Episode 12: Create a lasting legacy through service with Brian Hatfield
Podcast Introduction
We often hear people wishing us a long, happy, and healthy life. But what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breath, depth, and purpose of each day that matters most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian kuzma. Join me weekly as I interview guests who make changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention, gratitude, and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.
Guest Bio
Today's guest is Brian Hatfield, a recruiter, and volunteer from Phoenix, Arizona. Brian is an early riser who starts each day with a healthy mindset, a proud member of the LGBTQ plus community, an adopted parent to a special needs kiddo who loves the outdoors, and especially exploring hiking trails and the national parks. At work, relationships are paramount and he considers himself lucky to afford a successful career and the people's business in the community. He is a relentless do-gooder who loves to take on a worthy cause and prides himself on building lifelong personal and professional relationships. He's an active volunteer who'd instead paint a wall than sit on a committee. He has many organizations that are near and dear to his heart, and I am so lucky to call him a dear friend for the last 30 years. Welcome today, Brian.
Interview
[00:00:00] Aneta: Brian, thank you so much for joining today. How are you doing?
[00:00:07] Brian Hatfield: I am doing pretty fantastic. I live in Phoenix, Arizona and it is starting to cool down a little bit. September is still not fall season, but the mornings are cooler, so I am able to do those things that I like to do that keep me happy and healthy. Starting with my morning walks and my morning routine. So, it's nice to have a break in the heat and we're entering the beautiful season here in.
[00:00:31] Aneta: Well, we had crazy thunderstorms this morning in Cleveland. I was teaching meditation and it sounded like somebody was in my home. Upstairs I was in the basement and I came upstairs. It was just thunder and lightning. So, that interrupted my morning walk this morning. But, it happens with the change of season.
[00:00:49] Brian Hatfield: Hard to meditate with thunder outside, right?
[00:00:52] Aneta: It was a little distracting. Well, Brian, you and I met and it's so hard for me to believe the sophomore year of college, which I know that for those that are watching, it'll be hard to believe, but was over 30 years ago. Is that not crazy to you? Right? Yes. And I am so grateful that we met and that we have been able to maintain and nurture our relationship throughout the years through all of these everything that life brings our way. So, for those that don't know you, will you share a little bit more about your background? You shared that you live in Arizona, but what else would you like to share about yourself?
[00:01:27] Brian Hatfield: Yeah, so I grew up in a kind of working-class family in Dayton, Ohio. As you mentioned, we went to Miami University together, and I've moved around quite a bit in my life. So I've lived in Phoenix, Arizona, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Dallas. This is my second stint in Phoenix, actually. So I've been here long enough that I consider it home. I love the desert. I love the outdoors. Opportunities that this state affords. I'm a part of the LGBTQ community and I have a special neat son who I adopted almost six years ago. His name's Tristan.
[00:02:02] Aneta: Thanks for sharing that. I remember, I don’t know if you remember this when you came to visit before you and Steve adopted Tristan and you guys were over for dinner. You were visiting friends in Cleveland and you talked about it, and you showed me your book that you and Steve were looking to adopt and wanted to create a family. We talked a little bit about some of the challenges or concerns you had just being in the state of Arizona and then soon after that, you were able to bring Tristan home. So, for those that might be considering adoption or maybe are interested in your journey, will you share a little bit more about that experience with us?
