Why Growth Sometimes Requires an Imbalanced Life
John Azar
(YouTube Transcript)
Aneta (00:03)
John, welcome to the Live the With of Your Life podcast.
John (00:07)
Thank you so much. I appreciate you having me here.
Aneta (00:10)
I'm so excited to talk to you because your story is such an interesting one. And I was hoping maybe we could just begin by you sharing a little bit of something you and I have in common, which I know that you also immigrated as a younger person to the states. So tell me a little bit more about how that process led you eventually to be an entrepreneur and invest and have all the books and the speaking that you have today.
John (00:37)
I don't know if the start is dictating the end, but it's been pretty circuitous since then, so it's to say the least. But as life is. Life is always sometimes securitous and it
Aneta (00:43)
Yeah. Yeah.
John (00:45)
takes us but that's the journey. That's the beautiful part about it. it's not about what your destination is gonna be, it's about what you do along the way. And that's
Aneta (00:52)
That's right.
John (00:52)
what life is about, is what you do along the way. That's what how life happens. That's life. It's the in between.
Yeah, for me as you said, I immigrated to the United States when I was sixteen with my parents. had started out with not much. I mean, my dad brought with him barely enough to kind of open a retail store with my brother and to just kind of provide for the family and we first lived in a I'd say C class duplex somewhere in the ethnic part of Charlotte.
Aneta (01:16)
Mm-hmm.
John (01:16)
and then eventually my family was able to afford to move into a house but yeah, first few couple of years I was just floundering. I didn't know the language first of all. I had to learn the language, learned how to yeah, actually be a student in the United States
Aneta (01:27)
Yeah.
John (01:28)
and finish high school somehow. I didn't get into college right away because A I couldn't afford it, my parents couldn't afford it, and B, I honestly just didn't even know how to get into college.
took about almost a year off of working. I worked for my father and my brother for a while. I worked a couple of other odds and end jobs and I ended up in a community college. which now I sit on I'm actually the president of the board of that community college is kinda cool. talk about life being securitas. and then from that community college I was transferred to a four year university and after I graduated I
moved around in a few different places, got a job with a defense contractor, and then got interested in investment in finance and private equity. after my company that I worked for actually got bought out by private equity and then it was disbanded and I was out of a job and I like, what is this private equity is all about? What how can
Aneta (02:08)
Yeah.
John (02:09)
they come in and buy this company and then put us all out of a job?
so that's when I got interested in investments and I moved to Boston, got into
investments and finance there and got into B U, got my MBA from Boston University and just and ended up getting into the world of investments and I worked for big corporations first and then ended up launching my first company and while I was in Boston as a structured finance investment banking consultancy with a couple of other people and got our butts kicked in the
Two thousand nine crisis and had to close that company in end of two thousand nine, two thousand ten, and then a few years later I restarted another company with my brother in based in the Carolinas to essentially acquire and run apartment complexes, commercial real estate. and then sort of sunsetting that operation in twenty twenty one, launched my new company, Peak Fifteen Capital, in twenty twenty one and and then launched a fund and
Now we're at the tail end of that fund and life moves on.
Aneta (03:03)
Yeah, well, a lot happened in all that time span. So I'm really curious when you first came, I think you said you were a teenager when you immigrated and you didn't speak the language. Now I was much younger, but I also didn't speak the language. And I remember how difficult it was to be a person who could communicate and suddenly be in an environment that is brand new and you're unable to communicate the way you'd want to. What would you say
those few years, those first couple of years, as you were learning the language and trying to assimilate to the culture to even figure out like what America is, like what was that like for you?
John (03:39)
God. awful. I say it was terrible.
Aneta (03:41)
Yeah.
John (03:42)
I know sometimes the right answer people are like, I'm so excited and I got to learn and I'm like I wasn't excited at all because I didn't I was I
Aneta (03:48)
Yeah.
