[00:00:00] Krista: And so we wanted to provide a space where we could help people in that awakening journey and help people live a life that is specific to them, but is like something of purpose and magic and beauty, and I think if I would've had this book, I would be not only so much further on my path because it's not about that, but I would've been so much more happy in that peace.
[00:00:20] Aneta: We often hear people wishing us a long, happy, and healthy life, but what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breath depth and purpose of each day that matters most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian Kuzma, and join me weekly as I interview guests who have made changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention, gratitude, and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.
[00:00:55] Welcome back to Live the Width of Your Life. My guest today is Krista Williams. She is the co-founder of almost 30, a global community and brand dedicated to empowering individuals through life's transitions. As a co-host of the critically acclaimed Almost 30 podcast, she's a leading voice in spirituality and wellness, and she's also created the Morning Microdose, a top-rated daily inspiration podcast.
[00:01:18] Krista leads Luxury Wellness retreats and has helped thousands through her courses, the Life Edit and Metamorphosis, and her first book, Almost 30: A Definitive Guide To A Life You Love For the Next Decade and Beyond, which was co-written with her co-host Lindsay Sinek releases on June 3rd, 2025, and this conversation was just such a treat.
[00:01:40] Such a gift. I met Krista a year ago in London at one of her events, and she has just been so amazing to watch. We talked about everything you could imagine, including the book, the podcast, all things related to spirituality, to God, to food, to body, to relationships, and I learned so much in the process. Loved our conversation, and I think you will as well take a listen.
[00:02:05] Krista, thank you for being here today.
[00:02:09] Krista: I'm elated. We've already cruised and gotten warmed up, and so I'm ready to rock. I'm so excited to see you. It's been such a pleasure and a joy to know you. You have this real, magical ability to be very powerful and clear, but also soft and warm and approachable, and I just feel such love when I see your face, and when I see your name, and I'm grateful to be here.
[00:02:31] Aneta: Thank you so much, and I am so grateful that you are here. First of all, I met you a year ago. We met in London, at an event that you and Victoria Washington put on, and it was divinely guided. Like I remember getting the email. And knowing both of you from just Instagram, and I felt called, I told my husband, I said, I think I'm supposed to go to London, and I think I'm supposed to go to this event.
[00:02:57] And it was like not knowing why. And then meeting both of you and then you and I, of course, two Ohio girls, both Miami University grads, there was this affinity and this connection right away.
[00:03:11] Krista: Yeah, when you meet someone from Ohio, I love Ohio. It's stunning. I'm so grateful to have grown there. But I think when you meet someone from your hometown, you're just like, you get me in a way, not a lot of people do. And you are listening to the call to attend the event. It's just such a reminder for me of trust.
[00:03:28] I think when you're a creator or when you're an entrepreneur or when you do things that. You're like, hey, I hope you guys like this. I hope you come to my event. I hope you do these things. I just always have to trust that it's not even about me or what I'm doing. I create the invitation.
[00:03:42] It's about your relationship with God or your relationship with your soul that's going to call you to the place that's going to call you forward to the medicine that I particularly had in this moment. And so it's such a great reminder for me of trusting my process and trusting that the right people are magnetized to me at the right time.
[00:03:58] Aneta: And at the event too, I know one of the things that you love talking about, and I've seen you over time even expand, is using your voice. And also using your love for God in a way that is so powerful. There was like revival at that meeting. Some people came in, and it was supposed to be an event about elevating our voice and standing in our power and learning to use this vehicle that we have, and communication.
[00:04:25] And yet the spirit was moving throughout that room in every single woman. Like, I get teary thinking about it because it was so powerful.
[00:04:33] I
[00:04:33] Krista: I know I have chills. What I've noticed over the years, so I'm someone who grew up Catholic, growing up in conservative Catholic Ohio, and I didn't feel as connected as I would've liked to just growing up in the church. And so I lost my way throughout my high school and my younger years.
[00:04:49] And I've rediscovered and returned to God in the past five or six years. I've been deep in the spirituality and wellness space. So in that space, there are a lot of different offerings. There are a lot of different modalities and ways of being, and ways of learning and ways of practicing.
[00:05:04] But what I found is that there's a different experience. There's a different frequency and there's a different purification, and a feeling when you are connected to the Holy Spirit, and you can feel it in the room, you can feel it in your body. You can feel it in a way that I never felt when I was doing any other type of spiritual practice or principle.
[00:05:24] And it's shown me how the way of God is the way for me and the way of God, and having this one foundation, this one reference point, this one source rather than 20 deities or 20 whatever, it's like it's just made such a profound anchor in my life and I bring it into everything that I do.
[00:05:42] Aneta: It's so evident. And even before you and I hit record, I asked if you wanted to set an intention, and you started a prayer. It was so beautiful, and we invited God into this conversation, and for the greatest good of all, which is what I do even before I meet with guests, which is so beautiful.
[00:05:59] And I want to talk about the book because the book that you and Lindsay just wrote, Almost 30, Definitive Guide to A Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond. You sent me the PDF of the book and I got to read it, and I'd already pre-ordered it for my daughters because I am decades beyond 30, but.
[00:06:20] Krista: Looking like a 20-year-old snack. Let's say.
[00:06:23] Aneta: Thank you. And I have two daughters who are in their twenties. So my youngest is 25, my oldest is turning 27 soon, and I ordered a book, but now I'm like, no, I need to order a second one because I want them each to have their book. Because in the book, you covered every single thing that I wish I had when I was in my twenties.
[00:06:45] Every topic it's like you're writing a letter to the younger version of yourself, and you're also gifting everybody who reads it with wisdom that they'll get through their own experience. But it's like an inspiration to say you are going to be okay. Look at where we were. Look at how much has happened in our lives when we didn't know what the path was going to be to unfold.
