How Hope Helped Sara Im Survive Genocide and Rebuild a Life of Purpose
[00:00:00] Sara: In 1975, a communist group took over the country. I was not able to go home to be with my family. The communist regime evacuated the people from all the cities, and I was evacuated and was put in the work camp, miserable, starving, exhausted, sick, and tired.
But I still have hope that one of these days, I will be able to go back home to be with my family. I try to hold on during the four long years in the work camp. That was extremely hard for everyone, but I was able to hold on not to die because of my hope that I could be with my loved one.
[00:00:48] Aneta: We often hear people wishing us a long, happy, and healthy life, but what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breath depth and purpose of each day that matters most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian Kuzma, and join me weekly as I interview guests who made changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention, gratitude, and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.
Welcome back to Live the With of Your Life podcast. My guest this week is Sara Im. Sara grew up in Cambodia, where she survived four years of captivity, a mass genocide that claimed about 2 million lives, which was a quarter of the Cambodian population. Through her faith, her resilience, she escaped, she fled to America. Graduated from college and wrote an award-winning inspirational book called How I Survived The Killing Fields. And now she speaks and inspires others to have hope, courage, and a positive perspective in life. She's also the owner of Smart Healthy Living, which is a wellness business. This was such a powerful conversation.
For someone who went through what Sarah went through. I just found her heart to be so open, so light, so full of love, so full of inspiration for others. And she really is one of these examples of the power of the human spirit, not just to overcome, but then to take what you've gone through, even the difficult times, and use it for good in this world. It was such an amazing conversation. I can't wait to read her book, and I hope you enjoy the conversation. Take a listen.
Sara, thank you so much for joining me today. I'm so excited to have you here on the show.
[00:02:38] Sara: Aneta, it is my pleasure to be here with you. Thank you.
[00:02:42] Aneta: Yeah. I really wanna get into your story. I know that you have this mission on your heart to inspire others through your own experiences, so for those who maybe aren't as familiar with your background and your story, can you just take us back to how things began?
[00:03:02] Sara: I want to start from where I went to college when I went to college far away from home in 1975, all of a sudden there was a communist group took over the country and they shut down all the transportation I was not able to go home to be with my family and the communist regime evacuate the people from all the city, and I was evacuated and was put in the work camp and miserable, starving, exhausted and sick, and tired.
But I still have hope that one of these days, I will be able to go back home to be with my family. I try to hold on during the four long years in the work camp. That was extremely hard for everyone, but I was able to hold on not to die because of my hope that I could be with my loved one.
[00:04:08] Aneta: So you were in college. How old were you when you were taken out? When the rash regime came in, and you had to go work in these work camps. What did they tell you? What was that like when they closed the schools, and they took all the students?
[00:04:24] Sara: They told us to leave the house. They don't want us to live in the city anymore.
[00:04:28] Aneta: Okay. And then you guys were all transported together, like you with your friends and your classmates? You said you went from the city to these work camps. So what was that like? How did they take everyone?
[00:04:42] Sara: I went with my uncle's family, and we walked for a long time. And when we got to a remote village, they also transported me to the other place. They want to fill people everywhere.
And they want to put people to work at different locations. So when they came to the city, the school was already shut down because they came during the holiday, the New Year's celebration, so the school was not in session, so I was not with my classmate.
[00:05:23] Aneta: Wow. So, did you have any communication at all with your family before you had to go to these work camps?
[00:05:32] Sara: No. It was a sudden takeover. Shut down everything. And then all the bus line was shut down, and there was no place for me to make a phone call. By then, we didn't have a cell phone, so even the letter, I couldn't even send the letter. So there was no communication. We don't know each other.
[00:05:59] Aneta: That must have been frightening and isolating. Did you know anybody in your work camp? Did you recognize anyone else?
[00:06:08] Sara: No, not at all. But we begin to make friends with one another.
[00:06:15] Aneta: What were those conditions like? How many hours did you have to work? Were you working in the fields, or what were you specifically tasked with?
[00:06:23] Sara: We work in the field. Rice field in the heat. So, Cambodia is a tropical country. When it's hot, it's very hot,
[00:06:34] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:06:35] Sara: And we work in that hot sun all day long, like about 15 hours a day.
[00:06:43] Aneta: Wow.
[00:06:44] Sara: And we receive very little food, very little, and most men have a hard time surviving with that little food. We women, we don't eat as much as men. We survive more of us survive more than the men.
[00:07:04] Aneta: Wow. They give you guys the same amount of food regardless.
