Yes, and ...

Yes, and …

We don’t need to be, or do, only one thing. We can build a whole life doing all/many of the things that are interesting to us.

I’ve noticed that many of us think that life decisions need to be binary. We have placed handcuffs on ourselves and then agonize trying to make the “right” decision. Yet, you have full permission to try something new.  You may either love it or decide that it’s not for you. Either result is a win. 

The area where this is prevalent is around our careers. In our minds, we have to either stay in our current roles or quit and do something different. Or, we have to work for someone else or start our own business. Or, we stay here, and we can go there on some imaginary future date. So, who made up these rules? 

I love to remind my coaching clients that we don’t need to be, or do, only one thing. We can build a whole life doing all/many exciting things. The first step is to follow the energy and passion. 

If there’s an idea that you’ve been thinking about, take the first step and explore that option. Then, do the research, and then take action. 

• If you want to teach a course while you’re still working full time, contact a local university.

• If you’d like to work at Starbucks because you love coffee and miss talking to people, fill out an application.

• If you want to open an Etsy shop and sell things you create, do that.

• If you love to cook and may be interested in exploring it as a career later in life, sign up for a cooking class.

• If you want to sign-up for yoga teacher training while working full-time at a bank, do that.

That last example was me. I signed up for yoga teacher training two years before leaving my job and starting my own business. Why? I wasn’t sure at the time. All I knew was that I wanted to follow my desire to learn more. I had a hunch that the dots would connect in the future somehow. And, they have. 

Here are a few other reminders:

• You have permission to try new things.

• There is no perfect time to try something new.

• Trying something and deciding you don’t like it isn’t a failure; it’s information.

• We all have 24 hours in the day, and if it’s essential, you’ll make time for it.

• We don’t have to have it all figured out to take action. Just start.

What’s the worst that can happen?

• You may meet some cool new people you wouldn’t ordinarily meet.

• You may find a newfound zest for life.

• You may increase your skills.

• You may find a passion that you want to explore further.

• You may find yourself proud that you took a chance on something new.

Remember, tomorrow is not promised, but we do have today. 

The other side of FEAR is FREEDOM

The other side of FEAR is FREEDOM

“Everything you’ve always wanted is on the other side of fear.” - Jack Canfield

There it is, FEAR.  I wonder how many dreams were squashed before they ever had a chance to happen because of fear.  Fear is a short word, but so highly charged. Each of us have things that we are scared to do. And, overcoming the fear is often where we find freedom, joy, adventure, confidence, and unexpected surprises.  

I lived much of my life afraid in some ways. I followed rules and expectations at school, with my parents, within my ethnic community, and at work. I lived within my comfort zone.

Ironically, I was less fearful in trying new things.  One of the best times of my life was backpacking throughout Europe right after college with my friend Anne.  It was back in 1994 so there were no cell phones, no email, no access to our parents’ credit cards, and no set itinerary.  We had our unlimited Euro Train pass for 30 days, some American Express traveler’s checks, a very heavy backpack filled with our essentials for 30 days, our Rick Steves European travel book, our Birkenstocks, more denim than should ever be worn at the same time (see photo), and a heart full of adventure and naïveté. 

I think our naiveness helped us to have the time of our lives, because we weren’t afraid. We traveled where we wanted to, stuck to an unreasonably low budget, relied on our instincts and intuition to keep us out of real trouble, and figured things out each day.  As a result, we have stories and memories that are vivid, funny, and filled with adventure that would never have happened if we stayed within our comfort zones.  I am still shocked that our parents allowed us to go.

As I look back on my life, the best stories are usually the ones where something didn’t go as planned, where there was a conflict or an unexpected turn of events.  Yet, those are the stories we remember, the ones we tell, the memories that are vivid, and the ones that stand out in a series of other routine or mundane days. 