[00:07:10] And you cover soul, God, body relationships, purpose, money, literally every single thing that all of us as humans, think about and struggle with, but from the perspective of if you're in your twenties, this is what was happening and this is what we've learned in the journey. So, how did the book come to be? Whose idea was it? Did both of you know you wanted to do it together?
[00:07:35] Krista: I'm so excited for your girls to get it. It's the best. So it is a spiritual guidebook to adulting. I don't remember getting much guidance beyond college. I'm so grateful I went to college on how to live life, on how to connect with God, on how to love my body, on how to be with finances, on how to find my purpose, or be on purpose, or have a career that I was excited about.
[00:07:58] It felt like it for me, where I grew up and how I grew up. It was like, Get a job. And then life just goes on, and you just continue. And for me, as a spiritual seeker and as someone who feels so deeply and always wants more for life and always has wanted to create a life that I love, I was so unhappy in my twenties.
[00:08:16] I felt so lost. I wanted to find purpose. I wanted to find meaning. I wanted to find a connection, and that brought me to a place where I was depressed and anxious for most of my twenties. And so my desire to do something with my life and my desire to find meaning and my desire for happiness or peace, was a lot of the inspiration that led us to create almost 30, which is the podcast that inspired the book and the period in your twenties.
[00:08:42] Mostly, your late twenties are so important because this is when your prefrontal cortex comes online. So your prefrontal cortex is responsible for your consciousness. So from the point until you're around 25 and 26, you're just acting in the way that everyone tells you to act because you haven't yet had it brought to your frontal lobe.
[00:09:03] So you're just doing what society tells you to do, what your parents tell you to do, what everyone else tells you to do. So when you have this awakening, this consciousness, come online. It can be powerful because you can now create a life that's meant for you and your soul. Or it can be very scary because you don't know why you're doing what you're doing or where you are.
[00:09:21] A lot of times, people will have this experience in their twenties where they're like, I'm in this job, I'm in a relationship I'm not even aligned to. I'm a person that I'm not even excited about or want to be. And that can be scary because a lot of us go through life without this feeling of connection to self or feeling of connection to purpose.
[00:09:40] And so we wanted to provide a space where we could help people in that awakening journey and help people live a life that is specific to them, but is like something of purpose and magic and beauty, and I think if I would've had this book, I would be not only so much further on my path because it's not about that, but I would've been so much more happy in that peace.
[00:10:01] And I would've known that this is all happening for a purpose and reason. Because in my late twenties, I was working at a job that I didn't feel aligned with. I was in finance management consulting in Chicago. I was in a high-rise. I was wearing the heels, I was doing the things, and I was miserable. I was crying almost every day in the cry room.
[00:10:22] I had this room on the 13th floor. I named the Cry Room because I just hated my job. I was in a relationship with someone amazing, but I didn't feel connected, or I didn't feel we were aligned. And then it was also in friendships I didn't feel excited about, and I was drinking and partying, and I was just doing all the things that everyone told you would make you happy.
[00:10:43] But they weren't making me happy at all. And so when I burned it all down and left the job, broke up with the person, ended the friendships, I lived in Patagonia for a month. I just did all the crazy stuff. I stopped drinking. My soul was like, we're going to make this crazy, and we're going to make this you look insane.
[00:10:59] But I knew it was like all things that ended up being really beautiful things to put me on my path of spirituality, of health, of deep friendships and relationships, and all good things. But for many of us, it's almost like the burning down of everything. Or, the rock bottom can seem so scary, but it's actually when we can build a life that's for us and that's for God, and that's more aligned to who we came here to be.
[00:11:21] Aneta: I love that. It's so interesting because so many Ohio girls, right? Move to Chicago. Go get a job in consulting and finance, especially if you go to Miami. I was in banking for 22 years. I didn't know you knew that. And it's so interesting when there's always a defining moment. I don't know how long you were crying in the room, but I was crying every day as well.
[00:11:42] How long were you in the state where your soul was telling you that's why you were crying? Your body's telling you. Your soul is telling you, Krista, everything here is not for you. But you still decided to wait, like there was this wait period. Like, how long were you waiting before you finally decided Enough's enough, I have to leave.
[00:12:03] Krista: I just want to say I'm so grateful for this question because. I haven't been asked it, and I just feel like it's such an important part of this process, and what I know now is that my feelings were indicators. It's not normal to be unhappy every day.
[00:12:18] It's not normal, but it's like I was not feeling well. That should be the only sign that I need. Feeling good is often the only sign that you need, and my feeling of unwell, my feeling of anxiousness, my feeling of misalignment, my feeling of this discomfort was all the signs of my soul calling me forward to do something, to leave the relationship, to leave the job.
[00:12:41] And so I would say, I would go in and out of this job with that sort of feeling of, sometimes my ego would get validated and I'd get a raise, or I'd go on a trip or whatever. But it was just a nagging of what am I doing here? How am I making a difference in the world?
[00:12:58] Like, who did I come here to be? How can I be in service? It was a sole frequency and a sole truth that I feel like is unique to my experience, unique to your experience. I do believe that there are people on this planet who really did come here to change things and did come here for good and came here on a mission.
[00:13:15] And when you are someone that's like that, which I can imagine, almost all of your audiences like that, you will not be satisfied with the world. Be of the world, but not in the world. Like you will not be satisfied with worldly things. You'll be only satisfied when you have a spiritual connection to God, or when you're connected to something greater, or when you're on purpose.
[00:13:33] And when I was trying to satisfy myself with worldly things, shopping, drinking, my job, money, whatever, I was never happy and satisfied. And so I would say the moment that shifted things for me was not as much me, but God. So at my first job, my boss was inappropriate with me.
[00:13:54] And I didn't understand, to be honest, I just thought boys will be boys. I thought that was what men do. And I thought that's how they talk to women. And I thought it was normal. And another manager at the company reported him for sexual harassment on my behalf.
[00:14:12] And so I became a part of this case for sexual harassment. And so where I was feeling uncomfortable and unhappy and unaligned, I was scared to leave. And so God stepped in and was like, this isn't ideal. This isn't comfortable. This isn't good, but I'm going to make it known that you shouldn't be at this job in this place.