[00:07:07] Sara: Yeah.
[00:07:09] Aneta: Do you think it was just physical, or was there any difference in terms of the mental strength between the people that survived and those that didn't?
[00:07:18] Sara: Definitely. It's not just the physical.
[00:07:22] Aneta: How did you survive? What was going through your mind? As you mentioned, wanting to see your family again, but what kept you going because you didn't know how long you were gonna be there?
[00:07:32] Sara: No, I don't know. But I have hope. The one thing I know is that I did not give up hope. I hope that thing will change, and I just imagine that it will change because I don't believe that we can live this way forever.
[00:07:52] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:07:53] Sara: Things will change. So that gave me hope, and also my love for my mom gave me more courage because this is something that I didn't mention earlier. My mom had an accident, and she became paralyzed for almost four years. And I am the oldest daughter. I was taking care of my mother. And my love for her, I did not do it with grumbling. I do it with my love. I really want my mom to get well again. So my service, my care for my mom build us a very strong relationship.
We developed a strong, loving bond. That love bond, it was like a lifeline for me during my hard time.
[00:08:48] Aneta: Isn't that amazing how, even if you're not physically connected with someone, like not in the same space, it's that emotional bond, that love from your heart that kept you going. It reminds me of Viktor Frankl, who went through his own experience and talked about the difference between those who survived and those who didn't in the concentration camps.
And we know that the regime that came in killed millions of people in Cambodia. What was it like after the four years? What happened after four years? Were you just released suddenly one day? Because I can't imagine that you knew when things would change. You had this hope, but you didn't know how long it would take.
[00:09:29] Sara: Yes, for four years into this situation, the country was liberated, but I was not liberated. The group that controls my group pushes us into the jungle. They know that something is happening. The group that came to liberate us was the Vietnamese group.
Yeah. Toward the end of four years, there was something strange going on, and the guard that guard our group pushed us into the jungle, and we didn't know about the liberation, but I knew that I didn't want to live in the jungle with them. So I plan an escape. I gathered three of my good friends and asked them to see if they wanted to escape with me because I was too frail.
I was sick so many times, very sick, and became very skinny. So I need some support. So I asked my friend, and they agreed to escape. So with them, we did escape through the jungle, and thank goodness, God must have been watching us and protecting us in the jungle. So we, yes, came out free. When we got out of the jungle, we saw people walking, and we were so surprised. Why are these people walking freely? I didn't know about the liberation.
[00:11:04] Aneta: Oh my gosh. So you are in the jungle. You're experiencing these harsh conditions. You are there for a while. You finally got the courage to say, okay, let's try to make a run for it. Not knowing what you would find, but just assuming maybe it would be better than where you were. So how long was a country liberated before you knew, before you made that escape?
[00:11:29] Sara: It's about four months.
[00:11:31] Aneta: Four months. And how did you find your way back home? What were you able to do? How far away from home were you when you came out of the jungle?
[00:11:40] Sara: I was not that far, but because of the armed guard that they are watching us everywhere with their gun. It seems so far away. We were afraid to do anything. But finally, at the end of the jungle, we get out, and when I see people walking, I ask them the direction to go to my hometown, so they tell us where to go. So we just follow the direction, and we walk and walk. A long walk.
[00:12:14] Aneta: Did you find your mother at home when you got there?
[00:12:17] Sara: Not at home. They have been displaced, and their home was destroyed
[00:12:22] Aneta: How did you know where to find her? How did you find each other?
[00:12:26] Sara: I couldn't find them, and then I realized, I remember my aunt, one of my aunts, was the nurse a long time ago, and I thought about her. I said, maybe she's in the hospital. I went to the hospital looking for her. Good thing thatthe hospital is in operation. They are working, they open now.
So sure, I found her at the hospital, and she told me to go to her house. She told me where her house is, and one of her daughters took me to my family.
[00:12:59] Aneta: That is so amazing. And what was that reunion like when you and your mother were able to embrace again?
[00:13:05] Sara: It's amazing. My mom was so excited, and my dad was not home. I asked her, where is Dad? She said he rides the bicycle everywhere, asking people if they found me. He asks people, have you found my daughter? Have you met my daughter? Have you seen my daughter? Everywhere.
[00:13:31] Aneta: I have goosebumps all over my body thinking about that, and I can't even imagine how hard it was for him not have found you, but also for you to know that he was looking for you. They never lost hope.
