Episode 148 transcript: The Mustard Seed Promise: Chapter 2 Preview of Lanterns of Light with Aimee Smit
Aimee (00:00): What a reflective point to reflect on all these years.
and all the trials and all the tribulations and all the challenges and all the diagnoses and traumas and this and that and also just reflect on all the celebrations and how that little muster seed of faith that I had when I was told that she would not survive that I was going to miscarry and even from Anana we were told all these things worst of the worst we were prepped for and this child overcame all of it. All of it.
Aneta (03:02): Welcome back to Live the Width of Your Life podcast. I am so excited because my guest today is my dear friend Aimee Smith. And this is another episode in which we are talking about Lanterns of Light, the upcoming book that's coming out this year. And we are talking about chapter two, which is in the first section on faith foundations. And Amiee, I don't know if you know this, but you were the very first person that I sent the chapter to.
Aimee (03:29): Wow. I am so honored.
Aneta (03:30): And it was so interesting because the way it came through was that you and I were talking about faith. Aimee, feel like God is chasing you. And then some interesting things happen. So if you want to share your story.
Aimee (03:52): I would love to. Yes, so Annetta, you had said that to me, I think, after a breathwork session that you had done, and that just lit me up, first of all. I felt so seen and I felt so held and so excited. Like, what does this mean? And I've been exploring my faith more. I believe it was either that day or a couple of days later, you shared this verse with me.
of the mustard seed. You mentioned the mustard seed. And as I've been struggling with different things in my life too, every time I have a contraction, you're like, come back to faith, And it was then days after that, my husband went to a conference and connected with one of the speakers and she chased him down and gave him a vial with a mustard seed in it.
and sent this whole verse to him as well. So I do not believe in coincidences. I am always looking for the signs. And this was sign after sign after sign. This was such a beautiful, beautiful thing for me and our family. So thank you for being with me. And I keep coming back to this and rereading it. And everyone gets something different from it, it's so beautiful.
Aneta (05:05): Thank you for sharing your story. And I just want to take a moment and read the verse. So I'm going to a little bit. So the verse is actually from Matthew chapter 17, verse 20. And the verse says, truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, move from here to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. And I've always loved this verse.
And yet I acknowledged throughout this entire chapter that every time I would read it, I would nod my head, go, yeah, this makes sense. I love this. But it was also one of those verses that confused me because I couldn't wrap my head around. How could I have faith as small as a mustard seed, which is so, so tiny? And...
And tell the mountain to move like for something to not be impossible So it really for me was something that I struggled with in which is why I wanted this to be one of the chapters and chapter 2 because I Explore and I talk a little bit about how I've struggled with this verse even though it's something that has always meant so much to me
Aimee (06:16): Yeah, Aneta, what was coming up for me? So struggled as I was raised in the Catholic Church, very strict upbringing that and having to go to church, and at some point, pretty young on, I realized this doesn't feel aligned for me. Yet I was always very, very close to God. I think I've shared this with you. God was my best friend growing up. I prayed a lot.
I talked to God a lot, and I always carried him with me. And what I got from reading and rereading this is that our faith is no matter how small, is enough. We are enough for God. Like God is always going to be there. Even if we come with faith the size of a mustard seed, so very small, God is there. We are enough. He's gonna help us. He has that infinite power.
That felt healing to me because for someone who struggled with their enoughness, my whole life as well, like it is enough, even at the times when my faith is wavering, it is enough to come with just that, my interpretation of it.
