Design a Life Worth Living

Design a Life Worth Living

“Every life is a story. Whether it is a story worth telling and talking about, though, is up to you.” - Donald Miller, A Million Miles In A Thousand Years

Every morning, I start my day with a consistent routine of enjoying my bulletproof coffee in my office, and selecting books to read from that inspire, challenge, and motivate me to be a better human being.  Re-reading words again, and inviting them to speak directly to me is one of the greatest gifts I give myself.  The book I randomly selected this morning was Donald Miller’s A Million Miles In A Thousand Years. Often, I journal about the messages that inspire me. This morning, I feel compelled to share the messages that resonated with me so strongly. 

Donald Miller wrote his successful memoir Blue Like Jazz in 2003. He was approached by two movie producers who wanted to make a movie of his memoir.  During the course of their discussions, he realized that the life he was living, wasn’t actually a good story for the big screen.  Many of his days were a forgettable series of routines that wouldn’t make a very compelling movie.  He questioned “whether a person could purposefully plan their life, and then live it with intentionality.”  After attending a writing workshop to learn more about what makes a good story, he was given this definition: “A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.”  

Many of us want better experiences in our lives, but we struggle with the discomfort that it will take - the conflict - to get to the other side.  It’s much easier to maintain our routines, to live in the mundane, to binge watch Netflix, than it is to reset and choose change.  Yet, what if the whole point of our lives is to constantly evolve, and be able to look back at our intentional choices that built a purpose-driven life?  

Here are 5 things you can do today to live a life with more intentionality.

1. Write down the ideals or guidelines for your life. What do you believe in? What are the most important things to you? These guidelines help shape our choices, where we spend our time, and who we choose to allow into our lives.

2. Examine where you spend your time and if it aligns with your guidelines. Everyone of us has 24 hours in each day. Our choice of where we spend our time is within our control. Does where you spend your time align with your life guidelines? If it doesn’t, what does it say about where you’re placing the most importance in your life?

3. Create a vision board or keep a dream list of experiences or goals. Is there a dream that you’ve never made time for? Are there experiences or places you’ve wanted to visit but never have? Fear is usually the culprit that stops many of us from pursuing things that have been on our hearts. Miller says “Fear isn’t only a guide to keep us safe; it’s also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” Creating a visual representation of images and words that depict the life experiences that you want is a great way to manifest them. Frame your completed board, place it prominently where you can see it daily. Being able to reflect on the things that you say are important is the quickest path to realizing them.

4. Set boundaries. Where have you made compromises with your time, energy, and money because you felt like you “should” do something? Not setting clear boundaries with ourselves and others leads to resentment. What should you start saying “no” to in order to start saying “yes” to a bigger life? If you haven’t listened to Brene Brown talk about boundaries, I strongly encourage you to do so: Here is a direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U3VcgUzqiI

5. Start today. Our cells in our body regenerate all the time. Some cells regenerate daily, and other like our bones take 10 years. But, we are made new all the time. I find that so exciting! We can choose to do the same with our thoughts and our choices everyday.

 I’ll leave you with a quote from another amazing book, Chase The Lion by Mark Batterson.  “You are one idea, one risk, one decision away from a totally different life.  Of course, it’ll probably be the toughest decision you ever make, the scariest risk you ever take. But if your dream doesn’t scare you, it’s too small.” 

Living yogic principles today

Leveraging an ancient philosophy in today’s modern world.

Practicing the Yamas benefits not only the individual, but also society at large as we choose to be kinder, more forgiving, compassionate, and grateful.

When most people think of yoga they have pre-conceived ideas of what yoga is.  While most are familiar with the physical practice of yoga, yoga poses, or asana, is only one of the eight limbs of yoga.  Yoga is a philosophy that has been around for over 5,000 years, and is just as applicable today as it was when Patanjali wrote about it in the Yoga Sutras.

In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, yoga is a philosophy, a tradition, and practice that teaches us how to live a meaningful and purposeful life.  The Eight limbs of yoga, called Ashtanga, require discipline, commitment, practice, and patience in order to realize self-transformation.   

The Yamas are the ethical standards, or outward display of behaviors, and how we live our lives.  For this reason, many compare the Yamas to the Golden Rule:  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Practicing the Yamas benefits not only the individual, but also society at large as we choose to be kinder, more forgiving, compassionate, and grateful.  

The first Yama is Ahimsa.    Ahimsa asks that we show compassion for all living things by not harming.  This pertains to non-harming and non-judging with our thoughts, words and actions.  I’m sure we can each remember an instance where we were not practicing Ahimsa. Perhaps you recently had road rage, or had negative thoughts about the person in front of you in line at the store who was taking too long.  Did you speak or think unkind thoughts and words to yourself?  Words and thoughts do matter.  Practice some self-love and acceptance today. 

The second Yama is Satya.  Satya means truth and integrity.  Many of us aspire to be honest, truthful, and practice integrity, yet this Yama also asks us to look at the quality of our speech. Do we gossip? Do we omit details or information to persuade others to our point of view?  Do we practice integrity of speech with comments on social media?  With the proliferation of information at our disposal it is important to investigate the sources of information that we are consuming and sharing.  Practice Satya with the lens on Ahimsa at the same time. If the information shared will knowingly hurt the recipient, we may question our desire to share it.  

The third Yama is Asteya.  Asteya means non-stealing.  The most obvious interpretation is to not take someone else’s possessions without their permission.   Discerning between what is permissible and what is beneficial is critical in all of our actions.  If we probe deeper, Asteya is not tied only to material things.  We can steal someone else’s joy, their energy and their time if we are late. 

The fourth Yama is Brahmacharya.  Brahmacharya has been described most often relating to abstinence and sexual behaviors, yet the definition is broader.  When I went through yoga teacher training my teachers referred to Brahmacharya as “sense control”.   I like to think of this as being aware of our own energy, acting with self-dignity, and choosing wisely how to expend our energies.  Do our choices lead towards positive emotions, self-transformation, and elevation of spirit?  Or, do they cause us distress, depletion, and move us further away from our positive transformation?  Containing our energies, and choosing self-respect should lift us up, and bring us further on our journey.

The firth Yama is Aparigraha.  Aparigraha means to not hoard, to release attachments to material things, and to stop the insanity of acquiring more.  It means to stop clinging to possessions, relationships, and choices that no longer serve us, and prevent new blessings to come into our lives.  Aparigraha may be the hardest Yama for many in our society.  Sometimes it’s described as greed or coveting, yet Aparigraha is also the attachment to old thoughts, patterns and behaviors, too.  Focusing on building a daily gratitude practice shifts our thinking to appreciating what we have today, in this moment, and recognizing that it is enough. 

Practical ways to practice the Yamas now:

1. Ahimsa: Write positive affirmations for one minute in your journal as part of your morning routine. Practice, self-care, choose to be kind to yourself and others.

2. Satya: Examine your social media and news sources. Are they beneficial? How does what we read or look at impact what we share or put out into the world. Choose honesty, kindness and integrity.

3. Asteya: Plan your day and choose to be on time for all meetings or appointments, and end them early, if possible, to give time back. Return items that you’ve borrowed to their owner with a thank you note.

4. Brahmacharya: Journal on how you expend your energy. Do your choices elevate you and positively contribute to your best self, or do they cause angst and deplete you? Choose to make positive changes to contain your precious energies for those that lift you up!

5. Aparigraha: Start a daily gratitude practice. Write in a journal for one minute as many things that you are grateful for as part of your morning routine. Practice gratitude before each meal acknowledging what came to pass for you to be able to consume your meal. End each day journaling or reflecting silently as you fall asleep on the blessings you experienced this day. Look around your home and donate clothes, books, household items – anything you haven’t used or no longer need. Examine your limiting beliefs or your need to be right.

Cleaning out that which no longer serves us makes room for new blessings.  Practicing the Yamas is critical on your self-transformation path and will prepare us for the other limbs.

3 daily practices to change your life

“Your life is the expression of the limit of your thoughts.” - Prem Sadasivananda

My dear friend, Prem Sadasivananda, wrote this amazing book Empower Your Life: A Guide To Your Highest Purpose.  I’m studying the book with Prem, examining my own thoughts, and how they’ve impacted my life.  Many of us are living in our own heads and believing thoughts that either paralyze us with fear, or subdue us into a life of mediocrity and complacency.  

There is a statistic that I’ve read several times that highlights the issue.  Experts estimate that the average person has anywhere between 50,000 - 80,000 thoughts per day, or 2,100 - 3,300 thoughts per hour. You know what we’re thinking about?  According to research, the thoughts are repeat thoughts that play like a record over and over again, and as much as 80% of them are negative thoughts. 

We now have the attention span of 8 seconds, basically the same as a goldfish. Negative thoughts, beliefs, and even words that we speak release stress hormones in the body that can manifest physical symptoms and weaken the immune system.  The other challenge with focusing on negative thoughts for most of our waking and sleeping hours is that these negative thoughts that we tell ourselves then lay a foundation for our actions, tendencies, and habits.  

The great news is that we can do something about our thoughts.  We’ve all heard of the placebo effect, which was discovered over 50 years ago.  In trials, patients given sugar pills, saline injections, and sometimes fake surgeries have been shown to improve up to 80% of the time.  

Did you know that there have been more recent scientific studies that have proven that our intentions and words can positively or negative impact living things?  Dr. Masuro Emoto conducted experiments showing the impact of energy on water and rice.  He believes that “human consciousness” can impact the molecular structure of water.  In his experiments he showed how positive words spoken over water could either create beautiful crystallizations or turn the water murky.  He also experimented with taking polluted water and cleaning it through positive affirmations or prayer.  In another experiment on rice, he had three identical containers of rice and water.  For the first container, positive words of affirmation and praise were spoken. For the second container, negative, hurtful words were spoken.  The third container of rice was ignored.  The rice in the first group sprouted and had a pleasant smell. The rice in the second group turned black.  And, the rice in the third group started to rot. 

Other similar studies have been done using plants and apples. The results have been similar.  Our intentions, thoughts and words do matter.  Three things that you can add to your daily routine that will positively impact your overall well-being are meditation, gratitude, and affirmations or mantras.  

Meditation:  

Meditating daily has made a positive impact on my life. As someone who also teaches meditation, I often hear from my clients that they can’t meditate.  They say that they can’t quiet their mind or sit still.  My advice, in the most loving voice, is always the same.  “Don’t wait for your mind to be ready to meditate.  Sit your body down, close your eyes, breathe, and continue doing so for 10 minutes.” Over time, our bodies and mind settle in faster, and we come to enjoy our moments of quiet and solitude.

Benefits of meditating:

• Your brain releases serotonin, dopamine and endorphins – leading to a good mood

• Your blood pressures drops

• Pain decreases – a recent study showed a 40% reduction in pain

• Inflammation and swelling decreases

• Digestion improves - rebooting the parasympathetic nervous system

• American Heart Association issued a statement saying that seated meditation “may help reduce the risk of heart disease by lowering blood pressure and stress”

Gratitude:

Giving thanks, being grateful, and saying thank you for the wonderful things in your life today, is one of the fastest way to improve your energy and lift your mood.  There are many ways to establish a gratitude practice.  Some clients like to keep a gratitude journal. Others incorporate giving thanks in the morning, and then as part of their evening reflection before they go to sleep.  The key is to be consistent, and to go deep.  Remember, no one is reading your gratitude list, so write without judgement.  Strive to add new items to your list daily and notice how your perspective changes on what really brings you true joy, peace and happiness. 

Benefits of giving thanks: 

• Feeling happier

• Becoming a nicer person

• Increased energy levels

• More resiliency and improved health

• Improved relationships

• New life perspective

Affirmations and Mantras:

While expressing gratitude makes us feel good, and is relatively easy to do, writing positive affirmations about ourselves is sometimes very difficult.  In one of my first sessions with coaching clients, I ask them to do a one minute exercise in which they write as many positive things as possible about themselves in 1 minute.  The average number written has been 3-5 on the first attempt.  However, with practice, the same clients generate lists in the double digits.

A mantra is a seed/word for energizing an intention, and over time it bears the fruit of your intention. Mantras have been around for over 3,000 years, and used in many spiritual practices.  Many of the ancient Sanskrit mantras were used for healing, abundance, protection, and good fortune.   Mantras help us focus on those things that inspire and create joy.   Incorporating ancient mantras can help grow your practice. Repeated negative thoughts or spoken words create beliefs and behaviors that don’t serve us well. However, choosing to speak positive affirmations or mantras can calm our nervous and respiratory systems, and change our energy. 

Benefits of doing daily affirmations or mantras:

• Stimulates the right and left side of the brain to help move from beta state (super focused) to the theta state (relaxed)

• Reduces stress

• Increases energy levels

• Improves overall well-being

• Enhances capabilities, strengths, talents by focusing on positively expressing your abilities

• Positively affect actions, behaviors and attitudes

• Promotes feelings of gratitude

Challenge:

Making positive changes doesn’t have to be overwhelming if you start with small steps daily.  Incorporating meditation, gratitude and affirmations or mantras into your daily routine is a great first step towards improving your holistic health.

• Find a place to meditate daily and start doing so for 10 minutes per day

• Start a daily gratitude practice by writing down as many things you are grateful for in 1 minute

• Start a daily affirmation practice by writing down as many positive affirmations in 1 minute

Join me on a 30 days gratitude invitation to share gratitude on Instagram.  Follow me at consciousendeavor_ on Instagram.