[00:02:40] Brian Hatfield: Yeah, I'd be happy. So Steve and I got married right after marriage equality passed. It was pretty soon after that we decided we wanted to start a family. So, in those early years of our relationship in my marriage things were just kind of coming fast and furiously. So Steve decided to start a company. He left his job. We had second mortgages on the house. We had a second mortgage on his dad's house. Like we were just going, or he was going through this very entrepreneurial state in his career and everything just worked out, fabulously. He started the company, but it was acquired by another company and we had just decided that we had the love and the resources to start a family. So we went through the adoption process. We were in our forties at that time, and one of the things that we had figured out two things early on is, number one we wanted to adopt an older child because older children are less likely to get adopted, right? So once a kid reaches about five years old, the chances of him or her getting adopted are slim to nod. And then secondly, like just being in our forties, we needed an end game, right? So, we didn't want too young because we still have personal goals that we want to accomplish. So as we were going through that process, I really threw myself into the adoption community through my volunteerism, through my activism, and if I did anything right during that time, was I just built a network, or a community probably a better word. I build a community around me of people that really supported us and championed us. At one point, when you're going through the adoption process, it can be a little bit like shopping, right? So you can say, I want a boy or a girl or what age group? Even what race you would consider and we were pretty much open to everything except special needs in all honesty. We didn't know if we had the resources to do that. I became involved with this group called Foster Arizona, and they were having a kids' connection of that at a local zoo. So we volunteered to kind of be hosts for kids that were in group homes. So just by chance or by luck, Steve and I were paired with about a dozen kids that were living in a group home that were all special needs kids, mostly on the autism spectrum. Right? It was a life-changing day for us. So, just by chance one of the little kiddos kind of had attached to me, one had attached to Steve, and we had just this totally remarkable day that ended up changing our lives. So we came back and had many conversations. Then, we decided to tell our adoption specialist at Arizona's Children's Association that we would consider kiddo on the spectrum. Then we were matched with Tristan and five years later, I'm the parent of a moody teenager.
[00:05:42] Aneta: Amazing teenager and you guys have such a beautiful family, and it's so amazing to see just the pictures from when you first adopted him and brought him home and to now he is like a grown man. Like what, two feet tall, too much, feet taller. He's so tall,
[00:05:57] Brian Hatfield: He's six and yeah, he's grown so much. The amount of hormones flowing through that kid's body is insane right now. Just with all the growth that he's got going on. Yeah. So just right now trying to figure out how to parent a teenage boy. That's the challenge of the day.
[00:06:14] Aneta: So tell me a little bit about what you've discovered about yourself during the adoption process and maybe even through parenting?
[00:06:22] Brian Hatfield: Yeah. The most surprising thing is we go way back. I thought I am the nurturer of the family. I thought I was going to be all love and kisses and hugs and all of that, and I certainly am, but I was not expecting to be the disciplinarian, and I'm that too. So, I'm learning now to try to keep a level playing field right. With my emotions and not escalate. But yeah, I was not expecting to be the disciplinarian of the family, and that I certainly am.
[00:06:52] Aneta: That's so funny. It is a surprise. You never know what type of parent you'll be, but just seeing you guys and your family. It looks quite natural. So, Congratulations on that.
[00:07:03] Brian Hatfield: Best thing!
[00:07:04] Aneta: You're welcome. So, you guys have also an interesting community, as you said. So you're able to connect with other parents within the LGBTQ community who have also adopted and just within the adoption community. So what does that look like for you guys? How are you able to create this community and also continue to stay very involved?
[00:07:24] Brian: Yeah, so my career is in talent acquisition. I'm a recruiter, right? So I think I'm naturally one that just connects people. So, I just kind of lead with curiosity and everybody I need. I've just been able to fit in, build some bridges and share my own experiences, right? So as we're going through the process, trying to figure out. The best schools to send a kiddo on the spectrum trying to find out the best doctor, the best guitar teacher, and the best piano teacher. Yeah. And so I'm always just willing to share those experiences. So I think it's just kind of naturally unfolded because it's who I am, but it's also my professional skill set too to kind of connect people. But I'm the benefactor and the recipient of so many people that just truly champion what we're doing. They say, what Hillary Clinton, right? It takes a village. I firmly believe that because there is no way we could do this on our own without the support of those people that love us.
[00:08:23] Aneta: That's so true. One of the other things that I know that you also did recently is that you decided to make a career change. So I know that you've been in HR. You've been a recruiter, and you've spent so much time and you're very successful doing it. But you recently made a change to a different organization. And so walk us through what that process was like and why you chose to make a switch.
