Your Money Problems Aren't About Math — They're About This | Erika Rasure
(YouTube Transcript)
Aneta (00:03): Erica, welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast.
Erika (00:06): Hello, thank you so much for having me here. I'm thrilled to be here.
Aneta (00:11): I'm so excited to have you here as well. And I was just looking at all the amazing things that you're doing. And I'm so excited to really dive in and ask you, how did you make your shift from being a financial advisor and in academia as a university professor to now being a financial therapist?
Erika (00:31): Get that question quite a bit. And I think at that particular pivot point, it was for me realizing that there's so much more to money than just the numbers. And I've always been a people person. And so leaning into the human side of money, leaning into all that bubbles underneath, and really, the drives of people's relationship with our money just was utterly fascinating to me.
Aneta (00:58): Is one of those things that everyone has a money story. Like whatever it is, I don't really know many people who would just say they're sort of neutral about it. So I love that you said that, you were kind of fascinated by how many years into your previous career before you decided that you were going to make a shift.
Erika (01:16): So what's interesting is I started in the financial services industry in 2004. So I've been at this for years and some change at this point. And so I'd always done kind of on the side, I really got into kind of the coaching aspect of So I never really let it go. It was always there. And I really let it amplify and really take root and blossom. Post was one of those things where
I was working in a university setting, and I have nothing but amazing things to say about my former university. They were well ahead of the curve, prepared for online learning. They have the infrastructure there, but I often wondered, why is it that I feel like I have this COVID hangover? I felt this pull to do something else. And I wasn't sure if it was teaching, if I was burned out from that, which I don't feel like it was, but at the same time, I was starting to get more calls from people and saying, Hey,
you've been doing this forever. I'm feeling this pull to do something different. I've got these emotions around money now. I need help. And so it was this very organic, like, congruence that came together all of a sudden. And I was like, it was the perfect time for me to say, I think I'm going to retire from academia. And here I am now. And we're so grateful for making that shift. It's making that shift.
Aneta (02:29): It really is scary, and did you know anybody else at the time who was doing what you wanted to do?
Erika (02:35): Not really. I think so many people were like me in the sense that we have kind of a full-time job livelihood, and we do coaching or therapy on the side, kind of that side hustle culture. And so in my close relationships, I didn't really know anybody who was doing it. In fact, I got a lot of people who said, "Are you nuts?”
I truly did. They were like, how are you going to make money? And I'm like, I'm going to figure it out. It's going to be okay. Because I just had this very big pull to do. I don't think that if I didn't have that big pull, I would have done it. There was no wishy-washiness around. I don't know if that makes sense. There was no wishy-washy around it.
Aneta (03:19): It does because I did the same thing when I left banking, in corporate, to start my coaching business. It was interesting. Some people were like, I'm so jealous. I wish I could do what you're doing, but for whatever reason fell in the blank. They couldn't, there are the people who are like, are you crazy? Like, how are you going to make money? This seems insane. It doesn't make sense. And I think the hardest part was really being so grounded and centered in my own belief that this was going to work out, and it sounds like that's what was happening with you as well?
Erika (03:50): Almost identical, it's very, very similar. I think maybe the one thing I had a little bit differently is I did have some proof of concept, I had referrals, I had people coming to me. So I wasn't completely, just like, I'm gonna hang up a shingle and hope for the best. Yeah. But I had enough proof of concept to where I was like, there's something here. And people are going through their own shifts in life. And I felt very called to help do that, and our trajectories are so different. You think you're going to go into coaching or therapy or whatever in one direction, then you find yourself pulled in another. And then that's also what happened to me. I thought I was going to go this way. And then all of a sudden I went that way. And I'm so glad I went that way instead of going this way.
Aneta (04:30): Where did you think you were going to go versus like the shift?