John (03:48)
didn't even know we were immigrating, really staying here full time, until after we got here 'cause my dad didn't want to tell me that we're gonna be here forever because he didn't wanna he kinda wanted to get out without people noticing and
So learning language, obviously new language is daunting to begin with, but what helped me is I loved ling the English language and so I gravitated towards learning the English language a lot better because I loved the language so much. I was a fan of the English language just from like just pop cultural references like I knew songs that I used to sing without even knowing what the words meant. I grew
Aneta (04:22)
Right.
John (04:22)
up like listening to
people like Rod Stewart or Metallica or whatever, and I would sing along without even knowing what I'm singing. So it was exciting for me to learn the language that I was so fascinated with for a couple of years, and now starting to I'm like, so that's what that word means. that's what have a nice day means. I hear it, but I didn't know what that have a nice day means.
Yeah, I mean once you start getting assimilated and then assimilation part is definitely hard, especially as a Middle Easterner coming in, especially in the late eighties, early nineties, the American South was not exactly open minded for Arabs in the late eighties and early nineties. So let's leave it at that.
so I left one place where there's discrimination because I came from a place where there's religious discrimination against were Christians and
where I grew up in was mostly Islamic. and came to a place where I couldn't run away from discrimination from people that didn't want their daughter going out with an Arab guy. So,
Aneta (05:15)
Mm-hmm.
John (05:15)
or whatever reason might be. all of that you just have to kind of set things aside, just kinda keep moving forward. which has been MO my entire life. I don't get consumed by one thing
Or obsessed about it, you just kind of put it aside and just keep moving forward and just do the best you can. That's what I've done pretty much my entire life. if some something didn't work out, whatever. I'll try something else. If that didn't work out, fine. I'll try it something else entirely. we'll come back to that later, but I speak a lot about failure and utilizing failure and imbalance
Aneta (05:37)
Yeah. Yeah.
John (05:39)
in your life because that's how I've led all my entire life.
well, you have the option to just give up and put your hands up and sit down and not worry about I never had that mentality and never was brought up with that kind of mentality. my dad told me like you gotta figure things out. nobody's gonna hand you anything. You gotta figure it out. and you gotta study and you gotta move forward and you gotta, get your higher education because that's something nobody can take away from you
so I just kinda kept my head down and kept moving forward and got one thing done after another and that's sort of life is a stack of those things multiplied.
Aneta (06:07)
Yeah. It's so interesting because I think I always remembered back
on my own experience coming to this country and assimilating. But as I got older, I started to think about my parents' experience as well. It sounds like your parents basically also were like, okay, this is it. There's no going back. There is no plan B. So do you feel like that influenced some of the work that you do around mindset, around failures, around as you said,
the ups and downs of life and the challenges.
John (06:36)
Yeah, for sure. I mean, there's always a plan B, by the way, but you have to come up with plan B.
Aneta (06:41)
Yeah.
John (06:42)
that's the only caveat to plan B. There's always a plan B. There's even a plan C and D and E. But you, have to have to come up with them. Nobody else is gonna come up with them for you. but yeah, that had a lot to do with it. And then eventually obviously as a teenager,
I was such an a-hole to deal with because I was angry and I didn't want to be here, didn't want to learn this, didn't like dealing with discrimination, didn't like dealing with having a new language, didn't like not having money and not dealing with not having to, know how to deal with things. I mean, that nobody likes that. Nobody wants to be an impoverished teenager,
in a country they don't know the language at.
But you gotta figure it out. You figure it through as my family kind of progressed in this country and thank God, made headway and I did the same thing and you just kinda figure one part of your story out one at a time. if the first part of your story is to go to college and start learning a new field or getting into a new field and that's what it is, and then at some point or another hopefully you'll wanna be something else, or you'll wanna do something else.
I think intellectual curiosity or maybe entrepreneurish curiosity is something that you can't necessarily teach people. It's like something that's gotta be in you. Like I've always had that kind of curiosity. I've always felt like there's something better that I could be doing. whatever is that I was doing, whether I was, working in investments in equities, whether I was, doing
equity trading or when I was launching a company or whatever. you always think about what else can I improve myself? what better version of doing this can I do better and in the future?