[00:08:47] Brian: Yeah. so it was not easy. It was not easy at all. I think much to my own surprise. I think I experienced professional success pretty early in life. In my late twenties, and early thirties, I was in a leadership position with a recruitment agency, and by so many factors I tout me as a success if you will. But I think a change started happening in my own personal values when we first adopted Tristan and it just didn't happen overnight. Right. So, over a couple of years, I saw just a change in myself and my values. And then that really became amplified during the pandemic and one of the things I realized is I wasn't interested in necessary leadership positions anymore. And I wasn't just interested in kind of chasing the buck or the next title or any of that. So I enlisted a lot of help from people around me. So, I'm a big believer in not doing things on your own. So I have coaches, therapists, counselors, I have a lot of people in my life that really helped guide me. So I did utilize a career coach, to help me figure out this transition and to help me kind of funnel all of these emotions. For me, specifically, one of the things I realized is I just didn't want to be in a leadership position anymore. And I had the opportunity to kind of take a step back and say, you know what? I think I would be happier being in a kind of pure production recruiting position. And not have those stresses that come with leadership and that especially, I don't know, maybe as a man that's a little bit harder to reconcile. But I did, and I actually took a step back in my career and said I kind of wanted to focus on it. Kind of what my true talents are, and I'm not chasing that next title or that next kind of pay grade if you will. And I wanted to work for a company where that was more aligned with my values. So, I kind of thought that was going to be in the non-profit world, but I wasn't a hundred percent positive. Yeah, six months ago I landed at the American Cancer Society and took a step back. Probably one of the best career decisions I ever made, or at least it was really right for me at this time in my life.
[00:11:09] Aneta: Yeah. I love that you did that. One of the first things I do with all my clients as well as to say, let's define what their life values are. Because I always feel that when people say their life is out of balance is because their daily choices don't align with their life values, and then we're not in integrity with ourselves and we find. Something is wrong. So when you were doing that assessment, as you were thinking through, what are some of those values that you knew were so important to you and you needed to make sure that they were aligned in your next career position?
[00:11:41] Brian Hatfield: Yeah, so for me, as I said, I didn't check, I didn't purposely seek out the American Cancer Society, but I did want to seek out some sort of career or some sort of organization where I felt that I was using my talents to kind of benefit society at large, right? To somehow make a difference in other people's lives. That was kind of solely the thing that I was looking for and then beyond that, it's just the trials and tribulations of trying to find a new job and trying to find a new job at 50 years old. Even though, I've spent decades in this space. I encountered challenges and setbacks that were a little surprising to me. So I'm really grateful that things worked out the way they did.
[00:12:22] Aneta: Yeah. And isn't it interesting that sometimes it takes us getting to a level of external success and achieving all those things that sometimes we weren't even sure we'd achieve in order to say? Wow, that's not it. That's not what's going to provide this sustainable joy or what I want long-term. And so you said it was a step back, but I like to say it's a pivot. You just intentionally chose to pivot to something else, which is very empowering. Yeah. So congratulations on being able to do that and sort of redefining what success looks like for you on your own.
[00:13:03] Brian Hatfield: Yeah. Well said. Thank you. That just summed it up perfectly.
[00:13:07] Aneta: Yeah. So you mentioned the big five. Yeah and so we all turned 50, right? So we went to school together and I just came back from a little reunion with mine. College friends, eight of us, the girls. This past weekend we were in Charleston and Palms. I know you've been, we were just talking before we started this recording about, our little trip. And I did say it, and I want to make sure I say it and record it. You guys, the men of our group that we were so close with, need to rent a house next time, next door so we can all be there together. Because I think that would be pretty amazing too, signing up. Yeah. So one of the things that I loved last year was as you were approaching 50 and your 50th you made some strong commitments to yourself. I know you had some personal goals that you were working on, and for me watching it was almost like this pilgrimage to 50. It was like this intentional setting forth of what you wanted, and it wasn't just hitting your birthday, but it was actually almost like preparing for 50 and then this next chapter. So can you just tell us about what was going through your mind and some of the things that you did for those that weren't familiar with your journey?
[00:14:25] Brian Hatfield: Yeah, it kind of unfolded naturally. When a year ago I was not living my best life. We already talked about the career and some of the other things. But I had some sadness in my life. I was overweight. I just wasn't living my best life. So it really started off that with a physical goal. And that physical goal was I wanted to lose 50 pounds by my 50th birthday. So I created a little hashtag, and I put it on social media because that's my way of holding myself accountable. Yeah. So it started off 50 by 50, which was losing 50 pounds by my 50th birthday. But then, as I said, it just un furloughed in a better way. I decided that I wanted a more rewarding career that I wanted to cultivate and nurture more meaningful friendships that I wanted to live joyfully how I wanted to shape my son's teenage years. So with that came. 50 other goals or somewhere near between you and I don’t know if it was exactly 50. Right. But yeah, it was, a subset of those where I like for example around experiencing joy. I wanted to do things that scared me. So, whether that was going parasailing or taking tennis lessons or jokingly, one of them was wearing a speedo on my 50th birthday. Or just going jet skiing or just doing all these little things that either got me out of my comfort zone or found a new way for me to inject joy into my life as I was approaching 50. Because I think sometimes when you're 50 years old or you're approaching 50 or you're just getting older. Sometimes, it can be like I've already done everything, or I've seen everything and that sense of wonder can diminish and I just wanted to inject that back into my life. So, whatever kind of hair brain idea that I got that would, like I said, inject joy or scare me or whatever, then I just kind of added it to my list and started checking things off, throughout my 49th.
