How to Heal Emotional Wounds & Return to Your Authentic Self | Edita Petojevic
[00:00:00] Edita: It's a subtle feeling that's there all along and you carry on with your life. You do things, you're in the doing mode. You either studying, working, but you have this inner feeling, I can speak for myself. I could feel it in the stillness and the silence when, you slow down and you feel a yearning for something. And I couldn't quite define what that was. What is that? What do I miss? And I remember my therapist once asking, when I started studying what do you miss? And I remember saying, I miss my childhood.
[00:00:29] Aneta: We often hear people wishing us a long, happy and healthy life, but what if the length isn't what matters most? What if instead, it's the breath depth and purpose of each day that matters most? Welcome to the Live the Width of Your Life podcast. My name is Aneta Ardelian Kuzma and join me weekly as I interview guests who made changes in their own lives to live more fully with intention, gratitude, and joy. Be prepared to be inspired by their stories of how they shifted their mindset, took courageous action, and designed the life that they always wanted to live.
Welcome back to Live the Width of Your Life Podcast. My guest this week is Edita Petojevic. She's a licensed psychotherapist and supervisor with 16 years of clinical experience specializing in helping individuals, couples, and groups reconnect with our authentic selves and find greater meaning of fulfillment in their lives.
She lived in seven countries. She worked with diverse clients globally, and she offers therapy in three languages. She's trained in psychodynamic person centered and cognitive behavioral approaches and specializes in compassion focused therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and trauma treatment.
She views each person as the whole, the body, the mind, the spirit, and addresses everything from anxiety and depression to relationship challenges and trauma. She's also the creator of the Return to Yourself program, a practical body-centered approach to working with the nervous system that helps clients process emotions.
Integrate their experiences, and develop emotional regulation. This evidence-based program is now supporting people worldwide in their journey back to themselves, and she is a dear friend and we are doing the Return to Yourself program in Croatia in May. So I was so excited to talk to her about her background, how she is helping people holistically, and we do talk a lot more about the Return to Yourself program as well. I loved our conversation and can't wait for you to listen to it. Take a listen. Edita, welcome to the Live The Width of Your Life podcast. I'm so excited to see you today.
[00:02:35] Edita: Thank you. Likewise. I was just thinking it's Friday and I'm so happy that we made this time and space just for us to talk because we're both so busy. So it feels like a luxury to be here.
[00:02:48] Aneta: It is so nice and I love when I get a chance to talk to my friends on this podcast and to share their gifts and their magic with my audience and my community. You and I met, I think it was just earlier this year, is that when Dean introduced us.
[00:03:05] Edita: Yes.
[00:03:06] Aneta: So I love when I think back to people that I have these relationships with and I go, how did we actually even connect? So we were connected by a mutual friend, someone I used to work with who introduced us. You are in Croatia, I'm here in the States. And he said, I think you two are just going to hit it off. And from the first time I met you, I was so excited and I just felt like a genuine connection.
[00:03:30] Edita: The feeling is mutual, really. And it's so funny because I was talking to Dean as we are talking, I didn't know you then. I didn't know even who you are. And he just goes in the middle of the conversation, you need to meet Aneta. Who's Aneta? And that's literally how it started. You remind me so much of her and I have his words in my mind. And I think about them often because he was right. We have so much in common.
[00:03:54] Aneta: Yeah, it's so interesting and I want to get into your background too, but you and I, we are definitely connected. We're both from the former Yugoslavia. You live in Croatia and I live in the States now. We both, I think, are so focused on helping clients and helping people to live their genuine, authentic lives. Do you mind just sharing a little bit about why you went into psychotherapy and some of the things that you're noticing with your clients?
[00:04:23] Edita: Why did I go into psychotherapy? That's such a big, broad question. Where do I start? But to give you an overall kind of, general answer, I think that it's really a passion. I've loved people ever since I was a child. I think I've always been very intuitive. And this is something my parents have told me, that you picked up on things.
