Yes, and ...

Yes, and …

We don’t need to be, or do, only one thing. We can build a whole life doing all/many of the things that are interesting to us.

I’ve noticed that many of us think that life decisions need to be binary. We have placed handcuffs on ourselves and then agonize trying to make the “right” decision. Yet, you have full permission to try something new.  You may either love it or decide that it’s not for you. Either result is a win. 

The area where this is prevalent is around our careers. In our minds, we have to either stay in our current roles or quit and do something different. Or, we have to work for someone else or start our own business. Or, we stay here, and we can go there on some imaginary future date. So, who made up these rules? 

I love to remind my coaching clients that we don’t need to be, or do, only one thing. We can build a whole life doing all/many exciting things. The first step is to follow the energy and passion. 

If there’s an idea that you’ve been thinking about, take the first step and explore that option. Then, do the research, and then take action. 

• If you want to teach a course while you’re still working full time, contact a local university.

• If you’d like to work at Starbucks because you love coffee and miss talking to people, fill out an application.

• If you want to open an Etsy shop and sell things you create, do that.

• If you love to cook and may be interested in exploring it as a career later in life, sign up for a cooking class.

• If you want to sign-up for yoga teacher training while working full-time at a bank, do that.

That last example was me. I signed up for yoga teacher training two years before leaving my job and starting my own business. Why? I wasn’t sure at the time. All I knew was that I wanted to follow my desire to learn more. I had a hunch that the dots would connect in the future somehow. And, they have. 

Here are a few other reminders:

• You have permission to try new things.

• There is no perfect time to try something new.

• Trying something and deciding you don’t like it isn’t a failure; it’s information.

• We all have 24 hours in the day, and if it’s essential, you’ll make time for it.

• We don’t have to have it all figured out to take action. Just start.

What’s the worst that can happen?

• You may meet some cool new people you wouldn’t ordinarily meet.

• You may find a newfound zest for life.

• You may increase your skills.

• You may find a passion that you want to explore further.

• You may find yourself proud that you took a chance on something new.

Remember, tomorrow is not promised, but we do have today. 

Choosing FREEDOM over perfection

Choosing FREEDOM over perfection

I’ve become more aware of an affliction that many of us share - it’s our quest for perfection and high achievement. It’s a striving, a daily challenge, an itch that we keep scratching.  It’s filling every minute of the day with activities to feel a sense of accomplishment as we cross them off the list.  Not only is perfectionism exhausting, but it can cause us to procrastinate and not take chances on new ideas for fear of judgment.  What if we seek perfection, but what we really need is FREEDOM. 

Seeking to do something well is not the real problem - high standards and exceptional quality are beautiful virtues.  It is our quest to achieve an unrealistic goal, the punishment we inflict upon ourselves if/when we miss the mark, and our fear of judgement from others that indicate that this quest is not without cost.

What if we sought freedom instead of perfection?  What would freedom look like in our daily lives? Choosing freedom over perfection allows for more creativity, joy and peace in our lives. Freedom allows us to remove the shackles of our own self-constraints and instead experiment with self-expression and growth during the process. 

It is not easy to decide to abandon our need for perfection, and in my experience it’s something I work on daily.  I’ve found that by making small changes daily I was able to add more freedom, passion and purpose into my life.    

• Incorporate more creativity into your life.  Sketch, color, draw, write, cook, bake - experiment with hobbies just for pure enjoyment.  Choosing activities that can get messy and are subjective allows you to experiment with completing tasks without needing them to be perfect.  

• Do something that scares you everyday.  Maybe it’s writing an article, posting a video, or starting a new activity.  Determine what is good enough, instead of waiting for it to be perfect.  Trust me, it’s not as scary as you think it is, and by practicing things that scare you more often, the fear and worry will dissipate.  

• Eliminate what is not necessary and what doesn’t bring you joy from your daily list.  Some things end up on our lists everyday because we feel the urge to fill every single minute of the day with activity.  It’s ok, and actually healthy for us, to take time to rest, to think and to be fully present in the moment.

