Burnout Isn’t Laziness: Perfectionism, Nervous System Healing, and Real Self-Care | Victoria Evans
We often believe that new beginnings require more effort, more goals, more resolutions, more discipline, more clarity. And what I've learned over time for myself and also with my clients is that new beginnings, they usually ask us to release something first, not to push. We can't carry old identities into new seasons.
And we can't build something new while still gripping onto something old.
Welcome back to Live the With of Your Life podcast. If this is your first time here, my name is Aneta Ardelian Kuzma, and I am so grateful that you are tuning in today. If you have listened before, subscribed, welcome back. I'm so glad that you are here as well. And if you're listening to this at the end of January, this is our last episode of the month. And this is a closing episode. It's really important as we close out January.
Before we move into what's next, I want you to pause with me because new beginnings don't start with doing more. They start by letting something else go.
And if you're watching at the end of January, there's a good chance that maybe you're feeling one of two things. Either the energy of the new year has already faded. Maybe it feels like we're already months into the year, or you're just quietly wondering why you don't feel as motivated as you did, maybe at the end of December or at the beginning of the year. And I want you to offer yourself a reframe.
January in the Live the Width of Your Life book was never meant to be a month of execution. It was meant to be a month of planting. And planting always begins with creating space. So before we rush forward, before we decide what our February should look like, I want you to slow down in this moment. And I want us to reflect together on what's present right now.
We often believe that new beginnings require more effort, more goals, more resolutions, more discipline, more clarity. And what I've learned over time for myself and also with my clients is that new beginnings, they usually ask us to release something first, not to push. We can't carry old identities into new seasons.
And we can't build something new while still gripping onto something old. And in the book, I talk about how letting go isn't a failure. It's actually building trust. Trust that what sustained you before may not be what sustains you now. It might mean releasing expectations that you've placed on yourself for roles that you've quietly outgrown.
Habits that once kept you safe or maybe made you feel like you are safe. And timelines that no longer feel true don't serve you any longer. And if January has felt uncomfortable for you this year, or maybe it was slower than you expected it to be, it doesn't mean that nothing is happening. It often means that something is just loosening its grip.
And as January comes to a close, I want to invite you into the same reflection that I do this time of year. Not to judge yourself, not to evaluate your productivity, I just want you to notice.
The first question I want you to ask yourself is, what dreams have emerged? Not what you've acted on, not what you've committed to, but what has surfaced recently? Maybe quietly, something has just started to bubble up for you. A new desire, curiosity, a whisper that maybe you've ignored for too long. Even noticing if there is a new dream. That's helpful.
And question two is what beliefs or stories have softened?
Maybe you've noticed the phrase or the belief that you're behind doesn't feel as loud. Or maybe I should be further along doesn't bring true anymore. Or maybe I have to push harder, no longer fits who you are. You don't need new affirmations yet. Sometimes growth is simply not believing the old stories as strongly as we did before.
And that is huge.
Question three: What actions have you taken, even small ones, the tiny aligned actions that we take? We often discount the kind of action that doesn't seem impressive or maybe isn't as big as we'd like it to be, but action could be resting. It could be telling yourself the truth.
saying no, listening more closely. Maybe it's stopping something altogether that doesn't feel aligned. I do that all the time. The older I get, the easier it is for me to do it. If you honored yourself more honestly this month, that is an action. And that is something to celebrate.
Now, if you want to go a little bit deeper with this reflection, I've created something to support you. I've talked about it before on the show, and it's called Live the Width of Your Life Assessment. And it's a free tool that I created that looks at 10 different areas of your life, allows you to just examine your baseline. How are you feeling in these different areas? No judgment, not asking you to solve for anything yet. It just really helps to identify
maybe some areas that you want to focus on. And the link is in the description below.
January wasn't asking you to become someone new overnight. It was asking you to remember, to notice what wants to grow, to release what feels heavy, to begin gently.
This is how we build the width of our life, not through force, but through awareness. And the awareness becomes the foundation for what gets to come next.
And to help you build this awareness more or to make sure that you stay in alignment, I've also created a daily alignment template. It's a simple five-minute practice. It is not complicated, but you can return to this every morning. You can print copies for yourselves. You can do it digitally. It just allows you to stay connected to what matters most, showing up, being accountable to that every day in the morning and in the evening.
It's not about productivity; it's more about presence and staying aware and aligned to the choices and the commitments that you've made to yourself. And I've also included the links to that, so you can download it below for free again. And as we move into February, the month of February, the invitation starts to shift. If you're following along in the Live the Width of Your Life book, which I highly recommend that you do, because it's an easy way to stay accountable to yourself with just daily posts,
They're inspirational, there are journal prompts, and there are challenges. Our focus for February is self-love and service. Sometimes we think of February as the month of Valentine's Day of romantic love. This really allows us to focus on love and compassion for ourselves. Because once we create space, as we did in January, the spaciousness, we can learn how to care for what's emerging, what's coming in. And self-love is not selfish.
It's how we become available to others without depletion. And service doesn't begin with sacrifice. It begins with wholeness. So if January helped you to create more space to notice what's emerging, February will invite you to tend to nourish and to let that care ripple outward into the world. And before we move on, I want you to hear this. You don't need to rush.
You don't need to catch up. You don't need to prove anything to yourself or to anyone else. And if all that January did was give you a greater sense of awareness, then that's enough. Because awareness is where the transformation begins.
And if you're feeling called to explore what this could look like with a little bit more personalized support, I'm here for you. If you're ready to realign your success with what is true for you internally, I would love for you to just book a complimentary clarity call with me. It's 30 minutes. We'll explore where you are, where you want to go, and even discuss whether the sacred success coaching is the right next step for you. And you can also find that link below.
If this conversation resonated with you, if it was helpful at all, I would invite you to subscribe to the channel so you can come back and be notified every time a new episode is available. And if it really was helpful for you, I would love for you to share it with someone else who could also use the same message. And if you are called, leaving a review means the world to me. Next week, we will begin February's theme of self-love and service.
Thank you so much for being here. Have the most amazing day.