Aneta (07:26): Yeah, and it's not about us in the end. Like we're not the ones doing the work, but it's our faith that activates what God can do. And if you go back to the verse, it's like, if you have faith this small, nothing is impossible for God. Nothing is impossible. And I remember years ago hearing God is a gentleman, or if you prefer a gentle woman, or whatever we want to think, it's like, God will not impose his will. We have to be the ones to take that first step. God is always there, and it's through our acknowledgement, our faith, that everything else can be activated. It's all possible. Even in the journal entry, I included a journal entry in this particular chapter, I referenced this Bible verse. I thought I would read maybe a little bit of it, just to get everyone out of
my mind of what was happening. So I've been thinking about this verse lately. It's a commonly referenced Bible verse. Jesus reminds us that God is limitless. Nothing is impossible if we believe. The challenge for me is that I've allowed doubt to take up too much space in my mind. The mustard seed is super tiny. Yet Jesus says that if our faith were even this small, we could tell the mountain to move. And they would. This is not only an incredible image, but it's beautiful. What a love story that God has for us.
God is pleading with us to ask him for big dreams, to believe that he is limitless and wants to support us, and then be patient and receive his blessings. I've struggled with all of this my entire life. I believed in God and his abilities, but not always in all areas of my life. I somehow felt obligated to try hard and work hard, believing that I had to do it on my own. My stubbornness and need to control kept me stuck.
I journaled and pleaded with God to show me a way out, but I often didn't do what he asked. And now I believe with every cell in my body that God's plan for my life is so much bigger and better than I could ever have imagined.
Aimee (09:28): That is so beautiful.
Aneta (09:31): Isn't that the challenge that we have? It's the belief.
Aimee (09:31): Yeah, right. It's the ask, believe, receive. Again, you always bring me back to this. First of all, I just want to say thank you for sharing this because I see you as such a strong faith-based woman. And to know that even you struggle with this at times. I think it's very human. I think it's very, very human. For me, it's like worrying. Worry is just something I grew up with.
That's what I learned from my mom, too: just worry and hypervigilance, and to be able to acknowledge that we have that, but also we can have the faith, and we can continue to work on it. And the ask, believe, receive, we have to ask. Like that's the first thing. And that's the thing I feel like comes the easiest to me, but it's usually Aneta when situations are when I'm struggling or when it's that insurmountable situation, or unknown or health issues, or something big that I don't have control over. That's usually when I remember to ask, and then we have to believe. And I think this chapter is what helps me believe to remember that all you need is that little bit of faith. And sometimes it's a lot of faith. But all you need is that and to ask God
to co-create, right, to help you. And then it's the believing and receiving. So I think I struggle most with the believing and the receiving part at times, but this was profound to hear you say that you've struggled with this your entire life. That to me just helped me feel not alone, I think, in my journey with asking and co-creating with God and having that faith.
Aneta (11:16): And I think for me it's the aspect of turning everything over, all areas. And so, like you said, sometimes it's easier for us to believe and to pray when we think someone's received a diagnosis. I don't have control over that. Can pray for them. I can ask God to intercede and to heal. I can't heal this person. And so it just seems logical. And yet, for other things, we believe that we're the ones in control. And that's the part that's funny because even being an entrepreneur.
I know every single penny, every single client that's come into my business is not because of me. It is God's provision. And if I do my part, which is staying aligned, staying connected, loving people, doing what I can within my experience, using my skills and my gifts, then I will be blessed and I'll be a blessing to others, by doing that first. And yet we somehow think that if we strive, if we push, so I feel like the business in this area sometimes is hard for us. We think that we have to do that, that that's not something that also comes from God or that we can't expand our faith to that particular area or maybe it's like relationships that I think everyone has a particular part of it but what I loved here because I don't believe in coincidences either is that I shared this verse with you and then I shared the chapter.
And then your husband went, and you're he met this woman unexpectedly, talked to her about stuff that's going on, and she gave him the mustard seed. But this all happened within like, I don't know, a week of each other. Like a week. And so for me, it strengthened my faith because I thought, at this. I'm part of something, sharing this with Amiee, that is from the divine because God wasn't just working through me for you, but was working through this other woman for Jeremy.