I am part of the Scare Your Soul community that inspires people to participate in small acts of courage in their lives that lead to transformational changes. This week’s challenge is to choose one obstacle you will conquer in 2021.  For me, I’ve been working over the past two years on getting over my fear of being fully seen.  That means writing content and sharing it regularly.  It is creating videos where I am speaking directly to others.  It means finally writing a book, and creating group online programs that have been on my heart for some time.  It is being more vulnerable in what I share, with the hope that it inspires others to take action and to be more courageous in their own lives.

One of my favorite bible verses that I have carved into wood sits in my office “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” - 2 Timothy 1:7. I look at it everyday as a reminder that we were created to be powerful, loving, and wise.  

We learned fear over time through external circumstances or outside influences that were trying to protect us. In certain circumstances fear has kept us safe from real harm, but it can also be limiting and keep us from experiencing life fully. I don’t know about you, but I am ready to live more fully, and to do things before the fear goes away. It may never go away, and I’m ready to do things scared anyway.

Who is ready to go on this journey with me? Here are some things you can do today:

• Join the Scare Your Soul community and sign up for this challenge.

• Make a list of areas of your life where you have been holding back or where fear has limited you from showing up BIG and journal on what you notice.

• Leave a comment below on what you will be doing scared in 2021.

• Take small, daily steps in ways that challenge you to live outside your comfort zone.

The best moments are where we overcame fear, or lived past our comfort zones, or didn’t know any better until we got to the other side.  That’s where freedom lies, where adventure begins, and where life is lived. Here’s to living more courageously!

Lessons from my experience with COVID-19

Lessons from my experience with COVID-19

Surrendering everyday, being patient, and embracing uncertainty are life-long lessons that never get any easier.

I’ve been MIA for a few weeks and today is the first day in weeks that I am starting to feel more like myself.  Since the end of December, COVID has spread throughout my family. We were all careful, but we caught it like millions of others all over the globe.

When I first started to feel unwell, I was convinced it was a sinus infection.  I actually tested negative for the virus initially and was sent home with medicine for a sinus infection. Then, for 11 days afterwards, I had an ongoing fever that wouldn’t go away.  The fever brought chills, body aches, a debilitating headache, nausea, exhaustion, foggy brain, and finally loss of taste and smell.  

I rested, continued taking my daily supplements, drank water, ate plant-based foods - I did everything I knew to stay healthy, and to try to recover faster.  I tried to keep working, until I couldn’t do that without making myself sicker.  I practiced affirmations.  I reached the point where I was physically exhausted, but also emotionally drained and frustrated. 

Those who know me know that I am a very active person who tries to squeeze as much out of everyday as I can, I have a zest for life, and a strong love of learning.  I love to teach, coach, write, learn, connect with others, and slowly I couldn’t do these things anymore.  I love to practice yoga, go for daily walks, socialize with friends, eat great food, drink good wine, and enjoy dark chocolate.  I couldn’t enjoy these things either.  I realized that for me, not doing the things that bring me joy was contributing to my lack of energy and melancholy.  

Day 11 I finally went to the ER to get checked out and was given a cocktail of medicines that almost overnight made me feel considerably better.  I decided that I wanted to share the lessons I learned in case it can help:

• COVID-19 is no joke. It does not discriminate, it affects everybody differently, it is sneaky and tricky, and there is no certainty for how and when you’ll get better. It is physically and emotionally draining.

• Surrendering everyday, being patient, and embracing uncertainty are life-long lessons that never get any easier.

• Losing your taste and smell is awful. I grew up in an ethic household with a mom who is an amazing cook and baker. My husband is a great cook, and I enjoy sitting down to a good meal. Not being able to enjoy eating is a form of torture that I don’t want to experience again.

• I will never take my able body for granted. Not being able to practice yoga or go for a walk outside was very humbling, and scary. Being able to walk today without getting winded or dizzy was a breakthrough.

• As an avid reader and learner, not being able to hold a thought for long or read for any extended period of time during this illness, was heartbreaking and frustrating.

• Allowing others to care for me was necessary. While I like taking care of others, I had to allow others to check in on me, drop off tea, foods, magazines, and medicine. I am forever grateful for my family, my friends, and my clients who checked in, prayed for me and my family, and shared words of support.