You were just very in touch as a child and I pointed things out. I've always been very curious. So I think with the war that started in Bosnia, in the nineties. I think that made me even more curious, like why do people behave like that? And so with my background also having lived in Bosnia for eight years and then, moving to Sweden as the war started, I think that also triggered me to want to explore human behavior, wanting to understand.
And I think also really wanting to do good. I think I saw myself as a young child wanting to explore, and then I carried from there. I went on to I didn't think I was going to become a psychotherapist. I think I just wanted to learn.
I just wanted to understand. And as I was studying psychology, and I did my bachelor's on that path. I realized, you know what? It's actually the conversations that I enjoy. It's the connection with people. And so from there onwards, I realized, I think I want to become a clinician. Like I really want to sit with people, look at people, see, hear, understand.
And so I started to study psychotherapy. To be completely honest with you, I think it really has to do also with where I came from, my own background. my need to understand might need to touch and connect to touch people. Also, to connect with people. I would say probably that's how it started.
[00:06:00] Aneta: That must have been completely devastating and so challenging for you and your family to have to leave your home and to move to another place. Yeah, war is just so challenging and so difficult and it shapes so much of who we are. How long did you guys stay in Sweden?
[00:06:18] Edita: We moved to Sweden as a family. I have a sister and together with my parents. And I was eight, eight years old when we moved to Sweden. So I was very young transitioning on to a completely new country, to a language I didn't understand. Not knowing whether we would stay or not.
So all of that, that uncertainty. So from there and then learning to adapt to the culture, to the language, I realized that when I started studying, I actually used a lot of that, that introspective work, today, I can really understand my clients with the changes they make, whatever they may be going through. I can see how helpful it is today in my work with clients.
[00:06:57] Aneta: Wow. Very young. And then you chose as an adult to now move to Croatia. Tell me more about that decision.
[00:07:07] Edita: I think I need to give you a little background before, you asked me about how I became interested in psychotherapy. We touched a little bit on my history as well. I think my way of also surviving that environment, the changes I found my coping strategy in also playing basketball, sports.
So at a very young age I started to play basketball and I became very good at it. And so I think it was really my outlet. My way of belonging to the team, to the environment. So on that path, I played for the Swedish national team. And then I started to play professionally and so I actually moved to the States and played college basketball and started studying psychology.
And from there, back to Europe. My path has been very much about continuing to explore continue to grow. The sports I think really helped and the moves to other countries made me really curious about wanting to understand people learn more. So when you asked me about Croatia, I feel okay, I have to take you a few steps back to know that I think I was searching for myself ever since coming to Sweden. I think I always felt like I was missing that part that they took away from me. And coming to Sweden, I found the safety, stability, the sports, but then I kept moving to other countries and playing and studying, and I could always feel like, I took a little bit.
I integrated with that part, and I took a little bit of that part. I felt like this is becoming me. I can see who I am today. I was becoming myself literally on that path, and when I moved back to Sweden, shortly after I met my boyfriend, who is my husband today, and we had kids, now we have two kids.
And I think I still had that feeling that something is missing. I think really it's my inner child though, you know that life coming full circle.
I kind of always felt like I want to connect with my roots. I feel strong need to connect with my roots to truly return because I could look back on my life and I think I've been making these moves wanting to both find myself, who am I, what do I need?
But also to integrate all parts of me. My husband is also from Dalmatia, Croatia. So we were talking about this. He's like, oh, I feel the same. I also have this. You have it too? And we just started to really talk about it. Yeah. And we made this wild move back after 10 years of living together and raising kids in Sweden. The whole deal, buying a house, having security, we risked it all.
[00:09:44] Aneta: Wow. That's so interesting. I didn't know that you lived in the States as well. And for people who don't experience what you experience, which is leaving not because you wanted to, but because you had to, finding home somewhere else, trying to still maintain culture, language, history, and all of that in a foreign place. Can you just explain maybe what that longing feels like, because you're at this point raised in Sweden. You lived there for a long time, but yet there's still this longing for something else.
[00:10:19] Edita: Yeah. How do you explain that? It's a subtle feeling that's there all along and you carry on with your life. You do things, you're in the doing mode. You either studying, working, but you have this inner feeling, I can speak for myself.