[00:16:23] Aneta: Was it the best year of your life?
[00:16:25] Brian Hatfield: I've thought about this. So yes. I don't know if it was the best year of my life. But, my 49th year was awesome because I was living it intentionally, and I'll tell you kind of a struggle that I'm having right now. Yeah. It felt a bit like Christmas morning. What I mean by that is all the preparations going up before 50. That's the fun stuff, right? Just all the preparation for Christmas, right? You're putting the lights up, you're making cookies, you're doing all of that fun stuff. And then after you scramble and open all the presents, it's like, okay, what do I do with myself now? So that happened to me on my 50th birthday, right? So, after I went through a full year of living with purpose and trying to live courageously and kind of literally just checking things off. Then it felt a bit like Christmas morning. So, now I'm struggling a little bit. I'm trying to find ways to inject that same enthusiasm back into my daily routine. So, if you got any tips for me on all ears.
[00:17:27] Aneta: Yeah. Well, first of all, I love that you said it felt like Christmas morning because there's when we work on a finite set of dates, right? You're like, okay, this year here's all the things I want to do, and then the day. Then what do you do the next morning?
[00:17:42] Aneta: So yeah, how do you create sustainable goals or sustainable sort of intentions going forward? So I would say whatever you did to find what you wanted to do that year. I love these themes that you said of breaking out of your comfort zone and choosing to be courageous. This creates a sense of wonder and curiosity throughout the day. Those are beautiful things to be able to use as themes as you look at each month or each quarter or each year. And then working with your partner and with your children. Your family, your friends, even to say, These are the things I want to do. Who else wants to join me? Because there are some solo trips and there are some things that you could do with other people who maybe want to do the same thing with you. So actually, why don't we start this with our friend group? I mean, how amazing to say. Who else wants to inject themselves with a sense of wonder and curiosity and joy? I mean, who's going to say no to that?
[00:18:41] Brian Hatfield: Exactly. Yeah. So, for me, it was like I had that line in the sand, that turning 50 was that big monumental. A moment with a goal, like you said, something finite. So I got to figure that out. I haven't yet, but I'm committed to the process. Yeah.
[00:18:56] Aneta: Are there things that you started either new routines or healthy habits or just a different way of looking at life that you started in the 49th year that you have continued past your 50th?
[00:19:10] Brian Hatfield: Yeah, there's somebody that I follow in a book that I read called The Miracle Morning with Hal Elra. Yes.
[00:19:16] Aneta: I'm reading it right now.
[00:19:17] Brian Hatfield: Yeah. Okay. So that was the catalyst for me. There's an acronym, it's called savers, and it's S for silences or meditation, A for affirmations, V for visualizations, E for exercise, R for reading, and S for scribing. So I'm an early morning riser. That gets me out of the day, and that puts me in a very healthy, productive mindset. I think that is something that I started and that I've continued and especially, the meditation practice and then the exercise. The exercise piece was most beneficial. I have the hardest time with scribing or journaling, so if I ever don't check anything off the box, it's that one. So I should probably develop a new habit around that.
[00:20:02] Aneta: I would say with that because I do write every day. That's one I do all those things as well. I want to talk about meditation in a moment. But with journaling, what I started to do when I first made my career change and I start on my own transformation journey. I just started a word document and I write every day when I first wake up because with my morning cup of coffee and I light a candle, create a ritual around it, and it's so nice, so early in the morning when we're so connected to our subconscious mind before the day sort of sets before we start our day. To really just check in and just say, how am I feeling? What did I appreciate yesterday? And you can just have some thought starters that you can create for yourself that allow you to journal, like what am I most grateful for today? Or, what's the type of person that I want to be, or who do I want to reach out to? A couple of those things might get you started. They could be the same thing every day and then you just start writing. I find that usually those things sort of unclog whatever is keeping me stuck, and it's so amazing to be able to go back. Because I don't have very good penmanship to read my typed words of what was going on that day and just to see if there are any seasonal things that are happening with me. But the best part is going back and just seeing if there are any fears or worries that I had. I always write them down and then just see the next day, the day after, and the week after. How it all works out and how it was fully supported the entire time? It's amazing!