Aneta (08:02)
When you decided to go to school and
get your undergrad and then your MBA as well, did you always know that you wanted to be an entrepreneur?
John (08:13)
did. I just didn't know in what.
I didn't know doing what our dad was an entrepreneur. he worked for the government for a long time, but he was a lawyer by trade and then he worked for the government and then he opened up his own law office. So we've always been witness to what sort of an entrepreneurship life looks like. And he always had like
Different projects on the side and he got into different partnerships with different people, lost a lot of money, made some good money, got schnookered by people, didn't get schnookered by so I grew up around all of that. So to me it's just like it taught me to be that that's part of the story, that's part of the journey. you gotta try something different and hopefully some things will work, some things won't work, some you might lose some, you might win some, but
You just keep moving forward and hopefully you'll find a niche that will work for you and work well. And when you do that, hopefully you can double down and triple down and make it work really well for you. until it doesn't. then you have to switch gears again.
Aneta (09:01)
I'm curious about this idea that you said there's a myth of balance. Can you tell me a little bit more about that?
John (09:08)
so I'm very contrarian in that notion where there's society in general teaches you that balance is where everybody should strive to. we all hear it all the time. talk about work life balance and you gotta balance out your life. You gotta balance time with your family and loved ones, you gotta work but don't do too much work 'cause you don't wanna neglect the rest of your life. don't concentrate on all your life, neglect your work 'cause then you won't get ahead. Don't do that or
you gotta take up something, but don't take up too much things what I said and this is based on what I've done before is that's completely erroneous. In order for you to be extremely great at something, and not just learn it okay, but learn it at a mastery level, you have to have imbalance while you're going through that. And I talk about imbalance.
in the terms of almost like time blocking. it's gotta be done in periods. as an example, maybe you're taking on a new career. Maybe you're becoming, I don't know, a day trader, let's call it, well, you can't just all of a sudden become a day trader by dabbling in it one hour here, one hour there. You can, I guess, and you can learn it over time and it takes you years to become a day trader. If you really want to become the best day trader ever, then you gotta just pour everything into
learning it, doing it on a day-to-day basis, you gotta pour everything into it at the time that you have. And while you're doing that, you're gonna neglect other of your life. Maybe you're not gonna go to your workouts as much. Maybe you're not gonna attend yoga. maybe you're gonna spend less time with your kids. Maybe you're gonna spend time with your loved ones or significant other. and you have to be okay with that in order for you to get to the other side of whatever you're trying to accomplish or learn or master.
can you do it without that? Yes, you can, but you're not gonna get to the level of mastery and perfection no such thing as perfection, but that level that is above and beyond just doing it normal kind of level. So in order for you to get to that excellent level, you've gotta be in balance. And that imbalance could last three months, six months, a year, whatever. but it has to be timed. It can't be imbalance your entire life 'cause nobody can live that way.
but you can be imbalanced if it's calculated, if it's thought out well, if it's done in collaboration with other people, maybe go to your family and just say, Hey, listen, I'm gonna take on this new job and I'm gonna kick butt and I'm gonna pour everything I have into this for the next six months. So can you please support me while I go through this transition for the next six months? Six months from now I'll come up for air and
we'll reassess or whatever and see if it's working, if it's not working. But from now until the next six months, I have to do this like that. I have to be laser focused. I have to be dialed in. I have to be kinetic, meaning that I have to be engaged in what I'm doing all the time, every day, every hour, until I get it right. and not a lot of people can do that. I mean some people do that by nature of what they do. Some people don't do that by nature of what they do. and when I say by the nature of what they do
Meaning your job sometimes dictate you that you have to be that. I talk about like the prime example of doing something like that is like, special forces people who work in the special operations in community, those type of elite soldiers, elite operators. their life is not balanced at all. it's the complete opposite of balance. They're completely imbalanced they can be balanced and be the best Navy SEAL, the best
operator that they can be, they have to be completely imbalanced for a while, a period in their life, in order for them to produce that perfected part of themselves on the other side of it. and I just say that as an example, but it could happen with anybody. you could be an artist, you could be an entrepreneur, you could be a tech mogul, it could be a tech entrepreneur. you have to be dialed in and focused and you do it at such a dedicated level that everything else falls at a wayside for a while.