Erika (04:34): I really thought in terms of where I was headed when I made the shift, I'm super interested in things like cryptocurrency and blockchain and the future of finance and all of that. I find that so fascinating. And so I really was thinking, my trajectory was going to help women with things like investing and stuff like that. And it actually turned out to be the people who were coming to me, both in private practice and then with the consulting work I do, it's people who are in debt. And I find that so fascinating because, like you, who's been in the financial services industry for a long time too. The idea of working with people who are in debt doesn't necessarily seem like something we were academically or professionally kind of incubated around. That was kind of like something that was really over here.
I really had that opportunity to lean into it because I started figuring out really early that my private practice, debt's not discriminating. And I was working with people who were making six figures, and I still do, but they had a major life change with that, or there was a gambling addiction involved, or overspending to the nth degree. And those were the kinds of clients I was getting in my private practice. And then in my consulting work with Beyond Finance, I've been there for four years.
Debt truly does not care what life event you've encountered: death, divorce, health issue, or job loss. And I think, COVID, of course, brought a lot of that to light. And I just look back on these last six years or so, just kind of in awe at how my career has unfolded and how it really mirrors, I think, what I felt from the inside out when it came to helping people with their money and even helping myself in that way of trying to figure out what shift do I take now?
Aneta (06:14): No, absolutely. It's interesting how when we pay attention, we see that the breadcrumbs are being laid for us, and you got curious about it. And we say, allow yourself to get curious because there are signs and directions. And of course, anytime you start something new, you think that you know the way it's going to turn out, and then something else happens, and you follow that direction. But talk a little bit more about debt because I think we know that this is such a common issue.
So what are some of the maybe the standard money beliefs that when people find themselves in debt, like what are some of the things that are kind of common across the board?
Erika (06:48): I would say by and far the first thing that is common when people get into debt is there's this overwhelming sense of shame. Everybody feels like they are a bad person for getting into debt. I mean, I think it's a universal experience. I think some people feel the shame a little bit more deeply. I think there's a degree of shame, but I don't think anybody escapes the shame, and I think that very much has to do with the way we've been conditioned both by cultural norms, our families, religious institutions, and the financial institutions themselves.
There's so much conditioning around what debt is, what it means, and especially what it means in terms of your self-worth and your deservingness as a human. So debt is just considered bad. Savings are good. Budgeting is good. Planning for retirement is good, but debt, my gosh, it's over here, and it's bad. It's very common to internalize the badness of the debt. We're giving a moral judgment to something that shouldn't have a moral judgment. And of course, people internalize that moral judgment as a moral failing, which of course turns into that shame.
Aneta (07:53): And it seems like if you have the shame, you have those negative emotions already happening, in your practice, how do you help people deal with that to be able to receive what they need to make the shift?
Erika (08:07): I really like to frame the experience of debt, the financial condition of debt as a financial condition. It it it is a temporary experience. Debt is something you have. It's not who you are. And I think the more you can kind of lean into the idea that, okay, the debt is not me. It does not represent who I am, what I stand for, or my values. This happened, or that happened.
But it allows me to then, in that reframe, treat this as a healing journey. I think anybody who is dealing with debt needs to view this as a journey of healing, financial healing, emotional healing, mental healing, and at times physical healing, because they're all interconnected, spiritual healing. There's nothing in our lives that is untouched by money. And I think that's the interesting thing about money.
And so when you have these overwhelming negative feelings around a financial condition, which is arguably the most negative, that's what we've been taught. It's important to kind of take yourself out of it a little bit and look at it as a path of learning, of growing, and healing. So you can start to, what I call it, is release that personal gravity of the It's just such a heavy weight.
And once you're able to release that personal debt that's holding you down, you're able to progress and move forward. But it takes time to get there, and it's not an easy journey, and just being there with somebody to walk alongside them, I think, is one of the greatest honors of what I get to do just in my life because it's so hard. It is so hard to get out of that space of I'm doing something wrong, I'm a bad person, debt is bad. Not like these other financial conditions or a heavy weight load.