Aimee (13:09): Yes, for our whole family. Well, this comes back to maybe this might be the time to start talking about this, but the biggest mountain in my life, because in this chapter two, you ask, What is the mountain you're facing? So first of all, well, I want to go back to what you said about business. This is actually for me as an entrepreneur. This is having the faith is probably one of the bigger challenges I'm facing. So the business aspect is for sure.
Relationship-wise, got that down, family, all that, but the business is mine right now. But we have had this experience, I've had this experience, and my family has, of having this insurmountable situation. So when I was pregnant, it was a pretty tough pregnancy, and we didn't quite know what was going on, and without going into all the details, we did have a rollover car accident at 19 weeks.
And already things were not looking good for the baby at 19 weeks. There were signs that I had very, very low amniotic fluid. I was bleeding. Some other things just didn't seem right. We were living in New Mexico, and we had gone down to Taos to my doctor, who was an hour from our home. We lived in the mountains of New Mexico. And on the way back home, it was a really bad snowstorm. We hit black ice and our truck rolled three times off Tows Canyon. So it's scary. And from that point on, we had a lot of appointments. Again, nothing seemed like it was okay for the baby. I was told to go home, take my temperature every few hours, see if I was miscarrying, and then go to the hospital.
So, talk about faith. This is one of those situations you can only control so much. I knew as a mom, too, I had to keep the most positive attitude possible for that baby, for the conditions. And that was hard, Aneta, because it was so scary, and you better believe I turned to God. You know what I mean? This is one of those situations. And as a mother,
You love this child more than anything, even if you haven't met them. Love them so much, so much. You will do anything for them. And for them not to be safe in your womb, that was all God helped me, God help us. And fast forward, while I was told, one of those appointments, I believe I asked how long I have to keep this baby in before they can live? And they told me 24 weeks. And fast forward,
our baby was born at 24 weeks exactly to the day. Just viable, barely viable under a pound. And let's just, let me give you the big picture. She is now 18 years old. So right around the time that this whole mustard seed came up from you and then from this other woman to my husband, my husband and this woman were talking about my daughter. He was sharing and connecting with her on some level with that, and she just really impressed him as a speaker too, and they were as a high-up CEO woman, and all these great things. So, as all that came to her life, it was just around the time my daughter was graduating from high school. And what a reflective point to look back on all these years. and all the trials and all the tribulations and all the challenges and all the diagnoses and traumas and this and that and also just reflect on all the celebrations and how that little muster seed of faith that I had when I was told that she would not survive that I was going to miscarry and even from Anana we were told all these things worst of the worst we were prepped for and this child overcame all of it.
All of it. There have been challenges, and there has been all of that along the road, too, but she is just the most kind, vibrant, compassionate, gifted child ever. And so I'm hoping by sharing that, and she permitted me to share that she's very private, Aneta, but I'm hoping by sharing that, that gives someone else hope. Are these times in our lives when we have to surrender? We have to surrender. There's no other choice. surrendering, by asking God, by planting that little seed, even though we were told all these things could go wrong, didn't. She's truly a miracle. And so, I don't know, this just again, the mustard seed and the symbolism, and also just knowing we all come from teeny tiny seeds, we're all plants, we're all conception, and we're all just so microscopic, and yet we turn into these beautiful beings. Or if you plant in your garden a teeny tiny seed and then it grows into this ginormous six-foot sunflower, it's like, how does that happen? But it's just such a beautiful symbol. And for me, as a mother, that beautiful miracle of her making it and being born and being viable. That's something I keep falling back on, Aneta, when I have my moments of doubt. If that could happen, what else could happen? Like anything's possible. And again, when we co-create with God, when we ask, when we believe, when we plant that seed of faith.
It's to me like one of the biggest resources of my life, I think, to have that real life human experience where things seem so dim and things were, yet it all turned
Aneta (18:46): It all turned out, I mean, this was a big, big cross to bear, as a mom and first child, and you're going through all this, and how old were you, Amiee, when this was happening? First pregnancy.