And that's why I said time blocking. For a while, that you have to it has to be your entire life. You're completely imbalanced while you're doing that. And it's okay as long as you kinda check yourself and kind of recalibrate as you go along. that's basically my concept of imbalance.
Aneta (12:48)
It's interesting because
I just heard Elizabeth Gelbert, the writer, she was just on a podcast and she was talking about this is how she approaches writing her books. So when she finds the inspiration to start a new project and to write a book, she has to say no. She said there's a huge sacrifice to her life. She says no to dinner invites, she says no to other things, she says no to travel, she says no to lots of things because she is only focused
on that.
I think that you said a couple things that I think are interesting because if we are imbalanced for really long periods of time, then we will get burned out because this is the human nature.
John (13:26)
Sure.
Aneta (13:27)
And so how do you know how long is long enough? And how do you know that you are too intense for too long and
don't allow yourself to get into a state of burnout 'cause that's not sustainable to do for too long of period of time.
John (13:44)
For sure, that's the tricky part is
Aneta (13:46)
Right.
John (13:46)
knowing how long you do it. And I started to know that you have to do it in a dedicated period of time because it didn't work for me when I did it for a long period of time. I I was imbalanced for a l we all learn and I failed miserably at
Aneta (13:53)
We all learn. Yeah.
John (13:58)
my imbalance. my imbalance costed me my marriage.
it does come at a higher price sometimes. now looking back backwards, I could have approached things differently and did it with time dedication, but that's something I learned along the way. that if you are imbalanced and you have to be imbalanced, it's okay and you still have to do that. If I was to go back and redo my life again.
I don't know if I would change a lot of things, but I would certainly loop in and communicate with people differently than I've communicated with in the past.
even looking back at my own marriage, my own former marriage, if I have communicated better, maybe got my ex wife on the right track, maybe it could have been differently. But I never live in the what if, could've, should have, would have. But I'm just saying from my own experience.
That's why I shifted and started doing things imbalanced in a more truncated way, as opposed to that's just how I'm gonna live my life for the next year. That's not possible because you'll suffer and the rest of your life will suffer and you'll end up counterproductive because then you'll just burn yourself out, as you
aptly said.
Aneta (14:53)
Yeah. Yeah. And
also I'm glad you brought up the idea of the relationships too. If you are in a relationship, which we're all in some relationship with somebody, and partnerships, of course, it has to be something that works for others as well, because it is a huge sacrifice when we are so intense and focused in on one thing. But I love the idea that you shared
about the mindset around failures. And so you've talked a couple of times about things that maybe didn't go as well. Two thousand and eight, you talk a little bit about, maybe the marriage. And so what have you learned or when did you form your opinions about the fact that these failures or things that are perceived as failures are actually just part of the growth process?
John (15:35)
They are. they can't be failure without success. In fact it can't be success without failure, one way or the other. I'm sure plenty of people have heard that. But people still approach failure in a negative way even right now, when the word failure comes up to a lot of people, they think negative thoughts. when the word failure comes up, they think, yeah, I like that.
I would like some failure because I want to learn. But that's not how people think about it. I'm not saying that's how you should think about it, but you should definitely reframe there's a reframing around failure if you're going to pursue something, especially I pair it with the idea of imbalance that I talk about a lot because that's inevitably gonna be part of it. As you're imbalanced, as you're pursuing something so doggedly.
Inevitably there's gonna be failures in your life. And you there's gonna be a lot of failures in your life. there might be failures on a day to day basis. we all experience them. Sometimes they manifest themselves in smaller things, whether your car didn't start, or whether you just didn't put gas in your car, whether you didn't step into the right store, or whether you showed up at the meeting you didn't prepare, whatever. these are small failures that happen during our life on a day to day basis. but they all
teach us something.