Aneta (09:59): Yeah, it's so interesting because so much of the stories that we tell ourselves, whether it's about money or it's about our limitations, we cling to these identities that are not who we really are. So I love that you reframed it and said it's something that happened. It's a situation. It's part of a journey. There's a way to get out of it. There's a healing aspect to it. And also the fact that it does impact us holistically as a human because it really does touch everything. So one of the things I thought was really interesting about your background is that you are also a yoga teacher. And so, how does that practice pull that into what you were doing with clients, or how has it helped you as you are helping people on this healing journey?
Erika (10:41): Yeah. Some clients are into it, some aren't. But yoga, to me, is really about just connecting with yourself. The practice of yoga means getting back into your body. When you are experiencing a life situation or financial situation that makes you feel like you're living outside of your body. I think we have to find ways to make us feel interconnected or reconnect with our inner being or with ourselves.
And whether that is a traditional practice where you're practicing poses, that's one thing. But there are also other wonderful grounding aspects of yoga in terms of breathing. Yoga breathing is something I love to teach because it is so impactful, and it creates a sense of coming back to yourself and quieting the mind. We've got that monkey mind where we've got the chatter, and it's telling us that bad things are never going to get better. We don't have that space, that compassionate vastness that allows us to really see through the fog that exists because that's what so much of this does. It creates this fog, and that fog comes from that disconnect with self. And so I really do encourage people to find ways to connect with their inner voice and return to what is really important because what I also have found in my many years of doing this is when people in debt in particular are so overwhelmed and focused on the debt, they pay so much attention to it energetically and it affects everything else in so many ways and they stop paying attention to the things that really do matter.
Aneta (12:12): As you were talking, it just made me think of how dysregulated most people are, and especially when they're dealing with a stressful situation, they don't feel safe in their body. So we become very disembodied. So with the practices of breath work and yoga, two things that I also teach, which is funny. yeah, yeah.
So I know just the beauty of it, but have you ever worked with someone who was in financial debt, but very regulated, or did you find that most people are dysregulated?
Erika (12:48): People are dysregulated, I would say my practice, my observations anecdotally, I'd say it's a 70-30 split. I would say about 70 % are dysregulated. 30 % are like, okay, I got in a situation, let's get me like practically, you're ready to go. But I do find those clients don't have any sort of shame attached to I think the difference.
One example is I had a client who had gone through a terrible divorce, and she was just so happy to be done with the whole situation. She ended up with a lot of debt out of it, and she was so happy to be done with that chapter of her life that whatever she needed to do to move on from it, she was ready to do. But other people in similar situations create an entirely different emotional landscape.
And again, that is based on everybody's values, their backgrounds, all these things that make us who we are, definitely have an impact on the way we respond or react to life events and situations. But I would say by and large, there is a level of emotional dysregulation that exists.
Aneta (13:50): And, there are some terms that people use sometimes when talking about finances or money. They might say financial wellness, or some people will say, just want financial freedom. What terms do you like, or do you have some definitions for those two terms?
Erika (14:05): I think those two terms you think of as financial freedom, I really define freedom itself as value. I do a lot of values-based work. I really like it when people identify what their financial values are, which is a great thing to do, and be able to be flexible and creative with them. And I really identify freedom as a value.
Everybody has a different definition of what financial freedom looks like to me. It's going to look probably a little bit different than what it looks like to you, and so I think there are variable definitions when it comes to financial freedom. think that is a very individual type of adventure in defining it. Financial wellness, I define that very much as the emotional aspects of money. That is the thing that, it's beyond the numbers at that point.
We can be financially very well off. We can have all the financial literacy and knowledge in the world, but if you are emotionally dysregulated, you are not going to ever attain a level of financial wellness.
Aneta (15:03): Yeah, absolutely. And I do think it is individual as well. And so when people say it, it's so important to get clear what freedom is. What does that look like for you? And maybe sometimes it's not a number. Sometimes it's a feeling instead.