• Add your self-care to the top of your daily to-do list.  If you do not fill up your energy tank first everyday, you will not have anything left to give to others.  Add items to your daily list that focus on your health, your growth and development, and your happiness and peace.  

• Start saying “no” to things that don’t matter and saying “yes” to things that align with your dreams.   How often do we say “yes” because we feel like we should, or because we don’t want to disappoint those we care about?  Others’ agendas don’t need to become your to-do list. 

• Stop comparing yourself to others.  We each have a 1 in 400 trillion chance of being alive.  Each of us has unique experiences, skills, talents and interests.  Focus on what brings you joy and start there. 

Every day is like a blank piece of paper.  We cannot control or choose all of our circumstances, but we can choose to focus on activities that create more peace, passion, purpose and freedom in our lives. 

Let me know what you are adding or eliminating from your list.  

Leveraging the gift of time

Leveraging the gift of time

What we do with the extra hours in the day that we have been given back will be critical.

We humans like to be comfortable and we also like to feel in control.  What is happening right now in the world does not make us feel either.  There is a general feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty as a result of the pandemic and social distancing implementation.  

As we have retreated into our homes, it feels like time has slowed down.  Those who work outside the homes and have been asked to work from home have been given back hours of time they would have spent getting ready for work and commuting to and from the office.  Students at universities are attending their classes virtually, opening up their days.  Families with little children whose schools have been closed are now together 24/7.

Time is, and has always been one, of our most precious gifts.  We’ve used the excuse “I don’t have the time” to postpone our dreams, to become healthy, and even work on relationships.  What we do with the extra hours in the day that we have been given back will be critical.  Will we waste the time by distracting ourselves, or will we see time as a blessing and finally do things we’ve delayed? 

Here are some options to start today:

• Start a regular exercise routine in your home or go for walks outside (while practicing physical distancing).

• Implement a self-care practice of gratitude, meditation and journaling to promote mindfulness and guard our mind against worry, stress and overwhelm. 

• Promote your personal growth and development by listening to podcasts, reading books and even watching documentaries on topics of interest.

• Cook and eat meals together with your family at home.

• Re-connect or stay connected with family and friends outside your home by calling or leveraging FaceTime or Zoom.

• Learn a new language by leveraging online resources and apps. 

• Get the sleep you need by taking power naps and getting the 7-9 hours of sleep that we all need.

• Think strategically and creatively by blocking out distractions and solving critical business or personal challenges that you’ve postponed focusing on. 

• Start or re-engage with a hobby or interest.  Begin writing your best-selling book, paint again, pick up that guitar or sit down at the piano, experiment cooking new meals with items in your pantry and refrigerator, write your business plan, finally do a vision board, etc. 

• Get organized by cleaning out your closet and donating “stuff” that you don’t need, organizing your pantry and discovering how much food you already, getting your finances in order by creating a budget. 

This list is not meant to be exhaustive.  We each have things that have been placed on our hearts.  What will you be doing with the extra time that you’ve been given? 

Living yogic principles today

Leveraging an ancient philosophy in today’s modern world.

Practicing the Yamas benefits not only the individual, but also society at large as we choose to be kinder, more forgiving, compassionate, and grateful.

When most people think of yoga they have pre-conceived ideas of what yoga is.  While most are familiar with the physical practice of yoga, yoga poses, or asana, is only one of the eight limbs of yoga.  Yoga is a philosophy that has been around for over 5,000 years, and is just as applicable today as it was when Patanjali wrote about it in the Yoga Sutras.

In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, yoga is a philosophy, a tradition, and practice that teaches us how to live a meaningful and purposeful life.  The Eight limbs of yoga, called Ashtanga, require discipline, commitment, practice, and patience in order to realize self-transformation.   