They all are teachable moments. for us. I personally love it when I encounter a failure because that teaches me like, hey, this is another way for me to recalibrate and do it differently next time. And now I know what not to do. Now I know that if I do it this way, this will be the result. Let me try this other way so I can produce a different result. you know who loves failures and not necessarily love them but thrive with failures is scientists.
Scientists are the are the perfect, especially research scientists,
Aneta (16:57)
Right.
John (16:59)
because they have to fail by nature so many times in order for them to eventually to a result that works. scientists sometimes fail for years on whatever they're working. thousands of errors, thousands
Aneta (17:09)
And
John (17:09)
of failures that they experience. All they need is just one win in order for them
Aneta (17:13)
Right.
John (17:13)
to produce whatever they're working on.
So the same concept applies. and it's just a reframing process that we have to go through because a lot of people when they encounter one or two or three failures, they're just like, screw it, I'm done. that's just not worth doing then. When they could be just one more failures away from attaining whatever it is that they're trying to accomplish. They just have to try it one more time and do it differently the next time.
Aneta (17:40)
Yeah. It's interesting you brought up scientists because you think of, the scientists always work with assumptions, a hypothesis. And
John (17:48)
Yeah.
Aneta (17:49)
if it doesn't work out, they learn more, they make adjustments, they refine it. Why do you think that we don't approach life in the same way as humans? Many humans don't. Many are seeking comfort and stability and things that feel much better to
our human nature.
John (18:05)
Yeah.
Yeah. honestly because I think that a lot of people just don't approach life with the right mindset. a lot of people let failure or discomfort kind of get to their own ego, and think, I'm gonna look terrible to this if I do this.
people are gonna tell me you shouldn't have done this. If I do this again, I'm gonna look bad in front of my tears. if I do this and don't succeed, it's gonna be horrible on me. and my family's gonna hate screw all that. Who cares? And but that thing that's what stops the majority of people from embracing that concept. Because all of what I just said that I said screw it to,
That's a huge deal for a lot of people. Like for people to have the approval of their peers or friends or family and for them to be doing something that might invoke a rebuff of their effort or some kind of negative connotation of what they're doing, they don't like that. It makes them very uncomfortable and it makes them go inwards and it makes them think
I'm at failure, then they internalize failure into their own and it just catapults from there. And when I work with people in coaching or whatever, like I work with them from a standpoint of where do you want to get to? Like, okay, let's start with like what is the worst case scenario? Like now, give me a list of 10 worst possible things that could happen if you pursue this, and give me a list of 10 best things that could happen if you decide to pursue this.
And let's tackle these list of worst thing that what could possibly happen. Like, well, my friends are gonna hate me. Okay, so what? Like can you not get new friends? Are they gonna come back around? Yes. Or my family's gonna hate me. Are they really gonna hate you forever? Or is that what you're telling yourself? Did you actually talk to them to find out if how they feel about that, or did you just make kind of go through one by one? And what I found predominantly is most objections and most negative lists that people have for themselves
are just fictitious. it's just in their own mind. It's in their own head. it's stories that we tell ourselves all the time that justifies us either stopping or taking the first failure and running or not trying hard enough or giving up or quitting.
Aneta (20:00)
Yeah. I do a similar fear exercise with clients as well in coaching and I find there's usually less than five because many of them are repeat. And when you really get into asking more probing questions, like you said, and really understanding where these thoughts come from,
you just diffuse them even during the conversation that you can see that they start to actually apply some critical thinking and they're like, well actually maybe that's not true. But it is just things that we tell ourselves that prevents us from moving forward or taking the next step. Tell me more about you I know you coach clients, but you also have a 12 week cohort called Forha. Tell us a little bit more about that. Like who are your clients and how do you work with them?
John (20:41)
Yeah.