I could feel it in the stillness and the silence when, you slow down and you feel a yearning for something. And I couldn't quite define what that was. What is that? What do I miss? And I remember my therapist once asking, when I started studying what do you miss? And I remember saying, I miss my childhood.
[00:10:51] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:10:51] Edita: That was the first thing that came out. And I didn't even think it just, and now when you're asking me this, I think what I missed? What was taken away from me? It was taken away. I felt robbed off of something I didn't get to follow through.
[00:11:05] Aneta: Yeah. Innocence is lost at a young age.
[00:11:09] Edita: Yes. So it wasn't by choice, right? It was necessity. And I think it's the same thing for my parents, and I can speak, I've had many conversations with my parents about this, and as a young child watching your parents go through this trauma. Fleeing from a war you pick up on things. And that's also how my intuition grew strong. That I could feel them yearning but not daring because we were young.
They had to keep us safe. They had to make sure we were safe. There's a war going on and I absorb that like a sponge. Like, I wish I could do that for them. And I think that even grew stronger through them. So in a way I think it's a collective. It's also within the family, but it was also within me. Yeah.
[00:11:55] Aneta: Your husband did he also live in Sweden because of the war? Did he also have to leave
[00:12:02] Edita: No, I would say he left Croatia because of the consequences of the war, I think. As we know after post-war times are rarely easy. And so he wanted to make a better future for himself and so he decided to come to Sweden to work and just create a better future for himself. So he was actually living in Sweden for 15 years even prior to meeting me.
[00:12:25] Aneta: Wow. Were you drawn to him because of your Balkan backgrounds?
[00:12:30] Edita: What an interesting question. I haven't thought about that. To be honest with you, I think initially I was not drawn to him because of the Balkan, and I actually, I felt a resistance because of everything I had been through with the war. And I could cognitively think that, it's safer for me to choose someone who doesn't have that kind of complicated background and because there are also a lot of fear factors and things that come with war. But after, once we got to know each other, I could feel we had a lot in common. We could relate to one another. We had a lot of things we shared. I learned a lot from him, from his history. So I think that definitely brought us closer.
[00:13:10] Aneta: Yeah. What did your family say when you said, we're going to go back? You left. You brought us to safety. You built this life. You sacrificed so much to bring us to Sweden, but I have this desire to move to Croatia.
[00:13:30] Edita: They didn't believe it at first. We had bought this lovely house where we said we're going to live for 15 years where our kids are going to grow up. No way. I don't think they believed it in the beginning. Also, have in mind that my parents, I mean, Croatia is the eighth country that I moved to, so they're used to me playing basketball so professionally, me doing my master's and studying and being all over.
So they finally thought, finally, she's back in Sweden and I had been back for yeah, 10 years. So they're like, okay, that's it. So I think it was a shock, honestly. I think it was a shock for them initially. But then after a while it's interesting. I could see them getting excited almost like I was doing what they had wanted to do.
[00:14:14] Aneta: Yeah. Had they come to visit?
[00:14:18] Edita: Can't get rid of them.
[00:14:21] Aneta: Of course with the grandchildren, you're the secondary reason they're there, it's the kids, I'm sure, but what was it like for them to come back and I guess you guys were from Bosnia. Did have they gone back to Bosnia since they moved away? Yeah.
[00:14:36] Edita: Yeah, definitely. They've been back plenty. The first time we traveled back, was in '98, 1998, once it was safe. So since then we've been back. They also have an apartment. They, in Serbia, my parents. And so they go there and they stay now that they've retired. Spend a lot of time in the Balkans.
It's a difficult one. and maybe I speak for a lot of people now when I say this, when I hope a lot of people can relate. I've heard a lot of clients say this when you left your country you have to flee a war and start over somewhere else you change your identity, you become someone else.
In a way, it is still home, but it's not home, home and not the home that you knew. So everything changes. So you start to find homes a little bit everywhere and you start to integrate that. And I think that's where both they are at. And I'm at where your people are at. That's where home is.