The Yamas are the ethical standards, or outward display of behaviors, and how we live our lives.  For this reason, many compare the Yamas to the Golden Rule:  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Practicing the Yamas benefits not only the individual, but also society at large as we choose to be kinder, more forgiving, compassionate, and grateful.  

The first Yama is Ahimsa.    Ahimsa asks that we show compassion for all living things by not harming.  This pertains to non-harming and non-judging with our thoughts, words and actions.  I’m sure we can each remember an instance where we were not practicing Ahimsa. Perhaps you recently had road rage, or had negative thoughts about the person in front of you in line at the store who was taking too long.  Did you speak or think unkind thoughts and words to yourself?  Words and thoughts do matter.  Practice some self-love and acceptance today. 

The second Yama is Satya.  Satya means truth and integrity.  Many of us aspire to be honest, truthful, and practice integrity, yet this Yama also asks us to look at the quality of our speech. Do we gossip? Do we omit details or information to persuade others to our point of view?  Do we practice integrity of speech with comments on social media?  With the proliferation of information at our disposal it is important to investigate the sources of information that we are consuming and sharing.  Practice Satya with the lens on Ahimsa at the same time. If the information shared will knowingly hurt the recipient, we may question our desire to share it.  

The third Yama is Asteya.  Asteya means non-stealing.  The most obvious interpretation is to not take someone else’s possessions without their permission.   Discerning between what is permissible and what is beneficial is critical in all of our actions.  If we probe deeper, Asteya is not tied only to material things.  We can steal someone else’s joy, their energy and their time if we are late. 

The fourth Yama is Brahmacharya.  Brahmacharya has been described most often relating to abstinence and sexual behaviors, yet the definition is broader.  When I went through yoga teacher training my teachers referred to Brahmacharya as “sense control”.   I like to think of this as being aware of our own energy, acting with self-dignity, and choosing wisely how to expend our energies.  Do our choices lead towards positive emotions, self-transformation, and elevation of spirit?  Or, do they cause us distress, depletion, and move us further away from our positive transformation?  Containing our energies, and choosing self-respect should lift us up, and bring us further on our journey.

The firth Yama is Aparigraha.  Aparigraha means to not hoard, to release attachments to material things, and to stop the insanity of acquiring more.  It means to stop clinging to possessions, relationships, and choices that no longer serve us, and prevent new blessings to come into our lives.  Aparigraha may be the hardest Yama for many in our society.  Sometimes it’s described as greed or coveting, yet Aparigraha is also the attachment to old thoughts, patterns and behaviors, too.  Focusing on building a daily gratitude practice shifts our thinking to appreciating what we have today, in this moment, and recognizing that it is enough. 

Practical ways to practice the Yamas now:

1. Ahimsa: Write positive affirmations for one minute in your journal as part of your morning routine. Practice, self-care, choose to be kind to yourself and others.

2. Satya: Examine your social media and news sources. Are they beneficial? How does what we read or look at impact what we share or put out into the world. Choose honesty, kindness and integrity.

3. Asteya: Plan your day and choose to be on time for all meetings or appointments, and end them early, if possible, to give time back. Return items that you’ve borrowed to their owner with a thank you note.

4. Brahmacharya: Journal on how you expend your energy. Do your choices elevate you and positively contribute to your best self, or do they cause angst and deplete you? Choose to make positive changes to contain your precious energies for those that lift you up!

5. Aparigraha: Start a daily gratitude practice. Write in a journal for one minute as many things that you are grateful for as part of your morning routine. Practice gratitude before each meal acknowledging what came to pass for you to be able to consume your meal. End each day journaling or reflecting silently as you fall asleep on the blessings you experienced this day. Look around your home and donate clothes, books, household items – anything you haven’t used or no longer need. Examine your limiting beliefs or your need to be right.

Cleaning out that which no longer serves us makes room for new blessings.  Practicing the Yamas is critical on your self-transformation path and will prepare us for the other limbs.