• When you think you’re better, take it slow. I am notorious for trying to jump back in too quickly. The sneakiness of this virus has shown me that it is not a winning strategy.

I am cautiously optimistic that I am turning a corner and will be back to myself soon, however, I am less naive now and know it will all happen in divine timing and not a second sooner.  

I hope to be back sharing regular content and programs.  Thank you for your support, prayers, and well-wishes.  Praying that you and your families stay safe and healthy.  

Love and light,

Aneta

2020's Surprise Blessing

2020’s Surprise Blessing

I will remember 2020 as the year that a group of people came together to meditate every morning, and helped each other to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

I began 2020 excited for the greatest decade ever.  As someone who loves to plan, I set my commitments for 2020 and the next decade.  While they may have played out differently than I’d intended, there were many silver linings, also. 2020 reminded me of what I intellectually know be true - I can’t control all of the circumstances of my life, but I can control my thoughts and my perspective. 

As I reflect on 2020, I will remember many lessons.  I will remember that it was the year that didn’t turn out as I had planned.  I will remember that it was the year that we were put in time out. I will remember the fear, pain, and outrage that we saw repeatedly when we turned on our televisions or refreshed our feed.  I will remember it as the year I spent more time with family, friends, and neighbors. I will remember it as a year of deep reflection and introspection.

And, I will remember 2020 as the year that a group of people, many strangers to one another, came together to meditate every morning, and helped each other to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

2020 pushed me out of my comfort zone and accelerated growth in ways that I didn’t think I was ready for. Five days into lockdown, I recognized that 2020 was not going to be the year I had planned for, and I knew that I needed to focus on serving others. What started as a way for me to serve, to give back, to do SOMETHING - turned into one of the greatest blessings.  

On March 17 I wrote in my journal that I could see that people were anxious, and that maybe I should offer a free meditation class in the mornings.  I wasn’t sure if anyone would join, but I felt compelled to share the offer on social media, with my friends, my coaching clients, and with organizations that I was working with.  On our first day, March 23, 7 people attended.  

Although many of us were initially strangers to one another, we came to rely on each other for support, encouragement, and accountability.  We celebrated birthdays, shared our needs and challenges, and developed genuine care and affection for each other. 

We live in different communities, many of us have never met in person, would never have met otherwise, and yet feel connected.  When someone missed practice, the group would notice. When members became ill or experienced loss, the group was concerned and supportive.  When someone experienced joy, we celebrated with them.    

Eight months later, I am grateful to say that our group has expanded and we still meet daily. This group has been one of the greatest gifts of my life.  A few weeks ago we had our group virtual holiday party.  We had our cameras on, dressed up, had our family members join us, and shared how we each came to join this meditation group.  We made plans for retreats and gatherings when we could safely travel and meet each other in person.  We expressed how this group has helped us to get through this year of uncertainty and tremendous change.  

When discussing our silver linings and greatest lesson that we’ll take forward in 2021 and beyond, our group chose GRATITUDE.  While the pandemic may have brought us all together, it really was something bigger than that.  And for that, I am forever grateful.  

I reflect back on a journal entry from earlier this year that I wrote to myself: 

“Our life is a series of moments strung together.   Enjoy the moments in between, enjoy the silence, the quiet, the ebbs and flows, the chaos - all of it.  Learn to flow with each wave.  Don’t resist.  Float.  Breathe.  Enjoy the sunshine on your face.  Cuddle up and build a fire when it is dark and cold.  But, don’t ever wish a single moment away. Don’t ever rush from moment to moment.  Be present, be still, be focused, be you.  After all, this is all we have.”

While I miss some things from before, I also treasure things from this period of time.  I had predicted that 2020s would be the best decade ever, and I believe that now more than ever before. I believe that every single one of us has talents, gifts, experiences, thoughts, beliefs that are unique to us that we are meant to share.  What we bring to each other, to our relationships, to our communities, is special.  We have the ability to light up the world.