[00:21:28] Brian Hatfield: Is it a stream of consciousness for you or do you follow a template of some sort?
[00:21:32] Aneta: It's a stream of consciousness for me, but even this morning I was journaling about what this weekend with the girls meant and it turned into a blog. Like I literally wrote it in like five minutes and then just send it out and so sometimes it turns into a lot of my posts from my stream of consciousness of what I'm feeling that day. A lot of times it'll happen if I write after meditation. I usually get a spark of inspiration or something that happens then, and that could turn into something. It could be a couple of sentences. It could be a paragraph or an entire page. You just never know what's going to come out. But it's helpful.
[00:22:05] Brian Hatfield: We talked. This call we're talking about, like these the wisdom that you get when you know that you get when you're turning 50 or you're a little bit premature. Yeah. But don't you wish that you would've had these tools, this wisdom, or these tools earlier in life? Because who knows what could be, what could be possible if I just wish I would've learned all this earlier.
[00:22:25] Aneta: Yeah. Right. Yes and no. I guess yes, because who knows what could have happened. But also there's so much wisdom and learning in our hands when we screw up and when we make mistakes and when we don't do things perfectly, right? There's so much knowledge and wisdom going through it ourselves, not just reading about someone else's experiences. I don't know. I don't know that there are too many shortcuts that we can take. Yeah.
[00:22:52] Brian Hatfield: Tristan and I have a pretty long commute to his school. So, it's half an hour each way. On the half, an hour drive to school. I try to impart this wisdom as much as I do. As we're driving to school, we say our little prayers and we say, what are you grateful for? When he gets out of the car. I kind of have a ritual and I always tell him, I love you more than all the hairs and all the bears in all the world. But I'm also like, you are smart. You are kind, you are a leader. You can accomplish this because I want to instill that confidence and at least little nuggets of this that I can in him. Focus time that I have with him. While we're commuting.
[00:23:26] Aneta: Aren't car rides amazing because I feel like for some reason, kids talk more in the car and there is sort of a stream of consciousness and it just seems like a safe environment. I found it the same way with my own kids. But does he sit next to you, side by side? You guys are?
[00:23:43] Brian Hatfield: Yeah, I think that's part of it, right? Because especially him being on the spectrum. He's not really great with eye contact. So, I think when I'm focused on the road and he's looking forward, yeah. It's a little bit safer for him not to have to look me in the eye and be that vulnerable. That my car ride is like my parenting hour, right? So half an hour for doing that stuff. Then, when I'm driving home. I listen to an audiobook on parenting of some sort. So that's just my dedicated kind of time block, if you will, for trying to make myself the best parent that I can be.
[00:24:12] Aneta: I love it! So, speaking of all these lessons and all this wisdom that we've gained. Is there one particular thing that you wish you'd known when we were undergrads in school or younger or early twenties? Is there, is it meditation? Is it the affirmations? Is it being more courageous or aligning with your values? I don't know. If there's one thing, if you could pick, maybe I'll let you have two or three.
[00:24:36] Brian Hatfield: It would probably be just about living in the present because I think as humans, we spend so much time thinking about what's next. What's that next, What's that next goal? What's that next accomplishment? What are you going to do when you drop them off at school? Right. So it's probably just to kind of savor the moment. I guess in the past, to savor our youth.
[00:24:58] Aneta: Yes. Right. I love that one. I think that if I had a meditation practice back then. I would learn to be present. I would learn to have better control of my emotions. I would be more reflective. I would just be healthier overall. So I wish I knew or learned how to meditate at a very young age and so I love when I see that some schools have introduced meditation at a young age for students or they've introduced meditation into the prison system and in others, or to communities that typically are underserved in terms of wellness. So, it's something that is free and it's easy to be able to do. You just need someone to help you and guide you through it. So that's probably one thing that I wish I knew how to do when I was younger.