Aimee (18:59): I was 29, first pregnancy too. And I got pregnant very easily within three weeks of trying. So that also seemed like a miracle, but yeah, very big cross to bear, very big.
Aneta (19:08): Yeah. And you turned to God and you prayed, and as you said, I mean, your daughter, she is a miracle, and all her milestones and everything else. And she was born tiny, as we were talking about tiny little things,
And I guess my question to you, and I ask myself the same thing, is when God shows up for the really big things, and of course, the health of your child is the biggest thing as a parent, everything. Why do we forget?
And when we're dealing with little things that are inconsequential in the health of your child, why do we forget this? Or why do we try to do things on our own? Or why do we have disbelief when it comes to our faith?
Aimee (19:55): That's a great question. I think it's part of it, just human nature in some, I just speak for myself. And like I said, worrying anxiety is usually the bigger things, and that's all mind. That's all in our mind, and our minds are there to keep us safe for some reason. So maybe it's a childhood experience or generational or whatever. But I think it has to almost become a habit to
I'm trying more and more in the last several months to bring in prayer at the beginning of my day and to ground myself with that and to remember that, because to me, prayer and a resource as well. And for all of us doing too much, carrying too much, that's what God's for, like, why don't we lean on that more instead of carrying all this? And I know you've said this to me, Aneta, at different points in my life, just as a friend, you don't have to carry this all alone. You don't have to do it all on your own. And that is profound to me to know I'm not alone and there's someone there looking out for me, and I do believe this firmly from the bottom of my heart, God, as well as all the angels, so I talk about angels a lot, firmly believe I am not alone. So,
I don't know why we tend to forget, but I think that is human. I think that's just part of the journey and the silliness of who we are. Like just, wouldn't life be easier though, right? If we just had complete faith. And this is something I'm working on. I'm not there yet, but I do have quite a bit of faith.
I do have quite a bit of faith, and I know, again, I have this experience and this real-life experience to know in my heart of hearts, like anything is possible, anything.
Aneta (21:42)
I agree with you. I think it is human, and that's why fellowship and community are so important, because we're in the middle of our stuff. We don't see it, and it's so much easier to notice it in someone else and say, You don't have to carry this alone. There are people here, humans that are here to help as well, that's why it's so important to have a community. But also, if you have faith to be able to turn it over to God. And I think that's why I love reading and probably why I use verses so often in my own life, because I'm just reminding myself of God's promises to us. And I'm like, okay, I'm struggling with this and
I just am like, there's a verse for that, and I'm going to meditate on it. I'm going to repeat it back. I'm gonna say, God, you told me that if my faith was the size of a mustard seed, nothing is impossible. Here we go. This is what I'm going through. And I think that's where you build that relationship and that communion with God is through the word.
And I think that's why these verses have been so important in my faith. And I don't have it all figured out. As you've seen my journal entries, and I'm sharing them in this book, I struggle all the time. I do, but it's easier for me to go back and use Word to read it, to ground myself, to reconnect, to have that conversation with God, than it is to go and try to figure it out myself or go find it in a book or somewhere else.
Aimee (23:11): Well, speaking of a book, this to me, what you are creating is going to be, I know I'm going to be using this probably daily. Your other book, Live the Width, you know this, I'm on my second year of reading daily and journaling, and I love, love, love it. So for me, this is where I think I'm going to have an anchor of like, okay, remembering again, remembering my faith. And what's so beautiful, Aneta, is that I was raised in the Catholic Church, and it wasn't quite aligned. I wasn't able to question what was going on, or the structure just wasn't welcomed. Maybe it wasn't allowed, but it wasn't welcomed. And with you, I've been able to have such incredibly deep, moving conversations about exploring my faith. And I think
this book and the way you write, and again, being so vulnerable with your journal entries and sharing your experience and growth with faith, it just gives us all permission. So I think this is going to be, I know this is going to be extremely helpful for me as well as so many others with remembering we don't have to do it all alone and coming back to God and surrendering and resourcing ourselves with that.