[00:13:46] Sara: No, and my mom told me later on, long time later she told me when I came see her the first time, she didn't recognize me because I just, so I was so out of shape. She said the only thing she recognized was my voice and my forehead.
[00:14:06] Aneta: Only a mother would notice those things. What was it like to integrate back? First of all, it's not the same country, it's not the same society; people have gone through so much. What was it like for you to integrate back into a home life? I don't know if I can use the word freedom.
I don't know what that felt like to you, to not have the armed guards, at least for not having to work, for being able to eat again, like what was it like to integrate, and then how long did it take for you to start to feel safe again? I don't even know if you felt safe.
[00:14:46] Sara: We enjoy reunion and I enjoy all the food that my mom prepares for me. She had everything, all fresh vegetables, fresh fruit. All organic, and I keep eating, and then I was thinking, I don't mind if I become fat. I'd rather be fat than skinny and exhausted all the time. So it took me about a whole year, about a whole year, to finally get my energy back.
I look like a normal person, like a single woman that I lost all my weight. I look 95 years old, but I finally recovered to a young woman again, and I still do not feel safe enough. Safe by living with family, but not safe in terms of the whole country, because everything was destroyed. There's no infrastructure.
[00:15:54] Aneta: What did you find out from your parents about their experience while you were gone? What were they experiencing when their home was destroyed and not having their daughter with them?
[00:16:08] Sara: They were evacuated as well. They were not allowed to stay home. But because their family I have, my youngest brother was only like four or five years old, so they could live as a family for a while. And then later on, my dad was separated from work in the camp. And my brother, who's next to me, has become a young man.
They also separate him, and my other brother is still a youth, like maybe about eight or nine years old. They put him to work with the youth. So everybody went their separate ways except my mom and my baby brother.
[00:16:59] Aneta: Were you all reunited?
[00:17:01] Sara: Yes. When I came back home, we all reunited.
[00:17:04] Aneta: That's amazing. That's a blessing. What did you do? I know you made your way to the States at some point. When did you come to the United States?
[00:17:15] Sara: After a year recovering from my sickness. My mom encouraged me to live. It breaks her heart to let me go again. And it broke my heart to have to leave my family again. But my mom thinks that because it's not safe to stay wherever you are. So she pushed me out. She said, you need to leave to go find my cousin.
I have a cousin who went to the United States. You look for him. So we live not too far from the Thai border. So I went through the Thai border and crossed the border. It's a very dangerous journey, but I went with somebody that my mom trusts, so we crossed the border. Thank goodness, no harm. Some people lost their life during crossing the border.
[00:18:12] Aneta: Yeah. When did you go? Was it the middle of the night? Did you plan your exit?
[00:18:17] Sara: Yeah, I left from home during the night also, and then when we get close to the border, we stay until nighttime, and then we walk across the border. A very dangerous border.
[00:18:33] Aneta: How were you received when you made it into Thailand? How did you make it out of Thailand and into the States? Did you go to an embassy, or what was the pathway to get here?
[00:18:43] Sara: Thank goodness I was held by for four years after the liberation. So that was, I think, maybe God's plan, that I was not supposed to be the first one to get out of Cambodia because the first several thousand people died. But when the time that I arrived, the United Nations found out about the flood of refugee get out of Cambodia. So they built a refugee camp. So yeah, by the time I arrived at the Thai border, there was a refugee camp, so I found that camp.
[00:19:23] Aneta: Wow. Amazing. How long were you at the camp before you were able to make it to the States?
[00:19:28] Sara: A little more than a year.
Yeah.
[00:19:31] Aneta: Yeah. How were the conditions there?
[00:19:33] Sara: Not too bad. We have enough food. Life is acceptable.
[00:19:38] Aneta: Life is acceptable. It's just reframing. How old were you at this age, Sara, when you were in the camp?
[00:19:45] Sara: Let's see, about 26.
[00:19:48] Aneta: It's a lot of life that you experienced for a young person in their twenties. Especially when you went away to the university, and you find yourself in dire circumstances. But you talk about hope, and I know that you wrote a book. And you said that it's how I survived the killing field.
So tell me a little bit about when you wrote the book, why you wrote the book, because I know that you are speaking a lot about what happened to you, with the hope of being able to assist others who may be going through difficult circumstances. Tell me a little bit about the book and why you wrote it.
[00:20:25] Sara: Yeah, the title of the book is Say, How I Survive The Killing Field: A Story Of Hope, Love, and Determination. So I just want to tell people that it's not just me alone that make it through. There are so many components that bear me up. When the hard times come. I was able to be strong enough to sustain it.