[00:25:48] Brian Hatfield: Yeah. It's funny, I met up with some old friends. I was in P town not too long ago and I had dinner with Albert Krug and he's a college friend of ours and his wife and his sister, who I have not seen in ages, and she's like, you're much calmer than you used to be. I mean, jokingly it's because I'm old and tired but I do attribute that to just kind of being more thoughtful. It's funny when I see we've had the opportunity to see each other a couple of times over the last couple of years, and I notice like I'm an observer and I notice you always take a beat before you respond. You take a breath. I've always admired that about you. It's not a skill that I've mastered, but I would like to just be able to slow down and collect my thoughts before I put something out into the universe.
[00:26:35] Aneta: Well, I think you do a great job but I appreciate the compliment, Brian. Thank you and you are very observant the other thing that I love is that you spend time reaching out to friends. You've traveled a lot. You came and stayed with us, which I loved. You just mentioned being in Boston with Albert. So, is it an intention that you have to be able to reach out and spend time with friends? How have you always done this or is this something that is more recent?
[00:27:05] Brian Hatfield: I think, I've always done it. If I reflect back to college, I think I was always kind of a connector or a networker there. Yeah, I think here locally in Phoenix, I think I have more acquaintances than I have deep friends, and a lot of times that's because these are work colleagues or spending time with friends, like my son's parents’ friends, right? And sometimes it can feel a little superficial. I know I have deep, meaningful friendships. I know that I'm loved. I am consciously working on building that more for me locally. But I am also, incredibly grateful to have these long-lasting relationships. You said something in your post that I read about we've seen each other at our best and we've seen each other at our worst, and we've been through ups and downs and struggles, and that almost makes me a little teary when I think about some of the things that we've all gone through. But yes, I purposely and intentionally make time to go see those people that I love.
[00:28:10] Aneta: I love it! And that's something that I'm challenging myself to do more of and I think it does start with being more intentional and just deciding that it's so right. There's something special about our group of friends and I think we were trying to pinpoint it this weekend. We said All of us are different. It's not like we're similar. We have different backgrounds. We came from different families and different ethnic groups. Sometimes we identify as differently in so many ways, faith, etcetera. And yet we still found each other and we've still maintained and nurtured these relationships over 30 years. It doesn't happen all the time. I talk to many people who don't have the same experience, and I wish it so strongly for my own children who are in their twenties, I want what we have for them. And they look at us with such admiration because they know everybody and I think they know how special it is. So, what do you think? What was the special sauce with all of us? Was it a meeting in Miami? Was it something in particular? Or do you just think it's fate that just sort of brings people together and then the rest is up to us?
[00:29:22] Brian Hatfield: Probably fate. I do agree that I think it was an extraordinary experience. I think we're reflecting back. I think we were just focused primarily on our friendships. I don't think any of us were out there overly focused on like a club scene maybe part of it is being in a small nurturing community like Oxford, Ohio. Right? And we weren't I was, I could not have gone to a big city school. I was not nearly mature enough or anything like that. So I think maybe being in that safe little bubble really helped propel that. But I think sometimes it's just sometimes there's just a little walk.
[00:29:58] Aneta: Yeah, I think so. We didn't have a definitive answer either, but I love what you shared. So, what is next? Do you have any personal or professional goals,? Things that are on the horizon that you've been thinking about?
[00:30:10] Brian Hatfield: So, right now, my son's 15. He's a sophomore in school, but he is not going to be on a traditional path. So, what I mean by that is he is going to be able to stay in the school system until he's 21. So, I think right now our commitment is getting through this kind of stage in life and I really want to shape his teenage years and allow him the opportunity to experience some of the stuff that I have. But beyond that, I am kind of a minimalist at heart and I don't think I need for example, this house anymore or some of those other things that people who are kind of keeping up with the Jones might want. So, I spend a lot of time daydreaming about being a digital nomad. So, I think once we kind of get Tristan through this stage in life. I just kind of want to strip away. A lot of the possessions that I might have tied myself to because of each passing day. They mean less and less to me. So, I don't need the house or the cars or anything. What I do crave is experiences. I love nature. I'm in National Park Geek. I try to do three national parts a year. So, travel's important and we started talking about like turning 60. There are a lot of things that I want to do in life that I want to make sure that I can do now when my body is capable of doing it right? So, I want to hike mountains. We're planning a hiking adventure too. All of that stuff. If you think about it this way. You've probably got a finite number of trips that you can take in the next year. So, I'm really focused on kind of those more high-intensity trips that I can do and then beyond that. I'll take the cruise to Alaska when I'm 80, right? So right now, I just kind of have a list of things that I have it. My phone has multiple bucket lists, but I have these bucket lists that I want to do with regards to travel that are much more high adventures. So, I'm just trying to figure it out. The hard part is resources, time, and money, right? Figure out how? What are those top 10 or 20 things that I want to do? Start working through. I'll do the cruise and the all-inclusive vacation. When I'm a little more tired than I am today.
[00:32:18] Aneta: I love it. I will join you because experiences are definitely on my list and what I've been going through, I think maybe since our kids are out of the house, so we're a little bit ahead of you. We have just, I asked him, I said, anything that's left at the house is fair game. It means you don't want it and it's going to be gone. So we have been also just starting to remove things, and declutter, but also creating more beautiful spaces outside. I want to see flowers because I spend so much time here. What really does bring me joy? What brings us satisfaction? It's being able to enjoy the very short Cleveland summers and in the beautiful fall and create a home where we can host people here. If we can't go anywhere, Just have people back at our home. I'm with you. We're slowly just continuing to remove and minimalize what's important because it's so interesting. It's like the first half of our life we spend accumulating things and working towards purchases, and then I feel like the second half is all about getting rid of all that stuff.
[00:33:16] Brian Hatfield: Yeah. It's freeing. It's absolutely freeing. Yeah.
[00:33:19] Aneta: Yeah. It's so freeing. Brian, the title of this podcast is Live the Width of Your Life. It comes from a Diane Akerman quote where she says, I don't want to have lived my full life and reached the end of it and realized that I only lived the length of it I want to have with lived the width of it as well. So what does it mean for you to live the width of your life and how do you choose to do that?
[00:33:44] Brian Hatfield: Yeah, I think, at my core, I dovetailing a little on what we just talked about is inner freedom, right? So, it's the inner freedom to be able to do whatever it is that gives me joy and fulfillment and so that's at the heart of everything. I kind of envisioned it as a circle here, and that next outer layer, Saturn's ring if you will, is the community, and for me that, as we said, is just being able to make a positive impact in the communities that I'm a part of. The LGBT adoption community. The special needs parents community, and then just continuing to nurture those that I love.
[00:34:23] Aneta: That is so beautiful and I am so grateful to be part of your community. I'm so grateful that our paths crossed and then we continue to develop and work on our friendship. It's so meaningful. So I will join you on some of those fun trips that require a bit more exertion and then also the ones when we're old and we just want to go and cruise around. So, Brian, how can we best support you? What are the ways that we can become involved in some of the communities or even the American Heart Cancer Association? Tell us some of the ways that we can best support you personally and professionally.
[00:34:57] Brian Hatfield: Yeah, I think. The organization that is close that is closest near and dear to my heart right now is a group called Foster Arizona. What I've been working for with them is helping those kids that are aging out of the foster care system. I don't know the stats off the top of my head. But I'll tell you kids that don't get adopted, the likelihood of them ending up in jail or homeless is just astronomical. So, we're trying to give them a soft landing, so that when they exit the system. They have kind of a gateway or transition and so Foster Arizona is really working on helping provide shelter and housing and clothing and all of that good stuff. Yeah. So, next month I'm having a little fundraiser here at my house. We're just asking people to bring some gift art cards. So, I'll shoot a link over to you. So, if anybody wants please donate something to Foster Arizona. I can provide the link for that and otherwise just check them out. I realize it's an Arizona-based non-profit, but they do amazing work. So, I'll make sure to provide you with the links.
[00:36:01] Aneta: Thank you! I will include it in the show notes. And if anyone is curious to follow along on your many life adventures, what's the best way they can find you on social media?
[00:36:11] Brian Hatfield: Probably, my Instagram, which is Team Solid Family. That's our little family name.
[00:36:17] Aneta: Well, I am so grateful to you that you chose to spend today with me, and looking forward to many more conversations with you. So, please support Brian and the organizations that are important to him and if you like today's episode, like it, share it with your friends, subscribe to hear more, and best of luck to you, Brian.
[00:36:37] Brian Hatfield: Thank you!
End.