[00:14:30] And so that kind of propelled me to leave the job eventually. And through that, I've learned that God's going to give you little pebbles, and hey, you don't feel good. Hey, you're crying in the bathroom. Hey, you're not even that productive. Whatever the things are. And if you don't listen or you don't take on and notice those little pebbles or those little feelings, God is going to throw you a boulder and he's going to blow up your life.
[00:14:50] He's going to make you move. And God had to make me move because I didn't have the confidence or understanding at that time of where I was going or why I would move when I didn't feel good.
[00:15:03] Aneta: Yeah. There's so much that you said there that completely resonated with me, and it's interesting. It made me think, I was at a mastermind like two weeks ago, and a friend of mine from Australia, he does somatic breath work. And before the event, he did breath work for me and for another friend who's also in the spiritual space.
[00:15:22] And a lot of stuff comes up during breath work. That night I had a dream and in the dream, my friend who facilitated was my subconscious mind, showed me that I stuff and I eat the things that want to come out. I just actually eat them back, put 'em back in, and then I'm like stuff.
[00:15:41] And it's something we learn, because if we were thinking clearly and could acknowledge that if I am having a feeling and emotions are coming up, and my body, my mind, my heart hurts, everything is telling me this is not right for you. And we are still consuming and stuffing it back into our bodies.
[00:16:03] And in your case, God was like, let me just make this a little bit easier for you, Krista, because you're not going to do it on your own. And for me it was very similar too. Sometimes, like the signals, the pebbles. The little tap is not enough, and we need something a little bit stronger. That wakes us up. That shakes us up.
[00:16:22] Krista: I'm so grateful you brought the food, conversation in, and the body conversation in because. That is such a real, poignant example. For so many of us, and me, for most of my life, the way I was relating to food was to avoid feeling, to avoid speaking my truth, to avoid my power, to make myself feel uncomfortable.
[00:16:43] It was just, I was using food. In such a dysfunctional way, overeating, binging, restricting, controlling, counting, all of these things. And when we can be really in our truth and acknowledge how we feel and honor how we feel, and be in right relationship with our soul, then we're going to relate to everything differently, including food.
[00:17:07] And I think so many women are using food as a crutch to not feel because they're big feelers or are using food to stuff down their voice and to keep them out of their power, and numb, food is such a numbing agent. And I think if we want to change our lives, we can start by looking at the way we relate to food, and we will be blown away by the things that will come up.
[00:17:28] Aneta: It's so true. It's something I've struggled with too. I remember as a little kid, like my mom would always say, you have to eat everything off your plate. So that was for me, a trigger and something that. I still have to remind myself, like, just leave a little bit, even if you're full, learn to trust your body to tell you when enough is enough, not what is left on your plate.
[00:17:49] And that's decades of undoing. And so you have made a big shift. And so I know you talk a lot about metamorphosis, which is one of your programs, too. But you've made a really big shift in terms of your relationship with yourself through self-love, through the way you appreciate your body, and it's physical, you've seen a transformation as well.
[00:18:12] So I'm just curious, like, how did that happen? When did it start because there's crazy stories in there about the trip to Mexico, like I don't want to give too much away in the book, but you've got some really interesting things in the book, especially in the body chapter that it made me sad but I could see myself in that story.
[00:18:31] Krista: Yeah. So I'll explain my journey with my body, and I'll explain a little bit of the Mexico story because it was a low point. It was probably my lowest point of desperation to change my body, my desperation to be thin. The whole life that I wanted was on the other side of being thin.
[00:18:47] The relationship, the success, the money, the joy, the freedom, and the liberation, if only I could be thin. If only I could be in a body that I loved, then everything would happen to me. Everything good in my life would happen. And it was only my problem and my issues with food that were keeping me from that.
[00:19:04] And I'm someone who grew up in a family that was interested in bodies and interested in what people looked like and their weight and their physical appearance. They would talk about people on TV, they would talk about other people and what their bodies look like, and if they were fat, if they were thin.
[00:19:20] All of this stuff. And then they also hyper-fixated on my body from a young age. I had an older sister who was very tall and thin, and I just wasn't; I was just had low curves from a young age, and I was focused on as being a problem for that. And I'll never forget, my mom loves her, we're very close, but she said the biggest fear that she had when becoming a mom was that her kids would be fat.
[00:19:46] And when you're little, you metabolize that as okay, I love my mom. I need her, she's everything. And so the biggest fear, I don't want to ever have her realize the biggest fear, or I don't ever want to be rejected or abandoned. And so being fat would be that. And so there are little comments that our parents can make.
[00:20:03] We can hear on social media or online that sets the stage for a dysfunctional relationship that we have with our body for the rest of our lives. So those types of comments compounded with the crazy diets that were available for us. SlimFast, grapefruit, master Cleanse, South Beach, like all of this stuff, like grapefruit, I did them all, and a lot of it was my fear of my power.
[00:20:29] A lot of it was a dysfunctional relationship with my mother and looking for nourishment and soothing from something outside of me because I didn't know how to be with myself. And that lasted pretty much my whole life until the past couple of years. And I'll never forget I was walking across my living room at my old apartment, which I shared with my ex, and I was just running through my day, a normal day in my mind of my Tetris game.
[00:20:54] I walked this many steps. I worked out this much. I ate this much, I had this many macros. I weigh this much, and I was doing the math that I do every single day. Okay? So I worked out this much. That means I could eat this much. That means I shouldn't have had this much, that means I should weigh this much.
[00:21:09] And it was just like so much energy, time, and attention being spent on all the math that relates to the body and food. And I thought to myself, I think I'm going to spend my whole life thinking about this, and I think I'm going to die playing these games, and I'm going to die on this hamster wheel, and I'm going to die with this obsession with my body and with how I look and food.
[00:21:34] And I just had this like acceptance, a little bit, where I just surrendered. I was like, you know what? Here we are. This is what it is. And for some reason in life, I've realized that when we can accept things, then we can transform them. And this is a concept coined by Carl Rogers, who is very powerful in the psychotherapy space.
[00:21:53] He talks about the paradox of transformation that, oftentimes, we have to accept things truthfully for them to transform. So from that point, I was able to find a therapist. That supported me in my body journey. I was able to start to do parts work, internal family systems, which changed my relationship to my body.
[00:22:10] And I really just started on this healing journey that was not only physical, where I was doing hormone panels and changing my supplements, and I was also just really diving deep into the spiritual and emotional, and mental components of the relationship that we have with food. Because I think if we want to change our body, we have to change our mind.
[00:22:28] We have to change how we relate to food. And I've found that over the years, the relationship to food is so much more than just calories in, calories out, and what we're consuming and eating. It's how we're relating to it, how we're being with it, and so many more things. And so at this point in my journey, just to bring people where I am today, I'm so deeply free. I'm so deeply at home. I'm so deeply pleased with my body and how I relate to it, and it doesn't mean I'm the perfect weight or not the perfect weight. I don't know how much I weigh. I don't track anything. It just means that I can now be and know that I'm so much more than a weight.
[00:23:04] I'm so much more than a scale number. I'm so much more than calories. I am a soul that is choosing to be here on earth in this physical experience and this body. And my soul experience is so much more the priority now than my physical
[00:23:18] Aneta: First of all, you're just so beautiful inside and out, Krista, and when I see you, your inner light shines through and I'm always curious when people spend so much time, as we all do, as many women do tracking and doing all the things, and just the amount of energy that we spend thinking about all this stuff.
[00:23:38] What has been the shift in other areas of your life when you let go and you're like, wait a second. I don't need to spend all of my energy, all of the goodness that I have on tracking, and I'm going to just treat my body with love, love myself. What else has shifted as a result of that? What were the biggest changes that you've noticed?
[00:23:59] Krista: Yeah. I want to answer that, and I just want to speak to the Radiance piece. If I'm living in an experience where my entire mindset is that there's something wrong with me, I'm a self-improvement project that never ends. I'm something that needs to be fixed. That frequency and that energy are what's surrounding me.
[00:24:16] That's what people are seeing and experiencing. And now that I'm just like here and I allow my inner light to shine out, there is so much more radiance and beauty. I've felt more beautiful than ever by letting go of that kind of conversation with my body. But I've noticed so much change and shift.
[00:24:32] I'll say a first thing that's been present for me is, I was in a long-term relationship, and we broke up. We were together for 10 years, and I've been dating and being in a relationship with men, and I think for a lot of women, we don't allow ourselves pleasure. We don't allow ourselves to enjoy our bodies and experience our bodies.
[00:24:49] And that doesn't just mean sexually, but it means like also cuddling and loving and touching and being close with someone. And when you love your body and you're comfortable in it, and you feel safe in your body to receive and experience love. I've just experienced this really beautiful exchange of energy with men that feels so safe and so tender, and so respectful and so joyful because I love, honor, and respect my body, and therefore they do too.
[00:25:17] I've also noticed that I'm able to be more myself in every moment. It doesn't mean, I'm perfect, but it means I can go into any room and it's me that they're seeing and speaking to, not the part of me that feels like I'm not enough or the part of me that hates my body or the part of me that wants to control their experience with me.
[00:25:35] It's me, and it's my soul, and it's the person that I am. And so I've had better, deeper relationships with people, whether it's work or friendships. And then I would say as a third thing, what I've also noticed is that. I'm able to go so much more deeply in my spiritual practice because I no longer have so much noise from the conversation around the body.
[00:25:55] So my mental capacity is just like 50 fold. I'm able to do more, produce more, create more, experience life more because I don't have the second conversation constantly happening. And just a last thing that I'll say is. I'm very intuitive. I'm very psychic. So now that I'm out of that mental conversation, it's challenging for me to be around women who struggle with their bodies, not because it brings up something for me, but because there's an aspect of you that's never fully present.
[00:26:26] You are always in the game, and the rat race and the maze of your body, how much you worked out, how much you're eating, what you shouldn't eat, what they weigh, and you're just never fully present. And so I'm now able to be fully present because I'm not thinking about anything related to my body. I'm just here in the moment.
[00:26:43] Aneta: That's so true. And I think people forget, we think that we have a body and that the soul is within, and the soul is so expansive. Our spiritual body and the body are just the physical vessel that we have right now. And when we're able to take better care of it and honor it and see it as an extension of our spiritual self, something shifts and something shifts.
[00:27:07] To our relationship with food, and just by blessing food. You know, there's a really beautiful practice of saying grace, of giving thanks. It makes the whole experience holy and sacred, which it is because you're feeding and nourishing this one vessel that you have for the rest of your time here on Earth.
[00:27:27] And if we could just make that shift, I know that when I'm present in that way. Everything is different. I'm able to enjoy the meal. I'm able to eat more slowly to savor. I love the word savor, it just sounds exactly the way it is to just savor and to enjoy. It's one of the earthly pleasures that we've been given.
[00:27:47] Krista: Yes. I love that, and I love that too, just to bring to people the ritual that they can do to support themselves. Because when I talk about this body stuff, if I were listening to me when I was struggling, I would be like, that's not going to be my reality. That's never going to be me.
[00:28:02] That's not possible. But it is things like what you're talking about. That makes such a difference. So ritualizing your meals. What I love to suggest for people in metamorphosis or just in general, is to take the time to have at least one meal a day. Undistracted. So that means no phone, no media, no YouTube, no podcast.
[00:28:22] That means even in quiet, not in your car, not rushing, not standing, sitting in front of your food, praying over it, blessing it, which changes the vibrational frequency of the food. And just really allowing yourself to be present to the texture, to the five senses, to the feeling of what it's like to be eating this nourishing meal that you've been gifted, like.
[00:28:44] There were so many things that had to happen to bring that food to your plate and your body, and your table. And when we can eat slowly, not only do we digest food better, but we feel more satiated. We feel more satisfied. We feel more connected to our bodies and other people and other things.
[00:29:01] And so eating one meal, undistracted, is a huge way that people can reconnect with their bodies and food, and something that people can do today.
[00:29:09] Aneta: I love that. And do you bring the Metamorphosis process into the retreats that you do as well?
[00:29:14] I.
[00:29:15] Krista: Yeah. So the metamorphosis process is about changing the relationship you have with your body by changing your mind. It's a spiritual approach to body transformation. And I do the method, I'm going to be doing the method this summer at Omega in New York. So we're going to be doing the metamorphosis method with everybody, and then I was going to do it in Switzerland, but I changed my Switzerland retreat to be about the divine feminine.
[00:29:37] And there is body elements to the divine feminine, but, I just really have felt so many women crave to be more connected to their feminine and their softness and their intuition, and to their rest, and their power, and their groundedness and their oracle, and I want to support women and feeling more connected to that because I found that the more connected I am to my feminine, the more connected I am to my wholeness, to my truth, to all aspects of me.
[00:30:05] And it's just been such a beautiful thing that I didn't know what I was missing out on until I became more connected to my feminine. And now that I am in my feminine so much more often, I have a great balance.
[00:30:16] I'm in my masculine, I'm in my feminine, and I don't judge either. But now that I'm more in my feminine, I've just been able to savor life, like you said, and have the juiciness and richness of life be experienced in a way that I want for all women.
[00:30:29] Aneta: I love talking about masculine and feminine energy because I think intuitively my entire life, I've spent a lot of time in the masculine, probably because that's what's rewarded. Our whole educational system is based on that solid achievement-based on validation and working harder.
[00:30:47] And then you move into, of course, higher education, especially, you've got to jump into finance, I did too. And we're surrounded by male energy, and we're surrounded by this constant approval when you are acting in a certain way. And I don't know that I ever had a playground to be feminine.
[00:31:06] Like, I don't even remember a time when that was just a permissioning. I don't think I ever had that. And so now, finally, later in life, being able to say, no, I want to experiment with being more in my femininity. And we're not talking about gender. This is not gender for people who don't know what we're talking about.
[00:31:25] The masculine is going to be the drive, the achievement, staying on task, all the things that we're rewarded for, and they're positive. And the feminine is being and resting and allowing yourself to be in the creative space, being connected to the divine, being more in your spiritual practices, all of that.
[00:31:45] And when I allow myself and permit myself to do that. The most amazing things happen that I never would've been able to do on my own. It's just like in the act of surrendering that so much goodness has happened. So I'm curious, what was your introduction to the feminine? What are some of your favorite practices, and how do you bring yourself back if you find yourself defaulting into the masculine for too long?
[00:32:12] Krista: I love that we're going in this direction. This is like one of my favorite things. I'm like, what I'll first say is that. I also like to bring in the texture of remembering that for a lot of us, we demonize the masculine because we believe that's the problem. But for a lot of us, it wasn't that we were in the divine masculine, it's that we were in like an unhealthy masculine, like a toxic masculinity, distorted, just doing, producing, creating without reason.
[00:32:40] The endless, not enoughness. Disconnection with the body, disconnection with self. Disconnection with God. So a lot of us weren't necessarily in divine masculine, but like a toxic masculine. And then we've also probably had experiences where we've been in a toxic feminine, like gossipy, competitive, judgmental.
[00:32:57] So there are aspects of things that we have to grow through in life, but my relationship and journey with being more in my feminine happened at the end of my relationship. I had been in this relationship for a very long time, and the template I saw of relationships was that the woman overfunctions, she does everything, she's controlling.
[00:33:18] She's like always leading, guiding, facilitating. She's responsible for understanding the money. She's responsible for earning money. She's responsible for the direction, she's responsible for the guidance. And the man, my dad in this case, who's an angel who I love, but wasn't strong or solid or didn't hold a frame or container, or didn't create a space where my mom could feel safe to be in her softness.
[00:33:41] So they had an imbalance. So I saw relationships as imbalanced, and I needed to hold the frame of the masculine. So when I left that relationship, after so long, it gave me this permission slip to reintegrate and recalibrate to my natural state, which is more balanced, masculine, and feminine.
[00:34:00] And so for a lot of people, it can be a little bit more challenging if you aren't in a relationship to support safety that allows you to be in the feminine because to be in divine masculine, or divine feminine, you first need to be safe. So finding that safety within yourself, within your body, is going to be the thing that is necessary for you to experience and exhibit and be in your feminine or your masculine.
[00:34:23] And so when I created that safety within myself through therapy, through internal family systems, parts work, then I could be like, okay, I feel soft and safe enough to feel comfortable in my body, to savor food, to create and paint, to slow down to rest, to not do so much. After all, I realized I was over-functioning because I didn't feel supported in the relationship.
[00:34:47] So I would say the relationship ending was a huge component for me. And now it's just been a really beautiful unfolding of re coming back to the feminine, and more so, I want to bring through re coming back to wholeness. I love my masculinity. I feel so grateful that I've created so much with it, that it's helped me so much.
[00:35:07] It's helped me balance, it's helped me stay logical. It's helped me stay connected, and it just was in a place where it was doing a little bit too much, and we didn't have enough of that softness coming in.
[00:35:18] I
[00:35:18] Aneta: Yeah. What is your human design?
[00:35:22] Krista: Generator, I'm a generator. I think I'm a three-five.
[00:35:26] Aneta: Okay. I'm a manifesting generator, and so I think we generators have so much energy, and so we are built to do and to get things done. And like you said, it's great when we're in the divine masculine and still remind ourselves that it's okay to be in the feminine and be softer and rest and do the things that sometimes don't require us to perform and to be on all the time.
