Yes, and ...

Yes, and …

We don’t need to be, or do, only one thing. We can build a whole life doing all/many of the things that are interesting to us.

I’ve noticed that many of us think that life decisions need to be binary. We have placed handcuffs on ourselves and then agonize trying to make the “right” decision. Yet, you have full permission to try something new.  You may either love it or decide that it’s not for you. Either result is a win. 

The area where this is prevalent is around our careers. In our minds, we have to either stay in our current roles or quit and do something different. Or, we have to work for someone else or start our own business. Or, we stay here, and we can go there on some imaginary future date. So, who made up these rules? 

I love to remind my coaching clients that we don’t need to be, or do, only one thing. We can build a whole life doing all/many exciting things. The first step is to follow the energy and passion. 

If there’s an idea that you’ve been thinking about, take the first step and explore that option. Then, do the research, and then take action. 

• If you want to teach a course while you’re still working full time, contact a local university.

• If you’d like to work at Starbucks because you love coffee and miss talking to people, fill out an application.

• If you want to open an Etsy shop and sell things you create, do that.

• If you love to cook and may be interested in exploring it as a career later in life, sign up for a cooking class.

• If you want to sign-up for yoga teacher training while working full-time at a bank, do that.

That last example was me. I signed up for yoga teacher training two years before leaving my job and starting my own business. Why? I wasn’t sure at the time. All I knew was that I wanted to follow my desire to learn more. I had a hunch that the dots would connect in the future somehow. And, they have. 

Here are a few other reminders:

• You have permission to try new things.

• There is no perfect time to try something new.

• Trying something and deciding you don’t like it isn’t a failure; it’s information.

• We all have 24 hours in the day, and if it’s essential, you’ll make time for it.

• We don’t have to have it all figured out to take action. Just start.

What’s the worst that can happen?

• You may meet some cool new people you wouldn’t ordinarily meet.

• You may find a newfound zest for life.

• You may increase your skills.

• You may find a passion that you want to explore further.

• You may find yourself proud that you took a chance on something new.

Remember, tomorrow is not promised, but we do have today. 

Design a Life Worth Living

Design a Life Worth Living

“Every life is a story. Whether it is a story worth telling and talking about, though, is up to you.” - Donald Miller, A Million Miles In A Thousand Years

Every morning, I start my day with a consistent routine of enjoying my bulletproof coffee in my office, and selecting books to read from that inspire, challenge, and motivate me to be a better human being.  Re-reading words again, and inviting them to speak directly to me is one of the greatest gifts I give myself.  The book I randomly selected this morning was Donald Miller’s A Million Miles In A Thousand Years. Often, I journal about the messages that inspire me. This morning, I feel compelled to share the messages that resonated with me so strongly. 

Donald Miller wrote his successful memoir Blue Like Jazz in 2003. He was approached by two movie producers who wanted to make a movie of his memoir.  During the course of their discussions, he realized that the life he was living, wasn’t actually a good story for the big screen.  Many of his days were a forgettable series of routines that wouldn’t make a very compelling movie.  He questioned “whether a person could purposefully plan their life, and then live it with intentionality.”  After attending a writing workshop to learn more about what makes a good story, he was given this definition: “A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.”  

Many of us want better experiences in our lives, but we struggle with the discomfort that it will take - the conflict - to get to the other side.  It’s much easier to maintain our routines, to live in the mundane, to binge watch Netflix, than it is to reset and choose change.  Yet, what if the whole point of our lives is to constantly evolve, and be able to look back at our intentional choices that built a purpose-driven life?  

Here are 5 things you can do today to live a life with more intentionality.

1. Write down the ideals or guidelines for your life. What do you believe in? What are the most important things to you? These guidelines help shape our choices, where we spend our time, and who we choose to allow into our lives.

2. Examine where you spend your time and if it aligns with your guidelines. Everyone of us has 24 hours in each day. Our choice of where we spend our time is within our control. Does where you spend your time align with your life guidelines? If it doesn’t, what does it say about where you’re placing the most importance in your life?