[00:15:28] Aneta: Yeah, it is true. I think that even for my parents, so I immigrated when I was very young with my parents and they used to always call Yugoslavia and now the part they're from is Serbia, right by Romanian border. They always called it like Acasa, like at home.
They have an apartment there. They love visiting, but it's not home because they've changed and the place has changed and the people change. And so it never is, the expression is you can never really go home. It never is the way your memory is of it. And your memory is probably still also have gone through so many filters of what it is but now you are in Croatia.
You've built a new life there. So what have you experienced in terms of the life that you've built in Croatia, and how is it different than maybe the life you and your husband built in Sweden?
[00:16:20] Edita: How is it different? So many levels. I don't even know where to begin. But I think lifestyle, we live Istria, Croatia, and I think the reason why we moved, we really wanted the quality. I mean, We were happy and Sweden, and that was not the reason we moved, but we had this vision of the lifestyle we wanted to live, being outdoors a lot nearby the sea every day, almost every day.
We are very active people. We love to be in nature. I think that's one major difference that in Sweden, the climate doesn't always allow you. The weather is, all year round. You spend a lot of time indoors and here we are outdoors a lot there's so many aspects.
I don't know how to sum it up. Yeah, it's more relaxed here. It's way more relaxed being here, because history is, I mean, the people here, the culture is different. People are very laid back in it. Yeah. Everything is okay. Take it easy. take your time. I very rarely see people being stressed. They are, obviously there's stress here as well. I think they approach life differently. They don't go by the rules and structure. Everything has to be perfect. It's more going with the flow, feeling your way through.
You do what you feel. And for us, we are quite structured people. Both of us, we run our own businesses, we're self-employed, and so that works perfectly. I think that combination,
[00:17:41] Aneta: I love that. And speaking of Istria you have been doing retreats there with your clients for how many years now have you been doing your retreats?
[00:17:53] Edita: We moved here three and a half years ago. So I've been doing it for three years now. I think it took me two months to create the first one. After being here for two months, I just said to my husband, I have to get my clients to come here. This is amazing.
Like this place, I just want people to experience it. I want them to experience what I experience here, what I live, and I want them to see it, to feel it. And so yeah, three years.
[00:18:18] Aneta: Wow. And. You asked me this year if I would be interested in partnering with you and doing one of the retreats next May in 2026 together. And I think we're actually have two sets of dates now. Let's talk a little bit, and of course, I didn't even have to think about it. I said. Absolutely. I just think that you and I know work so well together.
We both want similar things for our clients. So this retreats can be a little bit different because we get to both facilitate, we get to work on this. So let's talk a little bit about the retreats when they're available. Because I know that the listeners, they would want a reason to come to Croatia right in May.
[00:18:59] Edita: Yes. What would be your reason, if you ask me like, to anyone listening, what would be the reason? I would say the reason would be the same one as for me, return to yourself, and that's literally the name of the program, like return to Yourself. So when I came here, I felt like I had returned.
My life was coming full circle, all this moving around traveling, and finally I was making it home, but also not just home to my roots, but also really to my authentic self. So I think in anyone's reason would be just to connect on a deeper level with themselves and to feel what authenticity feels like.
[00:19:37] Aneta: Yeah, as we've been building the agenda, the itinerary for every day. I love that we are incorporating the location, so of course taking advantage of the water, of the beautiful hillside, of the history of Istria. So there's magic in just the location, but there's also just this beautiful pace of regulating the nervous system, of breathing deeply, of doing the deep inner child work that you do, and also just allowing people to leave with a really strong vision of what's next. So the arc that we've built, I think, really is for everybody. I think every single one of us wants to return back to ourselves.
[00:20:21] Edita: Yeah. definitely. I can hear that. I can feel that with my clients. I can feel that with people, anyone I talk to, really. When you listen to people, whoever you might be talking to, there's a yearning to be ourselves, to connect with ourself, but also to connect with one another.