Aneta (24:24): Hope so. It's not easy to put my journal entries in here because you're giving people access most private things. Hopefully it's helpful because like you said, you're like, why do you know you struggle with this? And it's like the time. That's why I write so often. So I use these verses and stuff. If folks haven't listened to this before, chapter, like it was so important for me to have journal prompts and to ask really deep questions of people. And I know you've talked about the one which is like that feels immovable right now. And just being able to ruminate, to reflect, to think about these things, really makes the lessons much more applicable and digestible. Sometimes we read something we're like, okay, I don't know what this means. But if you think about it, or another one is what fears or doubts keep this mountain in place once you identify it, I think it allows us to go a little bit deeper. And even as I was writing the chapters, I would do the journal prompts, and say, you know what
kind of answers does this evoke even for me? Like, what am I feeling? And then of course you and I both love embodiment exercises and so we do some of that as well, which is great, so you can feel it and in this case visualizing ourselves as a mountain, what it represents, noticing what kind of comes up for us. So I think that all the exercises are something that folks can take and make the lessons applicable, but not just the first time. Like coming back to it anytime over and over again and just saying, I feel like I've got some immovable. How can I work through this, or what is currently happening?
Aimee (26:00): Aneta, you did such a good job with that. Because also the mind is one thing, right? Like our mind is interpreting all this in one way, but to embody it, to do, and I just did the mountain visualization exercise. And to feel that in your body, you're interpreting it in a whole different way. It's like we have to have both, I think, to fully understand it. At least I do. Yeah. So that's beautiful.
Aneta (26:28): Good to me too. So I was like, why not include it? And hopefully it speaks to everyone with whatever works best for them. But I'm curious about you, too. Do you feel like more and more people are talking about their faith openly, or maybe more people are deepening their faith? I'm noticing it, but I'm just curious to see if other people are noticing the same thing.
Aimee (26:50): I'm absolutely, and even in my own business of coaching, I'm using it more. Because again, I'm going to come back to this word resource. And there's something so empowering about surrendering what is out of our control and asking for, I mean, that's to the higher power, most importantly. So
Wherever anyone is in their faith journey, I think it's extremely important I consider what's going on in the world, what we're seeing every day in the news, like things are just shifting and changing, and we're coming back to these. I mean, this is honestly such a base level. It's like such the structure of everything, just having faith and a higher power, and yeah, seeing it more and more, and I and living it more and more
I shared this the other day, but I've been doing these manifestation meditations every morning, dreaming big, which is something I preach, I like to think, but I'm recognizing, talk about the mountain to move. Like mine are more beliefs that are not serving me right now. That's my current mountain to move. And I'm asking God for help
every day like that. So my manifestation, meditation shifted a little bit, and it's like, no, I desire to ask God for help with us because this is what's limiting me. This is just that mountain that I need to move. And so yeah, I again, it's in my own life and I'm seeing it more and more. be interesting with our family to just my husband doesn't talk a lot about spiritual
this or that, but just to have him have that beautiful experience with this woman and be handed this mustard seed in a vial to give to our daughter, it's just really cool. Like, I know God is chasing us. I know God is with us. Yeah.
Aneta (28:42): So good. Yeah, love when he uses other people because not everything is going to be a download or a drop in or a clear voice. I was just at the grocery store on Friday. We were going to a nice dinner I was in line at the grocery store. I just went in to get a card and get a little flower for the hostess. And there's this guy in front of me, and he was almost done paying. So I wasn't sure what was taking so long. I couldn't quite see.
And there were two cashiers there, and I was paying attention, but I couldn't hear what was happening. And then this older woman who was off to the side came over and was like, I can't believe you did this. I need your name and your address, like all this. Why would you do this for me? And I was like, I'm witnessing something really interesting. And so they left and said to the cashier,, Did I just witness a miracle or something happen?