[00:35:52] It's like such a performance-driven thing. And so that's been helpful. But I want to go back and talk a little bit about the relationship, if you don't mind, because I know you've talked about the ending of the relationship. So I'm curious when you're in a relationship for as long as you guys were together, 10 years, and there is an identity that comes along with being a part of a couple.
[00:36:14] And so when that relationship ends and you are just Krista right now, and you are together from a young age, so I'm curious, what is it like to build an identity outside of somebody else, just Krista now, after all these years?
[00:36:35] Krista: Man, I tell you, it's the pleasure of a lifetime. It's the joy of a lifetime. Again, this man is amazing. He was instrumental to my sculpting and developing, and I'm not saying you're saying that, but I'm just saying that like nothing about that, but to be someone who had been in a relationship most of my life and had been codependent, and someone who defined myself by others.
[00:36:58] And I think a lot of women who are empaths, who are deep feelers, who are people that care very much for others, we oftentimes self-erase or self-sacrifice or forego what we truly want to do and create in life for the comfort and safety of connection. And I had been doing that for most of my life, in my friendships, most of my life, in my romantic relationships.
[00:37:21] And so to come out of that space where I had not been speaking my truth. I had been denying what I wanted in life. I had been dishonest with myself about, who I was and what I felt and what I wanted to create is just such a pleasure and feels like such a opportunity and almost like addictive, where I'm like, wow, I love now only checking in with myself and being like, okay, what do I want to do?
[00:37:48] What do I want to create? Who do I want to be? It's such a beautiful opportunity to really, truly check in and sculpt and redefine and recreate, and I think that at the end of their relationship, women usually process while they're in a relationship.
[00:38:02] So I was processing the last year, the breakup, and the breakup that I knew was coming. And so I used a lot of that time to recalibrate to my essence and my frequency and the person that I was. And so when the relationship ended, I felt really good. I felt excited. And now it's just been an even more beautiful experience of getting to know myself.
[00:38:23] And what I'll say last is that, when you really truly know yourself at the deepest core level, and it's outside of the lies and outside of the illusions, and outside of the limiting beliefs and the lack of self-worth, and you know the self-hate or the judgment, and you truly know yourself as a child of God and as divine and as perfect, it is like your standards just go through the roof and you no longer have availability.
[00:38:52] Or exception or opportunity for anything less than the best because you know how incredible you are, and you know how much you have to offer. And so now my standards for friendships and relationships and my partner are just so incredibly high in a way that feels healthy, in a way that feels true, in a way that feels exciting.
[00:39:14] Aneta: I love that. And I love that you're sharing your dating experience online.
[00:39:20] Krista: Oh yeah, because you're a subbie. You guys, my subbies. Get the tea.
[00:39:26] Aneta: We get the tea. So I pay to know what's going on in Chris's life in her sub-community, and my husband is vested in your dating life. I think I messaged you because we were watching some of your videos, and he's not. Just tell her this is not going to work out. This is not okay. So it's so funny. So he always asks, What's going on with Krista anymore updates.
[00:39:50] Krista: I am going to give an update. It's funny, after we're done, I have a subby update, so a part of my journey, because I'm a public figure, there are aspects of it that make it hard to share certain things, like dating. As an example, I'm a woman who wants to have a husband at some point, and I don't want him to be hearing about all the riffraff of my dating process, you know what I mean?
[00:40:08] I wanted to find a space where I could share honestly and openly, because I'm learning so much, and I'm enjoying myself. It's fascinating, the relational aspect of stuff. So I have a subscriber channel on my Instagram where I share everything, and it's just everything moves quickly, so it's hard to keep up.
[00:40:24] But it truly has been such a joy for me to process with you guys and to share about things because I'm new to dating, I haven't dated in over 10 years, 15 years, and the lessons that you learn and the things that you're gifted are just wild. And I chose it to be fun.
[00:40:41] So it is fun, but there are times when it's not fun. I will say that.
[00:40:46] Aneta: Do you think that you'll write a book about this in the future?
[00:40:49] Krista: You know what, I definitely could because I am having a lot of interesting experiences, and I think I've learned so much. For example, I am dating someone new, and they're moving. And my therapist, she's amazing. She's been with you through this process. She called out recently. She's like, I find it so funny that you became interested in him when you found out he was moving.
[00:41:17] And I'm like, and she's like, there you go again. Going for an unavailable person. And I'm like, I thought I had gotten past that. It's just like the perfect little container for knowing and understanding yourself. And I think if what I try and do, even when I'm fumbling and failing at points, is just see everything as a spiritual lesson, a spiritual gift.
[00:41:38] And what I do know is that I trust myself enough at this point that I'm attracting people that are amazing and incredible, and I'm attracting instances and situations that are supportive of my growth. And I can trust that, and I'm learning what I want. I'm learning what I don't want, and when you're older, because your standards are so high, it just makes the bar for your husband or your baby daddy so much higher than when I was in my twenties.
[00:42:02] Like when I was in my twenties. I was like, you need to be tall, attractive, and my friends need to like you. And now I'm like, what's your credit score? What are your spiritual beliefs like? What is your morning routine like? It is like a whole thing.
[00:42:14] Aneta: No, but I love that, and I know you share the different types of people that you're dating, and of course, everything is done so tastefully. It's not like Krista's sharing all kinds of things. I don't know all kinds of details, but I do love that you talk about what people bring to the relationship and what you know the experiences are.
[00:42:32] And you're doing it in a really curious way, and I love that. And you're processing for us what's happening and noticing some things, wondering if that's an indicator, good or bad. And I think that's so helpful. I got married young in my twenties, but my daughters I tell them date, but know what you want, know what your standards are, know what you want, and also do your work so that you attract the person and the partner that you want.
[00:43:01] Like you also have to continue to do the work at the same time as you're expecting this other person to come into your life. So, what are some of the high-level qualities that you want in a long-term partner?
[00:43:13] Krista: This is cute. This is manifesting for us. You're helping me manifest right now. I want to, I'll answer that, and I just want to say something that you made me think of was that, in this, I think what I'm doing with what I do is take radical responsibility. So each one of these men is coming into my field because I'm attracting them.
[00:43:31] And how I engage with them. I'm never the victim. If anything happens, I'm never the victim. I'm responsible. I can communicate. I can say no, I can set a boundary. I can move on, I can stay. So I think that's the one thing I want anyone to take forward with dating is that you can choose who you let into your life, in your field, you can say no.
[00:43:49] You can set a boundary, you can choose the experience that you want to have. And I've carefully curated my experience. Doesn't mean it's always perfect, but I'm monitoring and I'm watching myself every step of the way to see how I'm engaging with things. But the qualities of the person that I'm looking for. First, they need to have God as the foundation. They need to have a spiritual foundation for their life. And I've had beautiful experiences with men who have been deeply connected to God, and it's shown me how, when we have that, there's so much that's covered. I trust where you're going.
[00:44:23] I trust who you're getting approval from. I trust who you're connecting with. I trust your values. I trust what you're gauging yourself against. And so that covers a lot. And so whatever people's beliefs are, it's like making sure to have your foundation set is good.
[00:44:39] I want someone funny important to me, because funny is like intelligence and play and banter and presence all at once. So funny is so important to me. I want someone who's growth-minded, someone interested in growing and developing in life. I want someone who's sovereign.
[00:44:55] Someone that is led and motivated by God or by their path and purpose and isn't going to change who they are for the people they're around or the people that they're connected to, and has this own center and source of their own, desires and wishes and mission in life because I've come to find that as I've gotten older, not a lot of people are very clear or grounded on their path.
[00:45:20] And a lot of people are very wishy-washy or wobbly, and will people please and go along with things or whatever. But they're such a beautiful power and anchoring with a man that's clear on who he is and where he is going. And then I'll say, as a last thing, play is so important to me.
[00:45:37] Like I said, humor, but it's also just like play. Like I love life, and I'm the deepest person, and I need to be playing more. I need to have that dynamic oscillation between depth and play. And so I always want to be with someone who is incredibly playful and brings joy to life because life can be really hard and life can be long and there can be a lot that we go through, but if we're playing, it just can be the best time.
[00:46:03] Aneta: So good. This or something better for you. That's why I say all of those things and let God create that perfect mix that is just perfect for you, Krista.
[00:46:14] Krista: Ab, what about your husband do you love? What qualities have you found have been qualities in him that you've just really valued?
[00:46:20] Aneta: So he and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in July. I know. So blessed. And it's crazy. Like, I dated all the wrong people in college, and then I met him two weeks after I graduated from Miami. I went backpacking through Europe, actually, no. So like a month and a half or whatever.
[00:46:39] But when I came back, we were set up together at a wedding, and the thing I noticed right away was that he was such a great listener. He just asked so many questions and was so fully present, and that was just so nice and beautiful, and we did have the same shared values and background and faith, and so all of those things that you said were so important.
[00:47:02] It was like a foundation. And then we just really both wanted family, and we would have a family however we could. Like it was just important for us whether we had our own or adopted, so there were just things that we talked about right away, because I was serious.
[00:47:18] If this is going to go somewhere, you have to have those conversations. And I say I've learned things. People always say, What's the secret? And I say, there are a couple of things. And they all start with a C. There's chemistry, which is important, but there's compatibility across the board, and communication.
[00:47:37] When things get really hard and compromise, and of course, there's respect and all the other kinds of things, but when you have all of those things as a foundation and you communicate and you're there to acknowledge like, I love you so much and we're in this forever. There's just, I know there's a safety. I think that's the other thing, like I always felt safe in my relationship. I never once in the 31 years we've been together have I ever doubted like that. He was like committed and all in, and that's so important for me. That was just something that makes me feel safe.
[00:48:15] And then, of course, from that place of safety, all the other stuff can get figured out.
[00:48:21] Krista: You know what I love that you just brought through that I want to just highlight is the commitment part and...
[00:48:27] We had a podcast guest on the other day, and it was profound. He had written down his list of things that he was looking for, and he's an amazing man, and he met his wife, and he's as soon as I met her, I knew, I knew she was the one for me.
[00:48:40] And he's it wasn't like I made her prove. To commit. I committed when I met her, and my commitment was what drove us and continued to deepen and create the relationship that we wanted. And I just love that. And it doesn't mean we're like committing before it was just like, it was a beautiful reframe.
[00:48:56] because I think when we think about meeting someone and just committing right away, it's scary and crazy, and it's like it isn't always the best. So I just want to caveat that nuance here, but I just love that. I think so often now people are wishy-washy and tepid and not sure, and wanting the best thing and wanting the perfect thing and wanting something better.
[00:49:14] That when people just don't commit to something and commit to choice and commit to choosing. And even if it's committing to choosing them today in this moment for this now time, is it what you can commit to in a relationship? And then when you do that, you're growing and you're developing and something's happening that is both very meaningful to you.
[00:49:32] Aneta: It's so true. And we were both I was in Cleveland, he was in New York City. And so for us, I think we made that commitment that we were going to go all in and see if this was going to work because of the distance. And so in that, I think, accelerated everything in a way. And, this was like the early nineties, so we were like writing letters on a house phone.
[00:49:51] There were no cell phones. We didn't even have email at the time. So it was a beautiful long-distance courtship, which I think really helped, and in today's day and age of like constant connection, but also feeling so separate sometimes from other people, that was beautiful.
[00:50:07] It was wonderful to wait in the mailbox for a letter. Or a call at night, at eight o'clock, and make sure. No, I was like, nobody else is getting through on this call. I'm not picking up the call, waiting.
[00:50:18] Krista: Yes. It's like intent, it's intentional, and you're focused and you're trusting and you're listening, and there's just such a beauty in that because it is different now. There are so many options. There are so many people, there's so much quickness, so much in and out, and. I'm in my little vibe, so it's not like I'm perfect.
[00:50:34] But I just love that. And it's funny because my ex and I were together, definitely one of my soulmates, together for 10 years, we did long distance for the first year we were together. And I enjoyed it. I loved it. I loved how it allowed us to deepen. I loved how it allowed us to focus on our connection over the physical, and it allowed us to build a sense of trust and intimacy that I think would've been missed if we had been physical in person.
[00:50:57] Aneta: Yeah, so true. Krista, I could talk to you forever. I want to talk a bit. I miss you so much. We have, I have to see you again, so we'll have to figure it out. Come to Cleveland. I know you've got a place here.
[00:51:10] Krista: Yeah. I'm down.
[00:51:12] Aneta: What is your intention with the book? As you think about birthing something, writing a book is so personal, and there's a lot that comes up, and I know you've done podcasts and you have so many hundreds of episodes, but did you find that writing the book was more intimate in some ways? Were there any doubts or fears or anything that came up in the process?
[00:51:36] Krista: Yeah, it's a great question. During the writing process, I never had any doubts or fears. It felt natural and easy, and I'm someone that's very in touch with my emotions and able to process and share, and I enjoyed it actually because I'm in such a quick hit type of, career where it's create something, put it out, see if people like it, do this thing.
[00:51:55] Everything's fast. So it was nice to work on something that was long-term that made me think about what I've learned that made put together my life's work till this point. But I'll say that the process after you write the book, where you're having to market it and promote it and see if people like it, and come up against your limiting beliefs of what's possible.
[00:52:15] And, I'd say that's been challenging for me. I'm someone who lives in an era or a space of growth edges. But I think this is hitting on a lot of the growth edges that I have and a lot of the things I struggle with, which are related to my thought that I'm not successful enough, or my thought that I'm not, profound enough or my thought that I'm never going to do.
[00:52:34] I'm doing all the things but not the right thing. And so the book is the best. It's an incredible work, and I think that's what's helped me calm any fears that I have when I'm in my beliefs that this is not enough, I'm not enough. I just remember the truth that I've read that book a few times.
[00:52:51] I've written the book, it is an amazing book, and I'm like, outside of my judgment and my fears, this book is here to serve. And this book was like a labor of love. I put so much vulnerability and rawness in there. I have so much of what I teach and live by today that I know if I had had this in my late twenties, I would've felt way less lost.
[00:53:10] I would've been able to see the truth of the path, and I would've been way much more mentally well, spiritually well, physically well than I was during that time. And so it's like with anything that we do where we put ourselves out there or where we create or where we go against a growth edge or push ourselves, that's at our comfort zone.
[00:53:28] How can we just remember the truth? If you are here to serve, if you are here to do good, if you are here to offer something to the world that you truly believe is going to help people, that's all you can do. Come out of the illusion of success, New York Times bestseller, how many copies sold, and just be like, I know this is good, and I know this will help.
[00:53:46] Aneta: It's going to help. It's so amazing, like I said. So people can buy the book now, right? We could do the pre-order, which I did, and you're offering a couple of specials and different things, bonuses, if you do it now, tell us a little bit about that.
[00:53:57] Krista: Yeah, we have a free online virtual summit. So the virtual summit's going to be amazing. We have Sahil Bloom, we have Jillian Tereiki, we have Shelene Ayana Rising Woman. We have Spirit daughters Saade, Simone, and Natalia Benson. And we just have a great lineup of people that are going to be incredible and profound in helping people uplevel and hit their newest timeline this year.
[00:54:19] So that event comes free when you pre-order. It's called Almost 30 camps. You can go to almost30.Com/camp and pre-order the book to get a ticket to join us on that day. There'll be thousands from all over the world, just really tapping into their highest timeline. And then we also have a Saturn Return Masterclass, which has a lot of different modules on supporting you, like from a tactical level with the book.
[00:54:40] And then we have a Saturn return guide. So basically the book, Almost 30 is happening during your Saturn return, which is an astrological event that happens in your late twenties that kind of correlates to all of this information, and so the Saturn return guide can support you and your astrological signs specifically on where you are going and what's happening during this time. So there are a lot of different goodies. If you go to almost30.com/book, you can see all of them, and you can read all of them if you pre-order.
[00:55:09] Aneta: I love it, and I'm going to get more books for other women that I know in their twenties because I believe so strongly in this book. It's so good. And I want them to be able to attend this summit. I adore you. It's weird. I want to say I'm so proud of you because like I just look at all the things that you're doing and it's so inspiring for me.
[00:55:27] Who started this next chapter of my life later? It's just so beautiful to see. And I'm inspired by your speaking and the writing, and the podcast, of course, which has the most amazing guests. I ask everyone a final question, which is tied to the title of the podcast. What does it mean to you to live the width of your life?
[00:55:47] Krista: I know I'll never forget when you said this, we were in London about it, and I was just like, that is just so incredible. I think living the width of my life is just living the experience that is unique to me and my soul. And so that means making decisions that sometimes are hard.
[00:56:02] That means doing things that are different. That means living outside my comfort zone at points in times, like doing something like this. But it's those moments of push and then the moments of like, experience that I feel like helped me live the width of my life. But yeah, I just, I love that question.
[00:56:18] Aneta: Krista, thank you so much. We'll include all the details of the course in the show notes, and I'm so grateful that you said yes when I asked you to come on.
[00:56:25] Krista: Of course. I was like my girl. Anytime. This is my joy and pleasure.
[00:56:29] Aneta: Alright, thank you so much, Krista.
[00:56:31] Thank you for listening to today's episode. If today's conversation inspired you to dream again, break out of your comfort zones or reflect on what it means to you to live more fully, then please follow this podcast because every week you'll hear more stories from people just like you who took imperfect action towards their goals, created more joy and are living the life that they always dreamt of living.