have.
[00:50:41] He will take you places you're not even thinking of right now. I can't think of anything more wide and extravagant than that.
[00:50:50] Aneta: So beautiful. I love that so much. And I'm so grateful for you continue to be the bright, shining light that you are in this world. Continue to change women's lives through all of your programs, through your work, through your speaking, through every single gift that he has given you. And I'm so grateful that you're here.
[00:51:09] Thank you.
[00:51:10] Victoria: Thank you, Aneta. You've been a gift. Thank you.
[00:51:12] Aneta: Thank you for listening to today's episode. If today's conversation inspired you to dream again, break out of your comfort zones or reflect on what it means to you to live more fully, then please follow this podcast because every week you'll hear more stories from people just like you who took imperfect action towards their goals, created more joy and are living the life that they always dreamt of living.