And she said, yeah, she said the older woman tried to pay by check, and it didn't go through. And then she had to go home and leave her cart and get a debit card. And then she didn't have enough funds on the debit card. And so she was devastated, and she was waiting for a family or someone to come up and help her. And he saw all of this because She was in front of him and he paid her entire
grocery bill was like over $200 and he paid for all of her groceries and I started crying the cashier who's telling me this started crying and I just thought what a beautiful beautiful example of like love and just like taking care of one another and she probably was like
desperate, devastated, like whatever the word is, thinking like, I'm here. She looked like she was probably 80, maybe, and so she was a victim of someone packed her accounts, like stuff had happened, and she was on limited funds. And so you think about like, in that moment, I don't know what was going through her head, but she was probably like, what do I do? I have all these groceries, but I need food. I don't know what to do. I don't have money.
And she didn't know that the person directly behind her had the heart to pay for that. And then I felt so grateful that I was behind him so I could witness all of it because for me that just really...
made me think about how I can be someone else's miracle? How can I be someone else's blessing? How can God use me to do that for somebody else? And I just think if all of us are open to that and we're present and we see what's happening and we hear that nudge or that call and we trust it, like this entire world will change. And so sometimes God uses other people, I guess, is the long way of telling the story, to be a blessing and a miracle.
and to just instill your faith. Because in that moment, I thought, you know what, the world may seem a little crazy. However, at this moment, I trust and I see that what is possible.
Aimee (31:36)
I love where you're going with this. Yes, yes, yes, because we all can be vessels for God's work. Every day, doing things every single day. And, Aneta, I don't know about you, but just saying like, in praying that we are vessels for God's work with our clients or with our friends or with our family, like that's, that is a prayer of mine.
I hope to do that. That is the least I could do for all the blessings and everything I have in my life, and my miracle of a child. But we are like walking, living angels. I do believe some of us are. We all can be, I guess, is what I'm saying; it's just a choice.
Aneta (32:18)
Yeah, and I love that. I pray that every day, too. It's like I wake up and I say, use me, allow me to be of, and I think that's how it's supposed to work. I think, if we remember that we are all connected and that we are not separate, and that we are connected also to God, like then we can live in this way. We think of the trees and the forest and how they're dependent on one another, and they send energy to each other and communicate.
It's just like if we just notice what nature does and the way it was created so perfectly, and we do something similar, we'll just be better off. So, thank you so much for reading this. Thank you for being my first reader and for sharing with me how it's impacted you. But any final big lessons or anything about this chapter that you want to share with the audience?
Aimee (33:08): The main thing from this that I get besides enoughness is hope. And that's something that I think, without we don't have anything. And so remembering, it doesn't take a lot. Hope, faith, that the mustard seed size of it is enough in the eyes of God.
If we can make that our first go-to for any situation, like just go to God first and ask and plant that seed, then, wow, wouldn't life be a lot easier, right? Wouldn't it be a lot easier? I'm very, very grateful you gave this to me. I've had this for over a month, I'm sure. I get
voices, even like, go back to the chapter, Amiee, go back to the mustard seed. Which is beautiful as well. So this is something that, like anything in my life, was just beautifully placed in my life. You and this other woman and God chasing us, chasing me, and I'm grateful.
I'm grateful. It's just another reminder, another tap tap to share our story on miracles and having that even that little bit of faith in the most insurmountable challenges in our lives.
Aneta (34:28): Thank you so much. I am so grateful to you. I'm so grateful for your friendship. And I just love seeing your transformation, and I love seeing how God is chasing you and pursuing you and doing all the things. And I can't wait to share more of the chapters with you.
Aimee (34:43): I'm waiting to read this book. This is going to change the world. truly believe it. So let's just open up and wait and see, because get ready. This is just such a beautiful book, and I'm so grateful to be a part of it just by reading this little bit. And I'm so grateful for you and for all that you are to me and are teaching me and our friendship, and so, so grateful. Thank you, Aneta.
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