Yeah, we have a coaching program for commercial real estate industry. So my normal business is running a private equity company that we have a fund and now our holdings are closing in on close to a billion dollars and our assets that we have in our management. But we have a coaching program just for commercial real estate for people that want get into different massive commercial our first release is for multifamily, which is essentially learning how to own, operate, invest in apartment complexes.
Aneta (21:04)
Uh-huh.
John (21:05)
or
residential properties in general, but mostly apartment complexes. So a lot of people wanting to get into that business or want to operate in that business. So we have a 12 week cohort program that just teaches people from our own experience, which we still do on a day-to-day basis, how to identify, explore, acquire, raise money for, do the capital raise, underwrite, underwrite.
underwrite. So say underwrite three times because that's a huge part of what we do in order for you to understand the numbers and the risks and then hopefully get a project done under your belt. And our program is good for people who are somewhat newish in the industry, not brand, brand new because we can't work with people that just don't have anything under their belt at all.
Aneta (21:44)
Mm.
John (21:45)
to people that are have been in the industry for a while and they just want to take their game to the next level and maybe become more institutionally driven.
So we work with a variety of people in that program for twelve weeks and it's a twelve week program and then they have access to the information and other cohorts throughout the year. So what they pay for the twelve weeks is get a membership for a whole year and they can come in and out of auditing their the sessions anytime they want.
Aneta (22:08)
How long have you been doing that program?
John (22:11)
We actually did a version of it a couple of years ago, my partner and I, but we did it more sort of one on one, more dedicated coaching. We just simply didn't have the time.
Aneta (22:18)
Mm-hmm. Sure.
John (22:20)
A, it was too expensive for people. the audience was too little who could afford that to be one on one with my partner and I. and B it just took up a lot of time. and that's why we stopped it a couple of years ago, because
we were starting to get more activity in our fund and our fundraising and our acquisitions and we just couldn't do it. We couldn't coach ten students, twelve students during the week and still operate our normal private equity business like we should be. so we stopped it and now we're launching this new new program, relaunching it I guess now. we just launched actually about a week ago or so launching it now in the form of cohorts, meaning that
Yes, you won't get us one on one, but the cohorts are small. we're trying to keep them ten to twelve person per cohort. so you'll get access to us in the cohort, but then if you want more dedicated time with us, there's an option for that as well in the program to get more access to us. It comes with a dedicated hours, like I think it comes with six hours or something like that dedicated to you can have with one on one with my partner and I. Yeah.
Aneta (23:14)
okay. that's
wonderful. And do those start at specific times of the year or is it evergreen? People can join anytime.
John (23:22)
they start at specific times of the year. Our first one is coming up is gonna be in November and the next one after that it's usually runs twelve week cycles. So the next one after that is probably in not quite twelve weeks. We usually sometimes there's an overlap,
Aneta (23:31)
Yeah. Need a little break.
John (23:33)
so it's probably January, February is the next one. Yeah.
Aneta (23:36)
Okay. wonderful. Excellent.
And we'll include the link for that. I also know that you are an author and you just released an entrepreneur anthology. So tell us more about that. And where is it available?
John (23:49)
Yeah, thank you. the Anthrop Onthology is a co-authored thing. I contributed a chapter, there's several chapters it's a collaboration between fifteen entrepreneurs if I'm not mistaken. fifteen or sixteen entrepreneurs. We all have our own chapter. my chapter is about imbalance and failure, obviously, as that's where a lot of my speeches are and my coaching as.
they could be ordered now, digital but they will be available at Barnes and Noble and bookstores, I think, in end of the month, end of this month, beginning of November.
Aneta (24:18)
Okay, wonderful. Definitely have to check that out. And then you said you're also writing your own book. It's gonna come out next year, is that correct?
John (24:26)
Yeah, yeah. Hopefully Q one next year. and that's gonna be all about the concept of failure and imbalance and utilizing those concepts to kind of recharge your life, or think differently about your life.
Aneta (24:37)
Mm-hmm.