Erika (15:16): It's a feeling, it's time, it has so many considerations to it. And it is, it has to be individual. And sometimes I think when you're doing this early money work, it's so easy to anchor yourself to somebody else's financial values chip, we are humans. We tend to try and find some growth edges based on somebody else's growth edge or what they're representing, whether it's an influencer or a celebrity or, some advice we got 10 years ago from a professor, whatever that looks like. Sometimes we anchor ourselves to these things that aren't really ours. And I think that's some of the heavy lifting that we have to do when we're defining what some of these things mean to us, is really sit back and say, okay, is this my definition of this, or am I carrying something I inherited from somebody else, and that's their definition based on their life experience. What does my life experience say about this value? There's nothing wrong with carrying values for it. I think all of us do that in some ways, but sometimes forget that we reserve the right to modify or completely jettison the values that just don't work for us anymore.
Aneta (16:25): Absolutely. And speaking of being discerning around whether something is ours or we've brought it forward, what do you see in terms of generational impact on our money stories or behaviors? Do you find that people are continuing whatever previous generations taught them, or their experience was? Or do you find that most people kind of have their own experience?
Erika (16:49): Such an interesting question, because it's very nuanced. a lot of what a lot of what I'm about to say is, think, based on a lot of my observations of my practice. But what I definitely see is the boomer generation; they're set in their ways. They very much carry the values of the generation before them. And that's not a bad thing. But they are very results-driven. I almost want to call it type A. There is a right way and a wrong way to do things. And that is not a fault or a criticism
at all. Gen, they're a little bit more flexible in that regard. By the time we get to our millennials and our Gen Z, we've heard for years that people who have really valued their experiences spending, and even the Gen Zers to that degree, by and I'm an elder,
I'm like the oldest of the millennials. But what I'm finding with some of the elder to mid-range, I guess you would call mid-range, they are kind of breaking financial cycles and very interesting. They are really doing that deep. I don't necessarily want to say it's because, gosh, they can't buy houses or this economy's fault or anything like that. But I think it is.
this result of, okay, really putting together this idea that it's okay to bring your emotions into your money. And I really do think that started with the millennial generation. became, for Gen X ways, in some healthy doses, but I think in the millennial generation, it was okay to start talking about emotions a little bit. Now, once we get into our Gen Zers and our really itty bitty baby millennial.
that aren't babies anymore at all. That's where we really see these big mental health and money matters. And this is great. And so that shift has been paramount. And so what I think we're gonna start seeing is just a lot more emotional literacy in terms of financial literacy in future generations.
Aneta (18:46): It's so interesting you say that. made me think right away, as you were sharing that they're much more comfortable talking about therapy, seeking additional professionals to help with various areas of their lives. And so I love that they're bringing that into their financial literacy too, because maybe what they observed or they experienced in their own home is not what is going to work for them. And I think that because they're open to additional help. The younger generations, they know that there are people who can help them with that.
Aneta (19:15): Interesting. So if someone is listening and maybe they have their own money stories, and maybe it's like a story of scarcity, what are some things that someone with a scarcity mindset, what are some things that you usually do with those folks that can help them really to shift at least into an abundance or being open to being able to receive?
Erika (19:37): Yeah. So the work I do around this specifically, especially the scarcity versus the abundance mindset, is I do what I call financial triggers versus financial glimmers work. The idea of financial triggers or just the word triggers, people can kind of understand, like, that's stuff that creates some sort of negative emotional
or visceral reaction in us. That's pretty noticeable. And we've been trained, whether it's been subconscious or conscious, to know what triggers. We get tightness in the chest, or tummy rumbles, or whatever that looks like. A lot of it's somatic as it manifests. But we know, it's the panic attacks, it's the sleepless nights, it's the headaches, the belly aches, you name it. So we know what the triggers are.
And so I always think that when a trigger is present, it's an opportunity for us to dig a little bit deeper and say, " Okay, this is an opportunity for healing. Something has triggered me. I got a little bit of something here. And a good time to pause and think about, okay, this was the situation around it. I'm a big proponent of journaling. When I am working with somebody who's got a scarcity mindset in particular, I don't require a journal, but I highly, highly, highly encourage it and recommend it because it helps us identify patterns.
And pattern recognition is so important when you're looking at your triggers, especially when you're trying to heal a specific thing. I see this like almost going to the gym, you want to do some spot training, you have a jiggly belly, or your arms are flabby. You can't necessarily do spot training, but what this does is help kind of focus, and so we can treat things like holistically, I was talking about before, but it helps us identify those patterns in certain areas. Scarcity might be one area, but there might be other things over here, but that's what we're kind of trying to focus on. And so we start to identify patterns. We start to say, okay, I was in this situation, a bill came, and I didn't want to open it.
It triggered me. Why did it trigger you? Let's sit for a moment. What was your physical reaction? Think about moments in time that might've contributed to that. Did you watch your parents struggle with bills, and there was a stack in the drawer, maybe your mom was hiding bills from your dad? Things like that happen, and they affect us later. And so at the same time, I start the glimmer work, and what I love about the financial glimmer work is that the glimmers are those moments of positivity that make us feel
like we are experiencing financial wellness. Again, going back to my definition of financial wellness, it's that I am emotionally literate around my money. I can feel what it feels like to be emotionally in alignment with my financial values and goals. And those feel-good moments when I feel like I'm doing something right. This is like what the perfect scenario is. But the thing about glimmers, unlike triggers, is the glimmers aren't markedly obvious.
You have to train yourself to find them. And so it might be in a day, you're triggered by a bill coming, but yet at the same time, you paid your electric bill, no problem. And it was nothing. You didn't even register that you had to go find those things. And then you have to write about those things. And then you start observing the patterns, and the more you look for glimmers.
Even if there are triggers that exist that trigger that idea of scarcity. You can write that down, start noticing those patterns, and be able to check yourself in the moment as those triggers come up, or those thoughts come up, or those feelings come up into a glimmer type of mindset. Your list of glimmers all of a sudden becomes much longer. I don't think I've ever worked with a client who didn't have a longer glimmer list after a few weeks of this.
Aneta (23:13): because they look for those instances. So often, we don't look for the positives. We don't celebrate wins, even if they're small. We focus just on the negative or the challenges. And so I love that. It's kind of like a gratitude practice, almost as well. It's what are you grateful for? You look for it, you find evidence of it, and then you feel really good, and you find more evidence of it.
And of course, that helps dissipate some of the other emotions than when there are some other instances, because you're like, wow, this feels pretty good. I had an interesting thought, and I don't know if you do this type of work, but so often, of course, money is such a big challenge with relationships. And right now, knowing that some people have really healthy money stories, or maybe they're financially literate, and then their partner or future partner, if they want to get married or they want to move in together, they start to move towards a bigger commitment, maybe it's not on the same track. Do you work with young couples before they decide if they're going to make it official or combine finances? You do, you're nodding. So tell me more about that, because I think that would be really fascinating.
Erika (24:21): So, and you're right, money is one of the biggest contributors to relationships ending. We know that divorce rates are money and just somebody last week asked me this. The question was, well, do you recommend people checking each other's credit reports while dating? And I said, absolutely, yes. Yes. Not even a question. Maybe not something we do on the third date, talking to the point where there's a significant commitment coming up, like, moving in together, buying property together, getting engaged, having a baby, those things are all really important milestones in a relationship where these money conversations need to have been had way before then.
And so, in doing this work with couples, really of any age, because I think anybody can benefit from it, is making sure that you are creating financial intimacy, and financial intimacy is just as important as emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual intimacy. It's because money again touches every aspect of our lives. But sometimes it goes overlooked because some people look at me and raise an eyebrow and say, " Financial intimacy? Is that even a thing? I'm like, of course it's a thing. Because you are laying something out there that again, touches
every aspect of your life. And if you can build that financial intimacy, ultimately you'll build safety in your relationship. And when you can be transparent and vulnerable and build safety, that's when you find some common ground. know, everybody's going to have a different money story. Everybody's going to have a different set of values that they were raised with or conditioned with, which definitely affects how they are with money at present. And
in a two-person relationship itself. It's you, me, and us. And I think where a lot of couples end up struggling is that sometimes it becomes you versus me instead of us versus the problem. And so if you can start doing this work, which is creating a ritual around talking about money.
It's a money date ritual. And that ritual creates those moments of safety. And if you practice this ritual of money dates more frequently, you start to build that vulnerability, that transparency, that safety, to where you can start to understand where each other is coming from in a very compassionate way, where things feel more productive, and they feel more progressive. And you kind of let the idea of perfection go.
We all make mistakes with our money, and you might have something in your credit report. You're dating somebody, you kind of want to get married to this person. You might have something. heard that conversation a lot. Dr. Erika, I've had collections on my account for five years. My credit score is fine now, but I'm ashamed to let my partner see this. We all make mistakes in any part of our lives. And I think we have to give ourselves some grace and understanding that people do make financial mistakes, but it's what we do with those mistakes going forward. So it's also helping people understand that financial mistakes or missteps are also a part of this, both individually and as a relationship. You're not gonna do everything right all the time.
Aneta (27:35): Right. No, I love that. I love the permissioning to just say, " This is a part of who we are, and so open the books, let's take a look, let's have a conversation.” It's so much better to have that conversation early on and then make a decision eyes wide open than to find yourself in a situation later on down the road. So, I'm curious about any differences between your male and female clients.
Erika (28:01): Depends a lot on backgrounds and things like the expectations of roles while growing up. And there's again, a lot of nuance there, but I really find by and large that there are some differences; women are very take charge with their money. They are so good at paying bills. are on it. They're just really, really good at it, but they lack some confidence in some areas.
Things like investing, there's a lack of confidence. There's still, unfortunately, a lot of hesitation to get help from financial professionals that exist out there because they are women, and they are afraid that they're going to be misled. There's still a lot of that that exists. Looking at financial services 20 years ago compared to now, it's practically, I mean, I want to say a night and day difference, maybe not a complete night and day difference, but it has improved
quite a bit, the way of managing money and things like that. some of that distress that still exists. For men, there's still that pressure, right? There's that pressure to perform. There's a weight of the world on your shoulders in a lot of ways. And it creates a tremendous amount of stress with men, too. got said it earlier, everybody's got a money story.
And we definitely see it across genders, across generations. We see it kind of all over the place. I think there's so much space or opportunity, maybe it's an opportunity to start honoring those who are a little less confident. How do we, coaches, educators, how do we help make women feel a little bit more confident going forward? It's not that they're not bad with money at all. They just don't feel like they've got the capacity to do it.
Aneta (29:36): Yeah. And I think a lot of it just comes down to assumptions, like false. I remember working in financial services and talking to one of my colleagues who was in the wealth management area of the bank. And I said, "Do you really know the stats around who makes the financial decisions in the household?” And I brought to him a lot of data around the fact that women were inheriting
a lot of money because their husbands were dying younger. So they had more years left in life, and many of them were firing the financial advisors that their husbands worked with because they never spoke to them. They never included them in the conversations, and they didn't do a really good job during that transition. So they were finding someone else that they wanted to work with. Also, the oldest daughter typically in a household is the one who holds the power of attorney.
These were the stats from a few years back. You can correct me if anything has changed. So now these women were managing their parents' estates because typically the daughter was the one who was kind of put in charge to take care of some of these things for whatever reasons. And now they're making decisions. And at the end of the day, at the time back then, and like I said, this was at least 10 years ago, 76 % of the CFOs in a household were the women who were paying the bills, who were making the day-to-day decisions,
and so I said, how many of your reach outs are just for golf outings with the men? And they changed. And he actually looked at everything. He's like, "Wow,” he validated that what I shared was true. And then they made some adjustments and actually started including couples and having different kinds of conversations. So I don't know if any of those things have changed or what you're seeing, just in terms of who's really handling the finances in the households, is spot on with everything you just said. It's women. They're so good with the budgeting, with the day-to-day. the households and large. Not true in every situation, but I mean, that's correct. with somebody yesterday, with a tremendous amount of debt. My wife died last year
on her deathbed. Hey, I need to show you how to pay the bills. And she died before she was able to show him how to pay the bills. And unfortunately, he went through everything in a year.