I really think that building up resiliency for our lives is really important. Sometimes we cannot see that a bad thing could ever happen in our lives, but we better be prepared for it. For me, I did not prepare for it, but it happened because my mom had an accident. I was able to serve her, to take care of her, and build up a love relationship with her, so that one component of being resilient is to have love, to have a relationship, to be positive.
So. My life was full of positivity. I did not consider my mom's illness; it's not a distraction. It's something that happened. So that I can build my own resiliency. So that's how I look at life. Before I wrote my book, I had somebody who liked my presentation about healthy living and all that. She encouraged me to write a book, and I told her no, I don't have qualification to write such a very a knowledge based book, but I came back to her. I said, I have something to write about, my story. That can be very helpful to people.
[00:22:20] Aneta: Absolutely, and it's such a powerful story, but you have such a tender heart, Sara, and my question is, sometimes when difficult things happen, we can harden ourselves, we can close ourselves off from other humans, or become distrustful. And because of the trauma, because of what you experienced, how were you able to have such a tender, loving heart and the courage to be able to talk about your story?
[00:22:50] Sara: Thank you for that statement. When I look back on my life, even during the hard times, I remember there are a lot of people who helped me during those hard times. In the work camp, when I was so sick, I became blind; they call it night blindness. You cannot see anything at night.
No matter how close you are to the light, you cannot see it. So when I need to go out to the bathroom, there is no regular bathroom. You had to go to the outhouse far away from where you sleep, and I could not do that by myself. I reach out to my neighbor, my friend that work together. I call them like, God sister.
I tap on their shoulder. Please help me. So they hold my hand, leave me to do what I need to do. So I realize, even though I survive, and so I could be proud of myself, but there are people who help me along the way. When I needed to escape, I did not do it myself. I did not do it alone.
I have people go with me. I realize that people are very important. We cannot ignore that part.
[00:24:10] Aneta: Yeah. Connection is so important. Were you able to ever reunite with any of the friends that you've made in the camp?
[00:24:20] Sara: I met two or three of them. One of them lived in California, and she searched. She did the search, and she found me, and she reached out to me, and we were so excited. We were able to talk by phone, and then finally we saw each other two years ago.
[00:24:41] Aneta: Wow. Amazing that you were able to find each other again, and what was that reunion like when you guys were able to connect and to see each other outside of those circumstances?
[00:24:55] Sara: We are very happy. We are happy for each other. Yes, we remind about a hard time, but we remember a friendship, and we love each other.
[00:25:09] Aneta: Yeah. Sarah, what is the message that you hope people find when they read your book?
[00:25:15] Sara: I hope that my book will help them to have strength, to have courage, to have hope, and after all, have love. Love for family, love for people around them, because we cannot live, we cannot achieve everything by ourselves. We need people around us.
[00:25:39] Aneta: That's so true. The process of writing the book, was it healing in any way for you?
[00:25:46] Sara: For me, it is healing. I let everything out on the paper. And it was healing also to help me think back. A lot of them I already forgot, and until my friend asked me, what happened. So those questions help me remember how I was able to escape the jungle. I forgot all about that until she asked me what happened.
[00:26:15] Aneta: Amazing. Sara, if folks want to purchase your book, or they want to hear you speak, or just learn more about your wellness company, what's the best way for them to get in touch with you?
[00:26:26] Sara: The best way to get in touch with me is to go to my website, saraim.com, S-A-R-A-I m.com, and I'm also very active on LinkedIn. Just look for my name. I will be there
[00:26:48] Aneta: And I ask all my guests a final question, Sara, which is, what does it mean to you to live the width of your life?
[00:26:56] Sara: For me to live the width of my life is about sharing the knowledge, sharing the encouragement, inspiration, and hope to help people live brighter, help shed the light on people so that they can get out of darkness.
[00:27:18] Aneta: That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story so generously. Thank you for making this amazing, beautiful impact in the world, and I just wish you continued success and lots of peace. I know you're already impacting lives. So, continued success with that.
[00:27:36] Sara: Thank you so much, Aneta. Thanks for having me, and I appreciate you and all your questions. It's very helpful to me.
[00:27:46] Aneta: Wonderful. Thank you.
Thank you for listening to today's episode. If today's conversation inspired you to dream again, break out of your comfort zones or reflect on what it means to you to live more fully, then please follow this podcast because every week you'll hear more stories from people just like you who took imperfect action towards their goals, created more joy and are living the life that they always dreamt of living.