I think in general, there's a distance in today's world, we're very busy, we're often disconnected on our phones and so we don't make as much time to really connect and for that community that we so need as human beings. And one thing that I have noticed in my retreats is that they love the group, they love the connection they form.
And often they continue having these connections even after the retreat. So I think it's also a return to yourself. A connection with yourself is also a mirroring in one another and connecting with one another.
[00:21:12] Aneta: I agree with you, there is such a need for connection right now. There is such a need for community, for being able to feel safe, to share vulnerably, to learn from one another, and it's always amazing to me to see when people come together on the first day, especially if none of them have met before. And then to see those relationships five days, six days later, however long the retreat is, it is incredible because they're there, they're going through the same thing.
They're sharing, they're built this trust and there's a sense of safety in the container. And, you're right, people hold onto those relationships. I just did my retreat in Morocco. The WhatsApp group is still communicating. People are celebrating successes, celebrating each other's birthdays and what's happened because you can't just go back and pretend like you didn't have this shared experience together.
[00:22:13] Edita: Yeah, that's it. I actually had participant write in my evaluation form after the retreat. He said something along the lines, I'm just blown away by how fast we could create such a profound connection with one another. And I think it was just a realization of kind of like, first of all, why don't we do this in everyday life? What is stopping us? And then wow, I didn't even know it was possible.
[00:22:37] Aneta: Mm-hmm.
[00:22:37] Edita: So close to someone in such a short period of time.
[00:22:41] Aneta: Yeah, absolutely. And you and I are going to grow even deeper connected too. It's what happens and I'm so grateful. And as of now, we have two sets of dates. So if someone's listening, I want for people to know what's available. Do we have those finalized? Edita, you feel about it?
[00:22:57] Edita: Yes, we do. Would you like me to say them?
[00:23:00] Aneta: I would love it.
[00:23:02] Edita: We have one, shorter one of five days, and we have a bit longer one of six days. So we have 13th until 17th of May, 2026. And the next one, the one after that, is 24th until 29th of May.
[00:23:17] Aneta: Yeah. I'm so excited. And they are both in the same location.
[00:23:23] Edita: Fažana, Istria, and that's also where I live. We're gonna visit Istria, we're not just going to stay in Fažana. It's also important, so whoever comes, they get to see more of Istria, both the seaside, coastline, but also the countryside. I mean, Istria, is just magical, it's called Terra Magica. Really magical place.
[00:23:43] Aneta: And for those that maybe haven't visited before, it's close to Slovenia, to the north. It's close, of course, across the Adriatic. You can go to Italy if you'd like, Venice it's not too far away. And I love that, of course, in Croatia, you could take a boat and just go to the different locations, different islands, so there's plenty to do for those that are curious about maybe staying before or after the retreat as well.
[00:24:11] Edita: Yes, we have it in one of the programs. We are gonna do island hopping we're gonna go on boat excursions. I mean, you cannot come here and not do that. So yeah.
[00:24:19] Aneta: I'm so excited. It's going to be amazing and I love being able to just be there for a bit and then go visit family as well. But I think if anyone is curious and they want to do deeper work, I think that this has everything. It has the retreat elements and doing some deeper content, deeper work, as well as then allowing for more joy, for more play, for a little bit more, regulation as well. So it's going to be pretty exciting. And I think we have capacity for about 10 people in each retreat, is that correct?
[00:24:54] Edita: I would say maximum 12 people just to give another two spots. But yeah we'll see. I mean, if the need is there, we might open up for a third round. Let's see.
[00:25:04] Aneta: Yeah, we will include links to join the wait list. Because I have no doubt that between my clients here in the States and yours as well in Europe, that these spots are going to fill up fairly quickly. That's why we want to start talking about it now and make sure that we secure the spots.
[00:25:22] Edita: Exactly. And for anyone listening, if you have any more questions about, why is this program special and what is the combination of themes? Aneta we can both share that information, because I get this question a lot. Like what is different from regular psychotherapy.