3. Create a vision board or keep a dream list of experiences or goals. Is there a dream that you’ve never made time for? Are there experiences or places you’ve wanted to visit but never have? Fear is usually the culprit that stops many of us from pursuing things that have been on our hearts. Miller says “Fear isn’t only a guide to keep us safe; it’s also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” Creating a visual representation of images and words that depict the life experiences that you want is a great way to manifest them. Frame your completed board, place it prominently where you can see it daily. Being able to reflect on the things that you say are important is the quickest path to realizing them.

4. Set boundaries. Where have you made compromises with your time, energy, and money because you felt like you “should” do something? Not setting clear boundaries with ourselves and others leads to resentment. What should you start saying “no” to in order to start saying “yes” to a bigger life? If you haven’t listened to Brene Brown talk about boundaries, I strongly encourage you to do so: Here is a direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U3VcgUzqiI

5. Start today. Our cells in our body regenerate all the time. Some cells regenerate daily, and other like our bones take 10 years. But, we are made new all the time. I find that so exciting! We can choose to do the same with our thoughts and our choices everyday.

 I’ll leave you with a quote from another amazing book, Chase The Lion by Mark Batterson.  “You are one idea, one risk, one decision away from a totally different life.  Of course, it’ll probably be the toughest decision you ever make, the scariest risk you ever take. But if your dream doesn’t scare you, it’s too small.” 

Hope, Renewal and Growth

I love Spring - it’s a season of hope, renewal and growth. The snow has thawed and melted, the grass is green, the flowers are budding, and the animals and humans are outside again. The potential for change in our environment and ourselves is exhilarating.  Yet, if we don’t pay attention, the changes seem to happen overnight, and we can miss them.  

Last year, in my need to bring more balance back to my life, and perform a bit of self-care, I’d started practicing yoga and meditation daily.  I have been practicing yoga for over 20 years, but inconsistently, and focusing more on it as exercise rather than medicine for my life.  Yoga is a practice in self-reflection. Meeting ourselves on the mat means learning to breathe through all of the thoughts, emotions and memories that arise when we move through our poses. The urge to run away can be very strong, but the only way to get to the other side is to completely surrender and breathe.

The Yamas and Niyamas are two limbs of yoga on the path towards self-reflection, and a guide for our life’s journey.  While studying the history and philosophy of yoga in my teacher training, I started to notice areas of my life where I was not practicing love, where I was grasping, where I wasn’t content, or where I was overly rigid.  I recognized when I was ruled by the ego and not the Spirit.

Running so fast, and for so long, allowed me (required me) to keep my mind, body and spirit separate. I had somehow disassociated from the core of who I was as a whole.  Yoga and meditation became the mirror that reflected my life back to me.  And, it wasn’t the soft lighting mirror - it was the other one that you’re scared to look at because its bright light magnifies every line and every blemish. Once you look, you can’t un-see what you saw. It was time to slow down and make some changes in my life.

My yoga instructors have taught me that the pose itself is not the goal; it’s the movement between the poses that matter more.  Injuries happen often moving from pose to pose when we’re not paying attention, rushing or pushing through despite pain.  Focusing on the breath, on proper alignment, being present in the movement and releasing the ego are critical in yoga.  I’ve come to realize how important these things are in life, too.

I know slowing down is not easy.  It forces us to deal with things that are unresolved. By making small adjustments, we can de-program ourselves from old patterns, thoughts and attitudes.  The changes won’t happen overnight, but they will come. 

Here are a few small changes you can implement:

1. Starting a daily meditation, affirmation and gratitude practice allows you to quiet the mind, practice being kinder to yourself, and recognize your blessings.

2. Schedule time on your calendar for alone time to take a walk, read, take a bath, enjoy a glass of wine, journal - whatever your version of a guiltless pleasure is.

3. Begin to de-clutter your home, closets, and drawers, and make room for new beginnings and changes.

4. Simplify your life to create room for things that bring you true joy.

5. Focus less on the destination and more on the journey. 

Revel in stillness and your breath.  Instead of racing from one destination to the next,  choose to live more fully in the space between the moments.

I am not “cured” of my controlling and high-intensity tendencies, but I am more self-aware and have the desire to change. Instead of beating myself up with unkind words or thoughts about my short-comings, I am practicing self-love and care. By finally slowing down, I feel peace, love and joy. And, you can, too.

Namaste

 “When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist