2020's Surprise Blessing

2020’s Surprise Blessing

I will remember 2020 as the year that a group of people came together to meditate every morning, and helped each other to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

I began 2020 excited for the greatest decade ever.  As someone who loves to plan, I set my commitments for 2020 and the next decade.  While they may have played out differently than I’d intended, there were many silver linings, also. 2020 reminded me of what I intellectually know be true - I can’t control all of the circumstances of my life, but I can control my thoughts and my perspective. 

As I reflect on 2020, I will remember many lessons.  I will remember that it was the year that didn’t turn out as I had planned.  I will remember that it was the year that we were put in time out. I will remember the fear, pain, and outrage that we saw repeatedly when we turned on our televisions or refreshed our feed.  I will remember it as the year I spent more time with family, friends, and neighbors. I will remember it as a year of deep reflection and introspection.

And, I will remember 2020 as the year that a group of people, many strangers to one another, came together to meditate every morning, and helped each other to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

2020 pushed me out of my comfort zone and accelerated growth in ways that I didn’t think I was ready for. Five days into lockdown, I recognized that 2020 was not going to be the year I had planned for, and I knew that I needed to focus on serving others. What started as a way for me to serve, to give back, to do SOMETHING - turned into one of the greatest blessings.  

On March 17 I wrote in my journal that I could see that people were anxious, and that maybe I should offer a free meditation class in the mornings.  I wasn’t sure if anyone would join, but I felt compelled to share the offer on social media, with my friends, my coaching clients, and with organizations that I was working with.  On our first day, March 23, 7 people attended.  

Although many of us were initially strangers to one another, we came to rely on each other for support, encouragement, and accountability.  We celebrated birthdays, shared our needs and challenges, and developed genuine care and affection for each other. 

We live in different communities, many of us have never met in person, would never have met otherwise, and yet feel connected.  When someone missed practice, the group would notice. When members became ill or experienced loss, the group was concerned and supportive.  When someone experienced joy, we celebrated with them.    

Eight months later, I am grateful to say that our group has expanded and we still meet daily. This group has been one of the greatest gifts of my life.  A few weeks ago we had our group virtual holiday party.  We had our cameras on, dressed up, had our family members join us, and shared how we each came to join this meditation group.  We made plans for retreats and gatherings when we could safely travel and meet each other in person.  We expressed how this group has helped us to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

When discussing our silver linings and greatest lesson that we’ll take forward in 2021 and beyond, our group chose GRATITUDE.  While the pandemic may have brought us all together, it really was something bigger than that.  And for that, I am forever grateful.  

I reflect back on a journal entry from earlier this year that I wrote to myself: 

“Our life is a series of moments strung together.   Enjoy the moments in between, enjoy the silence, the quiet, the ebbs and flows, the chaos - all of it.  Learn to flow with each wave.  Don’t resist.  Float.  Breathe.  Enjoy the sunshine on your face.  Cuddle up and build a fire when it is dark and cold.  But, don’t ever wish a single moment away. Don’t ever rush from moment to moment.  Be present, be still, be focused, be you.  After all, this is all we have.”

While I miss some things from before, I also treasure things from this period of time.  I had predicted that 2020s would be the best decade ever, and I believe that now more than ever before. I believe that every single one of us has talents, gifts, experiences, thoughts, beliefs that are unique to us that we are meant to share.  What we bring to each other, to our relationships, to our communities, is special.  We have the ability to light up the world.

Yes, you can!

Yes, you can!

When you think we can’t go further, you can.

At the end of September my godson Gabe asked if I would participate in a pushup challenge.  When he asked me to join him and others on this challenge he created, I hesitated. I knew I could do 10 full pushups, maybe even 20, but I hadn’t done more than 50 in one day before. 

The challenge was to add a “0” to the date. October 1 we did 10 pushups, October 2 we doubled it to 20, and so on until the final day the goal was 310 pushups.  I told Gabe I didn’t know if I could do 310. He replied “You don’t need to do 310 today, you only need to do 10 on day 1. Can you do 10?”  I said I could and I reluctantly committed to the challenge.

The first few days were fairly easy. I did all of my pushups in one sitting, or I split them up with short breaks in between each set. After the first few days, the initial soreness went away and I could feel myself getting stronger and becoming more confident. 

As the daily challenge grew larger, I had to strategize. I started to mix up the pushups - wide, narrow, inclined, and modified, also.  I also had to spread them out throughout the day in order to get them all in before my energy was depleted.  

I started to notice that I had more energy in the morning so I would do 50 while I waited for my morning cups of coffee to finish. I promised myself at the beginning that I would not get hurt or to give up. This required me to strategize daily and then execute well.

We had a Facebook group where we recorded our daily challenge, we supported one another and shared how we felt daily. This community helped me to stay accountable, and also allowed me to encourage others when they needed support. 

Yesterday, I finished the pushup challenge having completed 310 pushups on the final day. I didn’t know if I could/would finish physically or mentally. Yet, I did without any injuries.

I realized early on that this challenge was going to be an example of how to tackle any large project, new endeavor, or really anything that scared me.  

Lessons learned:

• Sometimes we stop ourselves from saying “yes” to new challenges because the end goal seems too big, too hard, or too complicated.

• We may say “no” because we aren’t sure how or if we can finish. We allow our fears to convince us to not even try.

• What we worry about may not be the true challenge. I was worried about my strength, my endurance, and the threat of potential injuries before I accepted this challenge. I discovered that the greatest challenge was strategizing daily and then executing to the plan.

• When we think we can’t go further, we can. A strong mindset is critical.

• Completing something you didn’t think you could do is the fuel to propel you forward to greater heights.

I have said “no” to things in my life because I allowed fear to hold me back. However, this challenge reminded me that all goals begin with one step and one action in the right direction.   If you have put a goal off because you don’t know if and how you’ll accomplish it, I hope that my experience encourages you to say “yes”.

Season of Transformation

Season of Transformation

“I have resolved to live, not just endure, each season of my life” - healingbrave.com

I can’t get over the gorgeous colors in nature right now. Today on my morning walk I was amazed again at how the leaves keep changing to the most majestic jewel colors. It’s interesting that before they shed their leaves for several months, they don’t just drop their leaves despondently, but instead become even more beautiful. 

Today I was inspired to think about how we could each use this change in season to become a better versions of ourselves. Instead of dreading the colder days ahead, or wishing we were somewhere else, we can set positive intentions for who we choose to be in the next season of our lives.

Here are some ways to grow into this next season of transformation:

• Focus on self-care. Self-care is so critical for our optimal health. It is not a sign of weakness to take care of ourselves. Make a list of the things that bring you joy and schedule them into your day, your week and your month. They could be simple pleasures or finally making sleep a priority and starting a new bedtime ritual. Whatever you need, make time for it. 

• Invest in your growth and development.  Our education doesn’t stop once we finish school. One of the greatest ways to keep our minds strong is to continue learning. This could be reading/listening to books on topics that interests you, learning a new language, picking up a new hobby, listening to a podcast - the list is endless.

• Serve others. This year especially, there are many people in need. Choosing to focus on giving back and helping others is good for the soul and can instill a new sense of purpose and joy. Align with an organization whose mission resonates with you, or do simple acts of kindness for friends, family or even strangers. 

• Do things that scare you. Often we say “no” to opportunities because we don’t know if and how we’ll be able to do them. What if we said “yes” and took a leap of faith that we would figure it out? You may be surprised at what you’re capable of.

• Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt, acknowledge tiny steps in the right direction and celebrate your wins along the way.

Finally, choose to see the beauty and uniqueness of every season of life . “I have resolved to live, not just endure, each season of my life”. - healingbrave.com

La Dolce Far Niente

La Dolce Far Niente

When was the last time you did nothing and didn’t feel bored or guilty?

When was the last time you did nothing and didn’t feel bored or guilty?

I can’t recall the last time I did nothing all day long.  Yesterday, I did just that, and I relished every minute.  

This weekend my days and evenings were packed with activity and we went to bed late.  Saturday night I didn’t sleep enough and woke up exhausted.  I tried to follow my morning routine but didn’t have the energy to do much of anything.  

I begrudgingly canceled plans with my friends and instead stayed in my pajamas for most of the day.  I read a book, took a nap on the couch, soaked in the tub, and then watched “Eat, Pray, Love” with my family.  Although I’ve seen this movie several times before, and read the book at least twice, one scene in the movie stood out this time around.  

The main character Liz is in Rome with her friends in a barber shop when herfriend Luca states that Americans don’t know the true meaning of La Dolce Far Niente. Loosely translated this expression means “the art of doing nothing”  or “the sweetness of nothing.”  Now, how ironic and appropriate that I was practicing La Dolce Far Niente yesterday and relishing in doing nothing all day long.

In the morning, I enjoyed two delicious cups of coffee while staring out at the trees, flowers and sky. Then, when I was reading my book, a hummingbird flew directly in front of my face and hovered for at least 10 seconds. I was so taken aback by the proximity of this magical creature that I felt my breath quicken.  After my new friend departed, I looked up the significance of a hummingbird spotting, and found that they are reminders to suck the sweetness out of life, to be present and mindful - La Dolce Far Niente. 

I was reminded of how important it is to observe a day of rest and learn again how to pause and give my mind and body a break.  By the end of the day, I was more relaxed, my energy was strengthened, and I felt refreshed.  I now recognize the need to take a day of rest each week.  And, there are ways we can practice La Dolce Far Niente daily. 

How can we practice La Dolce Far Niente more often in our lives?

• Enjoy your cup of coffee or tea in silence

• Sit quietly in nature

• Read a book or magazine

• Put away all of your devices 

• Take a nap

• Listen to music

• Lounge in a hammock

• Take a leisurely walk

• People watch

If doing nothing sounds indulgent and maybe a little uncomfortable, start incorporating small, little moments throughout the day that eventually add up.  Over time, you may start to fall in love with this practice.  

How will you practice the sweetness of doing nothing?