Why come to a five day program or six day program? Because we are really working holistically, we're working with you as a whole and with the breath, with the movement, with the playfulness, the inner child. So, kind of the journey that I just described that I went through and that I'm working with my clients on returning to your authentic self. We need that holistic approach to really get there.
[00:26:01] Aneta: Absolutely. Do you mind sharing anonymously, of course, but some of the breakthroughs that you've seen with clients and some of your past retreats.
[00:26:10] Edita: Oh, yes. Breakthroughs. There's been so many. Trying to just bring back some comments and some memories, when we do the breath work, especially combined with emotional processing, a lot of emotions come up, unconscious stuff that the clients were not able to retrieve just through regular psychotherapy. And so I've had a lot of participants say like, wow, where did that come from?
[00:26:34] Aneta: Yeah.
[00:26:35] Edita: come from? In me? I didn't even know I had that anger, or I didn't even know I could play like this. I didn't even know that I had all of this playfulness in me. I just thought I was suppressed. And so a lot of this kind of suppressed emotions come to surface. Also this feeling of belonging. I thought I was alone. I get this one a lot. Like I thought I was the only one. I feel less alone now. so just a combination of things, but my highlight was this was the best week of my life.
[00:27:06] Aneta: Yeah, it's amazing.
I
[00:27:07] Edita: don't even know what to do with that.
[00:27:09] Aneta: Yeah. That's so powerful. It is so powerful. And I think that when people have these experiences, what I always remember is they're going home typically, and that ripple effect back in the world and their home with their families, with their friends, with their work, their community.
I mean, that literally is how we start to change the world is just by doing the work ourselves, focusing in on taking care of our own and then coming back and choosing to be a light in this world.
[00:27:39] Edita: Exactly that. And we are actually providing a space for healing. Because you think about it, in the everyday, we don't make enough time and room for that. So I really feel like these five or six days are sacred because we make the time. We make the space to really see you, to hear you, and to take you wherever you need.
To go. 'cause I get this question a lot. Like, what do you think I need Edita? No, I think you know what you need. I will guide you, I'll guide you through towards that. And so all you need to do is show up.
[00:28:10] Aneta: It's so true. And we, in coaching, we believe the same thing. The answers are within, let's just create the space for those to emerge. And you're right. When you combine breath work with all these other practices too, it's incredible to see what can happen.
I'm so excited and I'm so excited that we finally get to meet in person.
[00:28:29] Edita: I know.
[00:28:31] Aneta: You talk to someone so much and especially overseas and then you finally meet and you're like, wait, we've never done this before.
[00:28:39] Edita: I dunno. I know I'll probably be pinching you in the beginning. Are you real? Are you for real?
[00:28:48] Aneta: For sure. No, I think it's exciting and I'm so grateful that we have this opportunity to do this together. So we'll include all the links and I know we'll have a brochure that people can see as well. And soon as possible. Yeah. We'll start opening up the spaces for our guests and pick the one that resonates more, either the shorter one or the longer one. It's going to be here before we know it.
[00:29:11] Edita: Yay. I can't wait. I can't wait.
[00:29:13] Aneta: Yeah. Edita, I ask all my guests a final question, which is tied to the title of the podcast. What does it mean to you to live the width and not just the length of your life?
[00:29:29] Edita: What does it mean to live the width of my life. I think it's just really, really resonating with me everything we just talked about today. I think that living my truth, it means to tune into what I need, for myself to what I need rather than what I should be doing. So before we move I heard a lot of shoulds. It's such a safe country. Are you sure? Are you sure you're doing, you should be staying for the kids. There's a lot of shoulds going around, norms, and I think for me it's really about tuning into your own truth. What do you need? What do you yearn for? And going for that, obviously making time and space and being realistic. Yeah.
[00:30:19] Aneta: Oh, I love that. So true. And it always comes back to just that authentic version of ourselves.
Edita, thank you for being such a bright light in this world for the amazing work that you do with so many lives have been changed because of you, and I cannot wait for us to be able to do this together.
[00:30:37] Edita: I feel the same Aneta. Thank you for taking the time
[00:30:40] Aneta: Of course. All right, talk soon.
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