And, you have to think about that too. And when you're grieving, you're trying to plug emotional holes. Sometimes we do that with money or food or whatever that looks like for somebody. That is such a common thing. And we do have to think about the role that women play, the important role in a household that they play. If they do not survive their husbands.
What happens to the husbands? And so you can see where both sides of this are really, really valid to consider. We need to include couples together. Everybody needs to have this financial intimacy with or without the help of a financial advisor, ideally with the help of a financial advisor, if they're getting to that point, but the right hand needs to know what the left is doing. You have to.
It doesn't mean that we can't assign somebody a job. You can't say, " Okay, I'm going to be in charge of paying the bills. You manage these investment accounts, or you manage the golf outings with this person.” But we still need to make sure that we know where things are. We both know how to do things, or at least know how to find things. If one of us dies or something.
Aneta (32:49): That's so true. So if someone's listening and they acknowledge that maybe they don't have the confidence, what's one shift that they could make in terms of getting control of their finances or just having a better money story besides working with you, of course, which will come out in a moment.
Erika (33:05): I think the first thing to recognize is that you're not alone. There are so many people out there, I think you had mentioned this, like this perception, that I have to know everything about money to be able to dabble in it. And I think what that does is it creates these walls. There are so many walls that we build up, thinking that we have to know everything about money before we can even try to figure it out. And then of course it just makes us feel dumb or stupid.
The amount of adjectives that are just disparaging that I've seen people belittle themselves. Over the years, it's crazy. You are none of those things. You are in 99% of the population, where we're just all trying to figure this out together. This is your first time on this earth. Let's not forget, we're all here for the first time, this is your first rodeo, we're all doing it together. Take some time to just ground yourself and say, "You know what, I'm not a person at the bottom just trying to figure this out. I'm going to steer my ship in the direction I think it needs to go. And if I'm feeling like I'm not the captain, being so great. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, but I'm gonna be okay with asking for help.”
Aneta (34:09): Yeah, so good, such great advice. Tell me, how can people work with you? If they want to, they're listening, and they thought, you know what, I probably need to reach out and learn the best way that they can find you?
Erika (34:21): The best way to find me is on LinkedIn. I don't have any social media other than LinkedIn. That's where I kind of live. But feel free to connect with send me a message on LinkedIn. And then if you'd like to see any of the financial wellness work I do, you can go to beyondfinance.com. And at the top of the website, there is a tab for financial wellness. And you've got a whole bunch of great resources there that you can probably put into practice and use for yourself.
Aneta (34:48): It's wonderful. I love everything that you shared today. I just think this is such a universal topic, and it's something that impacts everybody. And it doesn't have to be, like you said, an identity. It doesn't have to be a shame story that we have. We can absolutely take action and definitely encourage everyone to reach out to you to get the help that they may need. So I ask a final question of everyone, which is, what does it mean to you to live the width of your life?
Erika (35:16): I love this question. Living the width of my life means that I intentionally set aside time for myself every day. I am very much a put your oxygen mask on first type of woman. I wasn't always that way. I was the people pleaser who always put everybody first, and you burn out over that. And so I am very intentional in making sure that all of my days have a moment for myself, where I feel like I am truly in alignment with my inner being. So whether that is
yoga practice, whether it's five minutes or 10 minutes, that happens, meditation, I'll walk outside if the weather's nice, or hitting the gym, whatever that looks like. I do.
Aneta (35:55): That's wonderful. love that. And I think all of us can get a little bit better at doing that. So thank you so much for joining me today, and wish you continued success. Thank you.
Erika (36:03): Thank you so much.