John (24:38)
And that's coming out next year. That's gonna be a full book. that is just me.
Aneta (24:42)
Wonderful. What have you learned about yourself in the writing process?
John (24:46)
That writing is hard. It takes a lot of dedication.
Aneta (24:49)
Yes, it is.
John (24:51)
It takes a lot of dedication. It takes a lot of time blocking and it takes a lot of attention and dedication. I learned that I have to approach it like anything else, almost like taking supplements or vitamins. you have to dedicate an hour or half an hour a day and just sit down and just block everything out and just write for an hour. because if you don't do that it's never gonna happen. Especially if if you're like me,
you're running a company, you have programs coming out, you're running multiple companies and you have this and that if you don't sit down and dedicate a time to do that writing process, obviously I'm not a full time writer. maybe I will be someday, but I'm not yet. I have to be very cognizant of how I can time block my time to write.
Aneta (25:22)
Yeah.
Absolutely. Yeah, it's interesting. when I write, I always have a practice as well. I tend to like to do it first thing in the morning and I always have to give myself at least an hour. I'm like, I'm gonna write for an hour and whether it's good or not, whether I get a couple pages or I get twenty, I don't know. But just the dedication, I think, in the practice is really helpful. What did you find works for you best? Did you have a specific time? Did you write in a specific room? Like anything? Rituals.
John (25:50)
I
find that a lot of times I do better when I start writing on paper. Like I have a lot of notebooks like that. that I carry around. So
I find that it's helpful for me to r start writing some thoughts on paper and then kind of transport them into a computer or a laptop or whatever. so I do a lot of writing that way where it starts out like a couple of thoughts on paper, then I transfer and start writing like page or two on my laptop.
don't know, I'm still learning. So if you have any tips or tricks, I'm always happy to learn.
Aneta (26:16)
I
think it really is test and learn and see what works. I have a playlist that I listen to. It's like the same really kind of gentle music in the background that I hear the first song and I immediately know it's time to write. Like it's the only time I listen to it, which is creation time. So that's really helpful. And I like first thing in the morning when it's still dark out, like really early, no one's awake. For me it's when I'm most creative and most focused.
But,
my daughter's an artist, she loves to work late at night. That's when she's most creative. So I think it just depends on you and just experiment and try new things. And once you find something,
John (26:53)
Yeah, yeah.
Aneta (26:54)
maybe you stick with it and other people get bored and they have to switch it up all the time. I'm a creature of habit.
John (26:58)
I'm sure.
Aneta (26:59)
I'm like, I'm gonna do it here because this is where it works best for me.
John (27:04)
I'm sure. No,
and I'm probably gonna be similar to you 'cause I'm not a night creature. Like by nine o'clock,
Aneta (27:08)
No.
John (27:09)
nine thirty, I'm wilting. So I'm just not producing much out of me at nine thirty, ten o'clock at night. So
Aneta (27:12)
No. Yeah. Yeah. No. It's exciting.
I'm excited to see. Do you have a working title you can share or is that still a secret?
John (27:21)
I do, I do. if I can say it it's gonna be the word F, the F word, but
Aneta (27:27)
Okay.
John (27:28)
F to odds. So it's gonna the title of the book is F to odds. So
Aneta (27:32)
All right. Well, I
think that'll stand out. I think people will get noticed for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. And John, I know you
John (27:37)
It's it's F with like the you know, the parentheses in between kind of thing, but yeah. So
Aneta (27:44)
you also, you're also a speaker. So do you have a signature talk also focused on imbalance and failure? Or do you have other things that you like to speak
John (27:51)
Yeah.
Aneta (27:52)
about?
John (27:53)
Yeah, generally I have four or five different speeches that I usually concentrate on when I talk about imbalance and failure. It just depends on what direction that we think wherever I'm speaking, if I'm speaking at a university or if I'm speaking at a corporation, it's gonna be probably differently depending on the audience. So I I kinda tailor my speeches that way. It depends on what I want the audience to get out of it or walk away from. if I'm speaking into a group of
I don't know, finance professionals that work for a large finance company, I'm probably gonna speak to them about something differently or approach my speech differently than I will if I'm speaking to a bunch of college students so the message is gonna be tailored differently and the results and the outcome and the actual practical exercises that I also do for them are gonna be different from if you're a student or whether you're, finance professional.
Aneta (28:37)
Sure, sure. Do you think it's possible or what have you discovered in terms of once we make that mindset shift around failure and people feel more comfortable? Do you still feel like there's certain areas of life where maybe that doesn't cross over, where people are still very protective about some areas of life versus others?
John (28:55)
of course. I mean goodness, we're human. I'm affected by it all the time. nobody likes rejections and failure. That's not something that people wake up in the morning think, yay, I'm gonna experience failure and rejection today. that's not something that's anybody wants to think of it positively.
But yeah, I'm like anybody else. sometimes I let things get me down too much. I catastrophize a lot sometimes. I always have to keep myself in check about like well, what if that doesn't happen and this doesn't happen, this doesn't happen, if this doesn't happen, then my life is all going to hell. But of course life doesn't go to hell, but you know.
Aneta (29:22)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
John (29:25)
so I have to keeping checking that. I still work through my own
imposter balance issues is you know, so
Aneta (29:30)
Yeah.
John (29:30)
I a lot of times and that's something that's always plagued me my entire life, whether it's like I belong in this room or do I not belong in this room.
or belong in this deal or don't belong in this deal, or should I feel be feeling good about myself doing this or so I mean these are existential issues that all of us grapple with, whether you're successful or not successful.
Aneta (29:46)
Yeah. I think it's so important to mention that because I think if anyone's listening and they think, well, John is confident and he's worked through these things. But I think it's important to recognize this isn't one and done. It's definitely something that we work on always. And maybe some areas of life are easier. Maybe some other ones are the ones that where we have more stories, more
things to to overcome. Yeah.
John (30:06)
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah,
I tell everybody I'm a work in progress, man. every day I'm a work in progress. I am as
Aneta (30:12)
Absolutely.
John (30:12)
imperfect as any human can be. We are all imperfect. It's just a matter of how we use those imperfections and make them
Aneta (30:18)
Mm.
John (30:18)
beautiful.
Aneta (30:19)
Yeah, absolutely. Well said. John, if folks want to work with you, they want to learn more about either hiring you to speak or maybe they're curious about your twelve week cohort or learning more about your businesses, where can they find you? What's the best way to get in touch with you?
John (30:33)
Yeah.
I know I appreciate that. I'm pretty easy to find. I'm on Instagram, JJ Azar, John Azar. but my handle is JJ Azar on Instagram. I'm on LinkedIn also under John Azar or Jalal, John Azar, Jalal's my first name. you can go to joinforha dot com. That's our coaching program. It's called join for ha and forha is f O R J A. or our website is peakfifteencap.com, our normal
private equity website is peak fifteen cap dot com.
or email me directly even. my email is Azar at peak fifteen cap dot com.
Aneta (31:03)
Wonderful. We'll include all the links and to make it easy for folks. And John, I asked the final question, which is what does it mean to you to live the width of your life?
John (31:14)
to not take yourself too seriously and to always, always just keep moving forward. that's what it takes to live the lure to your life. For me is never take yourself too seriously. I laugh at myself all the time. because life is funny and hard, but a lot of times it's funny. It's just funny. you look around you and you're like it's just hilarious. Like humans are funny.
themselves and am one of them. So I find
Aneta (31:35)
Yeah.
John (31:36)
my so I crack myself up all the time and that's what I do. but also I never think of stopping. There's no such thing as stopping in life because life doesn't stop, for anybody. We have to just keep finding a way to keep paddling down that river, as they say.
Aneta (31:49)
Thank you, John. I really appreciated your time today and I wish you continued success.
John (31:54)
Thank you so much. Appreciate you. Thanks so much for having me here.